This week, instead of a trip to Mood, the designers worked with food. (Groan. Sorry.) The awesome Dylan Lauren – whom I have a serious girl-crush on – let the designers play at her eponymous candy shop, and the results were both literally and figuratively sticky.

 

Seriously, Dylan, could you be any more adorable in your candy colors, tempered with menswear detailing? Or successful with all your shops and books and tv appearances? Let’s be besties, ok?

 

In the spirit of the Olympics (you know, the other major competition that’s airing on TV right now), I’ve divided this week’s creations into four categories:

 

Disqualified

When Tim saw Andrea’s “Victorian candy store apron” he said it looked craft project-y.

Did he miss the part where they were using candy and glue guns? But no, I agree. Only replace “craft project-y” with “hot mess-y” for a more accurate representation of my feelings on this unflattering monstrosity. It’s got an apron and a bustle. Two things that should never be uttered in the same sentence – let alone worn in public – together.

 

For reals though, I can do no better than Michael Kors’ “she looks like rigatoni Mad Max” comment.

I vote for Tina. Her outfit didn’t fall apart in the Thunderdome. Oh, and may I remind you that Elena literally burned herslef while making this. Y’all, she suffered for her art. But as Christopher pointed out, hoochie shorts are not protective gear. Lessons were learned, life went on.

 

Rounding out the Category of Oh Honey, No is Kooan’s kooky creation. I really can’t expect much else from a man who sighs, gasps, and gesticulates as a regular form of communication. He’s like Bjork’s crazy little brother, right?

 

And hey, if the model ever wants to get a little fitness in, all she needs to do is reach for the jump rope stored at her bum. That’s convenient.

 

Bronze

Ok, the following are barely in this competition. At least the Disqualified category was interesting, whereas these are mired in meh.

 

Gladiator Licorice? The skirt is actually ok, but the top leaves me confused. The odd fit makes me think it was designed for a different model.

 

What do you get when you cross a romper with a hula skirt?

Yeah, I don’t know either. I’d ask what practical application this has, but then again, they’re designing with candy, so I suppose it’s a moot point.

 

The meh-est of the meh. This is not attractive. It’s not even flattering. It’s almost in the DQ category, but it looks like there’s some meticulous work going on, so I’m giving it a pass.

Plus, cute red shoes.

 

Silver

Have you ever wondered what space-age cocktail waitresses might wear? Nathan can show you:

The more I look at this, the less I hate it. When I was in college, I did an internship at Walt Disney World, and one of my roommates worked at the Electric Umbrella in Epcot. She wore a horrible polyester ensemble. I have half a mind to send this to Disney Costuming and see if they’ll let their EU crew wear this, instead.

 

But taste is subjective, I suppose. I’m as pink and girly as they come, and while even I find this appalling saccharine, I give Buffi major snaps for the painstakingly woven bodice. Sure, it’s starting to sag, but seriously you guys – she weaved together a bunch of sour strips.

 

If this had been the Umbrella Challenge, Lantie would have been safe with this cutesy number. Instead, she chose to ignore the rules, and she and her holier-than-thou attitude were told to pack and go.

And those boots are a No. Craft project, indeed.

 

Gold

Alright, now we’re getting into more comfortable territory. I would wear most of these without crying (too much).

Christopher’s dress is a cute frock. It’s a bit messy with the pattern, but that was a whole lot of itty-bitty candy he picked out. I think this is what Dylan was referring to when she said she was surprised that certain (ahem) designers chose to work with such teeny candy. Note to self: when creating a dress out of sugary confections, reach for the all-day suckers.

 

His nemesis Gunnar is similarly drawn to small materials. While I applaud the painstaking pattern and suite of accessories, I’m so utterly distracted by the peplum. I’m truly afraid that it’s going to poke the other models out. Then again, maybe that was his plan.

And I’m pretty sure I heard a collective eyeroll upon Gunnar exclaiming to his model: “Why do you look so good in everything I make for you?” You mean all two outfits? Save statements like that for the end of the season, son.

 

Although I do not love (nor would I even give up a seat on the bus for) the hat, I give Sonjia snaps for her meticulous work and blending of textures. Who knew gummy sharks could be so soothing?

 

Now this is downright adorable. I think it’s extremely wearable, and I appreciate that Fabio used the candy to dye the muslin. Great cut, flattering accents. It deserved to be in the top 3.

 

As did Dmitry’s fabulous salsa dress! Who wouldn’t want to shimmy the night away wearing that? I dunno…maybe there was too much candy-free material? This is why I am not a Project Runway judge.

 

But I do agree with their winning pick. Ven’s dress is truly outstanding. Yeah, I see Dylan’s point about it all being a bit same-y, but just look at it. Wouldn’t you wear that in real life? I mean, if it wasn’t made out of candy.

Well done, sir. I raise an all-day sucker in your general direction.

 

We’re recapping Project Runway as part of PR’s Fashion Network contest. YKYLF wins if we get lots of audience participation so tell us – which designer do you think is next to go?