Part 1 of 2 – Ladies Who Lunch

Whoa, guys, I think I need to take a moment to catch my breath. This week’s episode of Revenge(!!!) took the dramz to a whole new level! Most importantly, Victoria kinda-sorta pushing Amanda off a balcony. Now Amanda is in a coma and her baby is in Intensive Care.

I was going to split these recaps up into ‘good’ and ‘evil’, but on this show, you can’t tell who’s who anymore. Morality on this show is fifty million shades of grey. Instead, we’re gonna break it down by those with day jobs and those without. First? The ladies who lunch.

 

For Emily, things started out cool and casual in a pair of crisp white shorts and a denim shirt.

See, Amanda? That’s how you do beach-chic. Not a striped tee that accentuates your pregnant belly in the worst way possible. Is Ellen Page in Juno her pregnancy style icon or something?

Even Amanda looks like she’s mad at her T-shirt.

 

Later, Emily went to visit Nolan at work wearing one of her signature flowy white tops. And is that a hint of jealousy I sense in her facial expression? 

Emily’s usual accessories are just tasteful jewelry and a cold, emotionless stare.

 

Meanwhile, the Graysons were just enjoying a typical breakfast, with everyone sitting around the table scheming. This time, Victoria wants to see David Clarke’s journal that Amanda had showed Charlotte.

That’s not a hard goal to accomplish, since Emily crafted that journal specifically for Queen V’s eyes. The baby shower Victoria threw for Amanda would have been just the icing on the revenge cake…

 

It started out fine, with Amanda showing up with a troupe of strippers.

 I think Emily’s facial reaction said it all.

 

But, comparatively? Amanda Brought. It. This pink dress is much hotter than that purple monstrosity from last week, and how delicious to wear one of Victoria’s signature bandage dresses, maternity style. Plus, why not flaunt that pregnancy cleavage?

(Who invited the Taylor Swift impersonator, anyway?)

 

Later, Emily pushed Amanda to grill Victoria about her mother, not knowing what kind of price Amanda would pay. It all culminated on the balcony.

You guys! NEVER get into an argument on a balcony.

This will happen:

And then this.

Well, hey. If she was going to go out, at least she went out looking good?

 

Everyone rushed to the hospital, where they discovered Amanda was in a coma.

Emily and Charlotte look stunning. Jack looks homeless. What, did he sell his razor to pay for the repairs to the bar? What is preventing him from shaving?

I love Charlotte’s BCBG Willa Lace dress best because it has that Taylor Swift kind of feel that I always go for (take notes, T. Swift impersonator from the shower), but Emily looks slammin’. And, er, bodacious. I guess pregnant women aren’t the only ones with curves.

 

 

Victoria stayed at the mansion to make sure all the blood was properly cleaned up. We can tell from her face that she didn’t mean to push Amanda off that balcony.

Yet, a surprising number of people Victoria knows have fallen off balconies.

Her friends would be well-advised to either stay away from Victoria, or stay away from heights.