Part 2 of 2: Mothers and daughters, sisters and secret sisters.

Remember how when Charlotte first got into drugs, she started visiting cars with the windows all slanted like in old timey Batman cartoons? Welcome to Arkham Asylum Rehab! 

You know something’s not right when they’re framing it like the crazy farm Mona lives in on Pretty Little Liars.

 

Anyway, Charlotte’s doing way better after 2 months of rehab. She’s traded in her flowery sundresses for the knitted woollens of the newly sober:

That sweater is certifiably cute. But it’s the bitchface that’s selling this look:

It’s moments like this that you realize she really is Queen Victoria’s daughter. And also Emily’s sister. Basically, her DNA is 100% FEROCITY.

 

Revenge(!!!) Skipper switched her sweaters up later, into a much more flattering purple tone. Love the detail at the neckline too:

That’s a little of our old school Princess C. And now that her Totally Not Dead Mom is out of the closet, maybe she can start adding more pop to her look.

 

It’s a Very Cardigan Week on Revenge(!!!) as Charlotte’s secret half-sister Emily shows up in matching skinny jeans, white MARC by Marc Jacobs top, and her very own oatmeal cardi:

 

The cardigan fun times were really on full throttle this week. Emily beats the early summer Hamptons chill with this Rufus Humphrey Original:

 

Even Victoria gets in on the cardigan action, from her far-away safehouse.

Shame about those man pants, though.

 

Nolan steps things up in the tailoring department, correctly surmising that a good blazer is always appropriate. Especially a polka-dotted blazer.

This look goes best pantsless.

Seahorse boxers? Glad to see his whimsical nautical style extends to his underwear.

 

He put on a second polo and a change of blazer for midday work drinks with Padma. I appreciate the double-popped collar, appropriate for a formal occasion. And that seersucker blazer is the epitome of Hamptons chic. 

 

I still feel like I’ve just barely touched this week’s pile-up of wackadoo plotlines. Like, did I remember to mention Emily’s mother, tied up in the loony bin?

 

And how she was visited by Queen V, in flashback, dressed like a schoolmarm/librarian?

 

But then in present-day, Queen V double-crossed White Haired Man, revealed to everybody that she’s Totally Not Dead, claimed to have been kidnapped for the past two months, and blackmailed Conrad into punching her in the face?

 

And then White Haired Man came to Emily’s house, and they were kind of working together for like five seconds?

 

But then he attacked her with a knife, and things were looking crappy, but then he was shot by British Channing Tatum?

 

Yeah, I didn’t quite follow all of that either. I think Conrad can accurately sum up everyone’s reaction to this week’s excellent, if convoluted and insane episode: