Part 1 of 2 – Best Friends For Never

Oh, summer in the Hamptons. The smell of fresh sea salt in the air, your whole wardrobe of gala gowns ready in your closet… the icy cold glares of your soon-to-be victims. This week, Emily stretches her Old Skool Revenge Skillz to help destroy Mason Treadwell. Her plans are briefly derailed when her off-her-meds Cray Mama whips out two guys to take down the Graysons, but luckily Ems has her #1 bestie Nolan to help out with plan A, and #2 bestie Aiden to help take care of Cray Mama. Also: boring business subplot where Daniel may have taken over Grayson Global, Nolan may have given up all his money and The Initiative blah blah blah.

 

For a girl who started last season only out for herself, Emily’s developed a nice little harem of Revengessistants, each with their own specific strengths for #TeamRevenge(!!!).

Let’s start with Ashley, mainly because they spent most of this episode hiding her behind pieces of scenery. We joke here on YKYLF that they hide Ashley’s outfits but this week took the cake. We didn’t get ONE h-to-t look at her! What SHOES WAS SHE WEARING, because you know they were like 8″ and stunning.

And what’s with this white flowy top? She either borrowed it from Emily, or is trying to subtly make Daniel think about Emily.

The rope necklace is decent but, as we’ll see, it’s just a pale shadow of Queen V’s accessory.

 

Ashley’s ONLY OTHER OUTFIT this week (just two??) was this red top/dress/? (UNKNOWN: she was literally hidden behind this plant the WHOLE TIME:)

Is that… the same necklace as before? This is like, the show realized Ashley was stealing every scene she was in and so they try to hide her away. But we will always see her, Revenge(!!!) writers… always.

 

While Em and Ash aren’t totes besties anymore (the whole Daniel thing kinda got in the way… or was it the whole Cray Tyler thing?), Emily’s closest gal pal is still Fauxmanda and her gorgeous curls:

I mean, yeah, so this is a pretty basic floral tank such as you can find at any American Eagle or Target (#GIFTOFREVENGE) but for Fauxmanda, it’s a huge leap forward. Remember the 9 months pregnant Daisy Dukes incident? Motherhood has clearly given a much-needed fashion wake up call.

 

I mean, her outfits still aren’t – strictly speaking – fashionable. But they are at least acceptable, like this Old Navy button-down:

She’s at least accessorizing the hell out of this, I’ll give her that.

 

And it’s leaps and bounds better than her old All-Girl Chain Gang Look:

Although girlfriend is seriously working that pinney.

 

Em’s Revenge(!!!) Camp bestie, Aiden, certainly brings the smoulder. He’s also got this really sexy way of walking with his hands in his pockets:

Seriously. Between the accent, the casually unbuttoned shirt and the strut, I’m sold. You?

 

He’s equally smouldering with a tie:

 

And you’ve got to give props to the guy who attends a corporate luncheon with a gun AND a bottle of chloroform:

 

He’s obvs got the goods to work the chloroform, as seen here in Exhibit Cray:

 

While Aiden was at Em’s beck and call at Grayson Manor, Nolan got back in the game framing Mason. Love that Nolan pulled out this ninja-style Members Only jacket for his subterfuge:

 

But that’s not all from Mr. Ross this week. Remember how Ashley was subtly dressing like Emily because she was thinking about Emily? Nolan was wearing his best yachting garb because he was missing The Hamps:

Like, his belt is practically made of nautical-style rope he misses Ems and Jack and his home-away-from-home so bad.

And if you were wondering, we’re still at a low threat level, evidenced by his single collar (unpopped):

There’s no bow tie or anything. Step it up, Nolan.

Wait I spoke too soon. SHOES!

SHOES AGAIN:

“You can do anything but lay off of my blue suede shoes.”

 

Well smack me silly and call me Susan because I did NOT expect Emily to a) confess her true identity to Mason or b) for that to convince him to join her League of Minions. At least Mason’s wardrobe was up to his usual level of over-layering:

I’m counting one plaid bowtie, one checked shirt, one sweater vest, one seersucker jacket… it’s still summer, right? Also: in retrospect, as soon as we saw that carefully organized corkboard o’ suspicions that he’d make a great teammate to Emily “Red Sharpie” Thorne.

 

Big Papa Jack gets honorable mention, too. Mainly because he’s serving up little boy at his First Communion realness with this sweet haircut:

Pretty cute there, Mr. Porter. Shame about your terribly boring bar-related plotline.