Part 1 of 2: Casual Revenging and Other Criminal Behaviour

You guys, I learned SO MUCH this week. Such as: the White Haired Man is totally dead and apparently has a name (do you really care? He’s dead), but so does Mystery Revenge Dude (Aiden – we care because he’s had sexytimes with Ems). Other things I’ve learned: White Haired Man was in love with Single White Revenge Mom. Conrad and Victoria use Mutual Assured Destruction as a means of keeping their marriage alive. Declan really is as bad at thievery as you’d imagine. And Victoria is up to something fishy since she pulled Fauxmanda on stage with the rest of the Grayson fam jam (I bet that burned Ashley real good). Maybe she just cares too much about Jack to let him stay in a loveless relationship for the child, seeing as that’s how she rolls — wait. That’s ridiculous. She probably just wants to explode her on a plane. 

 

I was worried we spend the whole episode in last week’s clothes.

Thankfully, no. But before we change out of Murder Casual, we make sure we dispose of the evidence and the sexy Mystery Revenge Dude.

Personally, I’d want to keep a dude dressed in black around to help dispose of a gunshot victim, especially when wearing such a lovely cream coloured top. But not our Ems. She’ll wear cream and dispose of multiple bodies…

 

And then change into some Revenge Casual wear.

Hey! It’s Jack in a henley! Quelle surprise! Those costume designers must hate him.

 

Especially as they decided to American Apparel him up like his little bro.

Of course, when you’re living with a pregnant lady who needs the fumes off of the bottle of Jack to get through the night, then I suppose I can forgive your poor wardrobe choices.

 

I can also forgive you for your choices when you have to deal with this AA nonsense on the regular:

That kid needs to lay off the tank tops. Or go full hipster. I’m not encouraging the latter, but at least some of his style choices would make more sense.

 

At least he’s found a moderately good use for all his hoodies, even if his talents don’t lie in robbing houses. 

Pro Tip: don’t bring ID to the B&E*. 

*I am, of course, assuming this to be true. 

 

Declan’s failed foray into the world of the casual teen criminal brought in a visitor to The Little Bar That Could.

I’m not sure who he is, but I’m fairly certain of the following: 1) this show got a deal on polo shirts in bulk; 2) Mystery Dude’s polo is the beginning of a few fitted shirts this week; 3) his visit to the bar and Jack’s offer of “if you ever need anything” can only be foreshadowing of something shadowy (I’d almost want to insert a Law and Order “dunh dunh” here).

 

As for Sexy Mystery Revenger, he kept is simple in black this week.

And mixed it up with a bit of grey when he went “undercover” to find out the flight recorder in the A/C of the seedy motel (where else would you hide a flight recorder?)

 

I don’t know if he’s less convincing than Ems or if Single White Revenge Moms is as crafty as her daughter, but she didn’t buy the detective ruse for a moment. I think I’m going to like this lady, even if she is wearing this boho mess.

I don’t care if you live in a motel with a homicidal gun for hire, there really isn’t an excuse for that outfit. 

Emily may have gotten some of her crazy cunning from mom, but the style must be from her dad’s side of the family.

 

Not that Emily really brought it this week. In fact, Revenge Casual was Revenge Meh in this blouse.

Love the skinnies, love the shoes, but Ashley in the green pencil skirt is all kinds of winning. Emily loses that round. 

 

Not that Ashley has much of a prize in Daniel. I maintain (and am probably in the minority) that this needs to happen for reals:

That’s right: I’m officially cheering for Nolan and Ems sexytimes. They’d be the craftiest, revengiest, richest, and most stylish evah. 

 

Sadly, that was just whispers of Revenge(!!!) to confuse the new CFO who seems to have feelings about Nolan. Which I understand. Can you imagine if this was your boss?

The mastery of the popped collar and the artful mixing of patterns would be enough to make any CFO swoon.

 

While I dig the trim on Padma’s blouse, she’s going to need to step it up style wise to catch Nolan’s eye.

 

While she’s having feelings about Nolan, Nolan is having feelings about near death experiences and being kicked out of Revenge HQ (fair). Look at him all sad, surrounded by all his super fantastic clothes!

Frankly, I’m a little disappointed in Ems. Revenge(!!!) Roomies was kind of the best. RIP the Three’s Company-esque plotlines that could have been.