What Jess Wore

Lamenting her new gig at the Ass-erole Shanty, Jess finds little sympathy with her so-called profesh roommies when a quartet of hipster art students move into the loft across the hall.  Schmidt wheels out a welcome wagon teeming with bro-ness while Jess practices her newly acquired skill for popular 90s impersonations.  I’ll leave you to guess which one got the rose.  Schmidt hates that he can’t keep up with the anti-Joneses and tries to find his fountain of youth in an ill-fitting graphic tee from his frat boy yesteryears.  Not one to let a good opportunity slide by, Nick pokes at Schmidt’s aging and spends more than what I pay for rent on a series of well-executed pranks.  And convinced he’s going to die in the next five minutes, Winston goes after his dreams.  In the end, Jess realizes that she’d rather teach children than hang with them, Schmidt’s glad he’s an asshead, Nick plots to prank Jess, and Winston brought a snowboard into the bathroom.  


There’s not much you can do with a fast-food joint uniform, but Jess makes the best of it with a khaki pleated skirt and a bouncy ponytail.  Leave it to her to take it from ass-erole to sass-erole.


Nothing groundbreaking here, but I can appreciate classic pairings like a fine white sweater with classic navy stripes and a bold red pair of shorts.    




I wish fall in Chicago meant the same thing as fall in LA–shorts with cute sweaters instead of whichever pair of jeans still fit and wool socks.  This Old Navy boat neck sweater and black shorts is the perfect outfit for a chill night in and clearly has “I’m super cute and super fun and will probably be the best hula hoop partner you’ve ever had” emblazoned on every dot.   


Jess was absolutely darling in this red and white striped Anthropologie frock when she chasséd over to the neighbors’ loft–it’s no wonder she entered into their fold so easily.  I love the contrasting vertical stripes at the sleeve cuff and nothing tops off a dress better than a little black bow belt.  Well, other than that gorgeous head of hair.  Watch your Issa/Reiss/McQueen draped back, Duchess Kate, because Jess’s bouncy curls just might give your glossy locks a run for your sterling. 

Okay, now I see why Chaz was afraid of the washing machine.  Because apparently, when Jess put her red striped dress in there, the stripes fell off.  As much as I covet this little red Shoshanna dress (ok, fine, I covet every little red dress but don’t throw stones at glass houses; you know you want them, too), the new girl has got to get herself a new color.  And a new belt.  No matter how ridiculously adorable it is.

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