Part 2 of 3: Trouble, Y’all

Kurt’s on fine form in blue and white pinstripes this week – I love the detachable bowtie, I have one on my favourite blouse. Kurt and I are blouse buddies.


KURT AND I ARE BLAZER BUDDIES TOO. I have a blazer just this colour, although I try to avoid wearing t-shirts underneath, as I think it makes me (and Kurt) look like an ageing rockstar.


Did I mention April Rhodes/Barbie the Stripper is an alcoholic? She gets Kurt into the sauce to get him to like her, when all she had to do was compliment his outfit. Abstract patterned shirt, caramel coloured tie, oh Kurt…oh dear God, those trousers are way too short.


I mentioned Kurt turns into Don Draper, and how. “Betty, my grey suit. My effortlessly good hair and sometimes tragic demeanour. Betty, my ugly necktie that looks like a curtain.

“Betty, my soul.”


The closest thing to Betty Draper in Lima is Emma Pillsbury, guidance counsellor extraordinaire. Admire the elegant flick of her hair.


Respect the way she blends two types of purple flowers in the two mediums of clothing and accessories and manages to put pearls back on the fashionable table.


Marvel at how she dresses up even the drabbest cardigan with a pop of colour (Rachel Berry, I’m talking to you).


Worship her sweater clip/cardigan guard, nonchalantly holding her green cardi exactly the right distance away from her collar.


Thrill at her tie-neck blouse, complimented by a gorgeous plum coloured cardigan with military brass facings and matching skirt.


And when you’ve done all that, just look how darling Emma looks in sky blue. It’s her first pastel of the episode, and the puffed Snow White-esque shoulders are to die for.


…salmon again? Okay Emma, I’ll let you off this time, but I don’t like repetition. At all.


That’s why I don’t like Tina. Black and blue and boring all over.

And that’s why I don’t like Mercedes. She keeps wearing the same glittery headscarf and gold jewellery, though the black and aqua pattern on her t-shirt is cute. The other one is just boring.


‘Just boring’ sums up Artie completely. He lives and dies in argyle –

White shirts –


And sweater vests. In this case, a sweater vest that looks like a doormat.


April doesn’t seem to want to corrupt Artie, but she teaches Mercedes and Tina to shoplift: Tina gets beanies, Mercedes gets brighter colours, they both gets snazzy stolen sunglasses. I think these two should hang out more often, they both like heavy, ugly jewellery.


Tina’s not a fan of Kurt’s fabulous plaid tie and waistcoat combo over a baby blue shirt, and I’m not a fan of New Directions all in blue with neckties.

Later on in the season, the girls are allowed to dress like girls.

I promise.