Welcome back, Gleeks! Here’s what you missed on Glee:

  • Rachel is totally missing Ohio and New Directions and has a monster of a dance teacher who calls her “David Schwimmer”
  • On the upside, her new classmate/ housemate is the insanely hot, buff, musically inclined Brody Weston, and he’s … STRAIGHT. And clearly very, very much into her.
  • Kurt is now the gay version of the sad former star quarterback who hangs around the old school after graduation (the true sign of equality is when high school hierarchy stereotypes cross gender and orientation lines… right?)
  • We meet a slew of new characters including Puck’s heretofore unknown brother Jake, who has a giant chip on his shoulder; Kitty, who is Quinn with her bitch setting set at 15 on a 10 point scale; and Marley, a smoky-voiced singer and daughter of the obese new lunch lady who the popular kids (yes the New Directions too, shame on Artie) mock.
  • New Directions are now popular, but also mean, until new girl Marley calls them out. Order is restored: the Gleeks are losers again.
  • Sue’s track suit sightings: 1.
  • Episode ends happily with a tearful Rachel welcoming her new roommate Kurt, who just transplanted to New York after Blaine pleads with him to get out of his rut.

 

Rachel’s Melodramatic Solo of the Week:

This week, the writers decided to have her performance of “New York State of Mind” at NYADA cut with Marley’s version and the distinction between the two of them could not be clearer. Where Rachel’s Broadway Baby bravado clearly echoes Barbra Streisand, Marley’s smoky-voiced purr channels Florence Welch meets Adele.

 

How Sue Sees it:

She doesn’t. Sue’s contribution to plot aside from the revelation that she has an adorable new baby: none, meaning Jane Lynch had a really easy time earning her paycheck this week.

By the way, I’m now referring to the child as “Rosemary’s Baby”.

 

Song of the Week:

A mean cover of Adele’s “Chasing Pavements”. I said earlier that “new Rachel” Marley echoed Adele — which is why she was the perfect choice to sing this song for the perfect episode ending.

New Rachel’s world-weariness was perfect for this song, which wouldn’t have suited Old Rachel (with her eternal optimism). Plus, Old Rachel doesn’t rock matching hat-and-outfit combos the way Marley does:

Girlfriend loves her hats. Can’t wait to see her bring out her homemade fascinator collection.

 

Dance Number of the Week:

(Editor’s note: now that NYADA will force Rachel to dance (it’s Fame 2012!!!), we’ve created this new category for our recaps, at least for the duration of Kate Hudson’s arc)

This week is a smoking mash-up of Lady Gaga’s “Americano” and J-Lo’s “Dance Again”. It’s clear that in an alternate universe, Kate Hudson would have been a musical theatre star. (In this alterna-world, she made fewer of those How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days type of films and instead treaded the boards) She may not be the grandest belter, but she has full, deep vocals to reach the rafters and legs that can kick to the sky. (Note to self: draft petition to have her play Roxie Hart in Chicago on Broadway. Another brilliant idea brought to pop culture by YKYLF.)

Also? Lookit them abs:

Jessica Ennis).

Even Rachel is shell-shocked. I can’t wait to see these two interact in the coming weeks (assuming that the Cassandra “Miss July” July’s alcoholism doesn’t turn into an after-school special).

 

Best Outfit of the Week:

As for Rachel, it seems that her allergy to trousers finally makes her blend in in Manhattan:

The combination of the simple but flattering black top with beret and a very well-constructed skirt earns best-dressed honours.

Rachel in a tailored mini isn’t news, but so far her wardrobe has been less Midwestern, and with a new touch of added sensuality. And about time! With Gossip Girl ending this year, someone’s got to pick up the theatricality Blair Waldorf will leave behind. Dare I say Rachel’s finally getting rid of the cutesy prints?

 

Worst Outfit of the Week:

Was Sugar born in the same studio where Nolan Miller sewed the costumes from Dynasty? NO. NO. NO.

I’m glad he leaves Ohio at the end of the episode. He’d die of boredom there.

 

Mr. Schue’s vest-tie combo:

Nothing has changed, but it’s refreshing that they don’t give him brand-new looks every week. The teen characters are still discovering who they really are, but this guy has found his look and sticks to it.

 

Future Will & Grace:

Kurt and Rachel, roommates in Manhattan. Come on, Glee, forget New Directions and let’s create an entire show just on these two.

Listening to them banter would be exhausting, but I’m hoping the rhythm lands somewhere between Will & Grace, Gilmore Girls and this awesome clip of Six (Jenna von Oy!!) and her mother from Blossom. (For those of you who are too young to remember, Blossom was popular when the first Bush was in office.)

 

By the way, for those keeping count of the suggestions we made in our season 4 wish list, I was the YKYLF staffer who mentioned that they should do German opera. One episode down, 23 more to go so that they can act out Wagner’s Ring Cycle.

What did you think, Gleeks? Do you think this season will bring back the glory days of seasons 1 and 2??