Part 1 of 2: Back On The Block And Ready To Rock

After what felt like a double infinity, Revenge(!!!) is back in our lives! I was lucky to get the first season’s first episode, and here we are just over a year later. And in that time, the dramz has only multiplied. Couples have been formed, alliances have been dashed, muscles have been pumped, wombs have blown up, and thankfully, old grudges have not lost their sizzle. Emily is back in The Hamptons with Nolan by her side, and she is ready to tear shit up. The Porter boys are having money troubles (as usual). Charlotte seems to be on the mend. Daniel’s a bit of a mess but now has Ashley’s ample chi-chis to cry into. Conrad’s still surly and crafty. Essentially, everyone’s licked their wounds and is trying to move on. But Round 2 is coming. And it’s gon’ hurt.


Why not start off with a little Gratuitous Male Shirtlessness? Jack, you know how I feel about you and your clothes. Henleys and workman shirts are great, but the pecs are better. Especially when you’re brooding below deck. Declan seems to be running the show now; without a hoodie, might I add. Will Season 2 Jack step up his sartorial swag? 


See – not even the hint of a hoodie! In fact, it looks like Dec has been dipping into Jack’s closet. A chambray shirt with a solid tee underneath? It’s clear Declan is in charge now. How else could he pull off that amount of face?


With a dilapidated bar on his hands, Declan has enough work to distract him from thinking of his pill popping pretty, Charlotte. I’d just like to throw out a round of digital high-fives to Charlotte for getting treatment and taking it in stride (even if it all happened off camera and sort of trivializes the incredibly delicate process). Seems like her love of cute florals has evolved from preppy sundresses to rich, silken blouses. Something I’m totally down with.


Conrad… well… he doesn’t look that much different, but I suppose it’s hard to kick up your heels when you’re under suspicion for everything. At least the tie is a little more dynamic. This “doctor” however, I’m not too keen on. First off, where’s your tie? Second, that blue/brown combo was so 2008 I think he needs a little treatment himself. 


Daniel has gotten noticeably mopey since last season. Indirectly crashing exploding his mother’s flight may have something to do with it, but losing a fine piece like Emily probably doesn’t help. Since our first impression of him is a dark t-shirt and denims, I’m not expecting fashion miracles. Of course, now that he’s shacking up with Ashley – whose fashion sense is weaves and shoulders above The Hamptons – he should take a back seat and let her werk. A canary yellow wrap dress simply belted is simply beautiful; don’t forget the gorge eye makeup!


Since Victoria is, to quote Nolan, “somewhere looking up at us”, Ashley’s become the HBIC of Grayson Manor. Her biggest coup? I’m thinking it’s gaining an assistant to ruin like Victoria did to her. This girl (who’s unnamed as yet) doesn’t quite have the flair of Ashley, but she’s owning the poised and preppy Hamptons look. Great bracelet, great colour, and great note taking skills.


Meanwhile in New York City, everyone’s favourite billionaire, Nolan Ross, is into a step of Kanye’s Workout Plan I must have missed. Because he is FIT.


Yes, everyone looks fantastic for Season 2. And Emily? She looks… umm…


Alright, so she went back to Japan to train with Takeda. Apparently almost drowning helps you unlock memories. I would have suggested hypnosis first, but all my medical knowledge comes from sitcoms. At any rate, Takeda has a new look (re: face) and some handsome fella at his side. There’s a thousand scenarios to ponder with the mystery man, but all I can see is potential Gratuitous Male Shirtlessness.


Don’t worry though, Emily still knows how to throw down the fierceness. For example, take this adorable Reena Eyelet tank. Her brilliant gold hair always stands out, but against this shade of white it just pops, y’all.


Not to be forgotten, Nolan returns to his first love – the popped collar. I love a good blazer/polo combination, especially when there is a matching pocket square involved. The collar is a little shorter than standard polo collars which leads me to believe that we’re only at Threat Level One.


My friends, this is how one does frat boy chic in The Hamptons. At home, Nolan’s ‘The White Stripes’ inspired polo is pretty basic. A classic colour combo, but nothing outstanding. However, add a fresh white dinner jacket, contrasting pocket square, and suddenly you are giving so much look it’s sickening. Top draw, Nolan. Top draw. 


Do you feel like we’re missing someone (besides Victoria)? The answer is yes, we are. I would be remiss to not mention the wild card in this pack of sociopaths and eccentrics that is Amanda Clarke. Better known to YKYLF Staff as Fauxmanda. Oh, in case you forgot her storyline this season:

Yeah. She’s like Jessica Simpson pregnant.


After settling back into The Hamptons for another Revengey summer, Emily and Nolan become temporary roomies. Apparently Casa di Nolan had a few bad memories attached? For their first mission as The Revengers, Emz and Nolan visit the hospital she dreamed about while drowning. 

Most people wouldn’t find that to be a solid lead. But you know what? She’s Emily Thorne. You tell her she’s wrong.