Part 2 of 3: Schadenfreude

In the beginning, there was Rachel Berry, who looked boring in blue gingham and a sweater vest. Then she flounced off in a plaid skirt, and looked like a boring Catholic schoolgirl.

 

Rachel’s huffy because Will gave a solo to Tina, a state of affairs which made everyone breathe a sigh of relief – too much Lea Michele can lead to adverse side effects, after all.

Tina’s khaki arm-warmers aren’t up my street and nor is her spider pendant, but her black eyelet dress is practically pretty! I love the neckline, plus her matching hair extensions and nail polish.

 

Kurt and Mercedes are oblivious, him looking like Don Draper on a day off in a piped polo and sunglasses and her more like K-Fed with all that gold lame and the fedora.

 

Artie’s, you can’t pull off a death stare while you’re dressed like a snazzy umpire and won’t even pop your top button. Tina…colour. Please. And not freaky green eyeshadow.

We’ll return at the end of this post to see if these two have taken my advice. Hold your breath.

 

Back to the diabolical plot at hand. Sue is now on local TV, telling us how she ‘C’s it. Like Puck, she’ll shrivel up and die if she has anything but Adidas next to her skin.

 

I can never decide if I prefer a round tracksuit collar or a more John Travolta-esque style, like below. Maybe if Sue zipped up to the top and disappeared beneath the polycotton.

 

I’m definitely a fan of this dark periwinkle number with pale blue detailing.

 

What I can never understand is why Sue insists on a big clunky class ring, even with the most demure of pink tracksuits. Here in England, always wearing a tracksuit means you’re lower class. Apparently in the US, it means you’re an evil genius.

 

Rachel auditions for Sue Horrible’s Sing-Along in a quite sweet but quite functional blue dress with white collar and cuffs. I’m all for keeping it simple, but that brown belt does nothing for Rachel’s small waist and she’s crying out for some accessories.

 

Like these accessories! Pink tights and a pink wrap skirt over her leotard, to enhance the twist that Rachel does ballet. Not sure how this adds to the plot…nice bag, though! Nice stars.

 

Rachel brings monotony back on her return to glee club with this blah short sleeved button down and scalloped green sweater vest. But gasp! Schue won’t have her! She’s no longer flavour of the month at McKinley! This really is Gossip Girl!

 

Shall we see if Artie and Tina have taken my advice?

And they have! Artie’s death stare is accompanied by hazard warning orange suspenders and fingerless gloves, ensuring he can dispose of the body when he’s done with you. Tina’s added a red beanie and tooled up with enough belts for several lady goths, but good on her for trying.

I’m hard to please.