It was just another week for the gang of The Devil Wears Prada  Raising Helen Jane By Design. If you’re a fan of Project Runway, chances are you were pumped for this episode. And then slightly disappointed when Nina Garcia was barely featured. At any rate, this season’s storyline skyrocketed forward with Kate moving back to Colorado with Dakota, Ben taking off to play minor league baseball, as well as Jane and Eli sharing their first kiss, all culminating in a Ferris Bueller like dance scene when Jane realizes she’s living on her own. I’ll admit this girl is far more responsible than I was in high school (or am now, for that matter), but I’ve got a feeling this is going to blow up soon. Unless the folks at ABC Family want kids to believe it’s possible to balance school, a career and a social life while finding time to make your own clothes and not have a nervous breakdown before you’re legal in every state.

 

Jane starts this episode off in an adorable summery sundress, paired with some slingback zebra-stripe heels. All in all, another solid choice by everyone’s favourite assistant. Green is a great complementary colour for yellow and that polished stone necklace she’s rocking is such great addition to, let’s be honest, a really simple outfit.

 

Of course this is the Jane we all know and love. An explosion of fabrics and textures? Totally suitable for a first date at one of the nicest restaurants in NYC. Girl, sequins on that level belong in a club or on a drag queen. Or on a high school stage for a production of “Cinderella”… I guess. Can anyone explain Jane’s obsession with tulle? 

 

There are not enough jazz hands in the world to disguise the drabness your dress is throwing down. Without the embellishment, it would be a cute (if plain) black dress. But I just can’t get past that bow. What is happening there? Do not open until forever. 

 

At least the Quimby sense of style improves with each generation. Kate’s outfits aren’t horrible, but they’re just shy of being drop dead. The printed dress with the double belt (which y’all know I can’t stand) heads just south of Cougar On Vacation. Too “Desperate Housewives” and not enough “Revenge”.

 

Speaking of housewives that are desperate, did they recycle this scene with Kate and Dakota? Because I swear, in the 4 episodes of DH that I watched during its run, I saw Teri Hatcher do this pose like, eleven times.

 

In this case, the apple did fall far from the tree. And rolled down the hill into another orchard. Jane and Eli are pretty much the cutest couple on JBD. They’re both a little awkward, totally earnest, and look amazing in simple clothing. Jane is seriously hot in that ivory number from Donovan Decker but remember y’all, that’s Nina’s backup dress. Although her assistant was pretty laissez-faire about it, Nina never needs the backup. Unless…

 

BOOM GOES THE RED WINE. When I was head over heels for Project Runway, my friend Danny and I dreamed up potential spin-offs and our favourite was one starring Ms. Garcia called “Nina Garcia Insults You”. Basically, she would sit in a very lavish chair looking fierce, and a conveyor belt would file people in one by one as Nina hurled insults at them. If this wasn’t an ABC Family program, I can guarantee she would have turned the air blue around that clumsy waiter.

 

Luckily, Jane was wearing the backup dress one table over. And, thanks to a well placed tablecloth and Eli’s blazer, she was able to do a quick costume change in the restroom. Because that’s totally feasible in the NYC of JBD.

 

Hey, I’d be stoked on myself if I could pull that shit off.

 

On the other side of the episode, Rita was throwing shade all over Whitemarsh High. Girl, this beige-on-beige with a pop of beige does entitle you to that much side-eye.

 

 

 

Meanwhile, Amanda is pulling out all the stops to nail Ben. Including a candlelight seduction session in his office. She’s a pretty girl, but at least Rita’s outfit was stylish. This hot pink blazer/blue top combo puts out a vibe that’s over the top. But I guess the point of her character is to try too hard.

 

Let’s remember that Rita and Amanda are fighting over this guy:

 

But he is a good brother to Jane. And a snappy dresser, in my opinion. Speaking as a man who wears plaid like there’s going to be a shortage tomorrow, I love dressing it up with a tie. You get all the benefits and comfort of looking casual while maintaining a semblance of professionalism.

What’s this, Janie? No tutus for school? I don’t even know who you are anymore.

 

 

 

So, Ben got a second chance at his baseball career and turns out he’s still really good. Yay! But that means he’s got to leave, which sucks for Rita and Jane. More so for Rita, who won’t have an adorable piece to show off. Oh well, her tiger-stripe top was a nice departure – even if it’s still in the earth tone region.

 

I know there are throngs of girls and boys out there who love Billy, but I just can’t get behind his style. Anyone else feel like they’re watching a 2004 Avril Lavigne video? That Sk8rBoi look just never hit for me. Believe me, I tried. There are some tragic photos of me rocking suspenders in university; it was phase. Billy has better options than letting his skinny suspenders and bandanna hang out of his pants. Frankly, the dog tags would have been enough.

 

There’s nothing especially remarkable about Zoe and Nick this week. But their “chemistry” on stage was a driving plot point and ended up causing Billy and Zoe to split. Hashtag Dramz.

 

Carter, you just keep doing what you do, boo. (I really hope that shirt on the right is paisley.)

 

Oh hey, Grey! Yes, I love your industrial jewelry. No, it’s not too much. You’re Grey Chandler Murray. The belt? Um… I can live with it. You need some definition on a dress like that. What’s that? You couldn’t give a toss about my opinion? OK, fine.

 

There’s rarely an opportunity for male shirtlessness on JBD, but I did find some scruffy eye candy this week. Dakota, I’d love to see you after a few personality drinks. He dresses in formal carpenter wear and has a great beard – I’m sold. I’ll just have to get past the fact his name reminds me of an 8-year old girl.