Are twenty-something men the new designer drug? If so, these girls have a habit they just can’t quit. Carrie see-saws between 20-something Sam and 40-something Big, who keeps asking her out for a “thing”. Samantha falls in lust with a young hot chef named “Jon no ‘H'” and eventually calls it quits when she realizes that love with a younger man means she’ll always be the older woman. Miranda holds steady with her twenty-something Skipper, while sweet Charlotte is approached about her caboose. Yikes!

 

Big and Carrie keep bumping into each other all over Manhattan. It must be fate! After casually seeing each other at a bris (see? Beshert!), the decide they should meet for a “drink thing.” Obviously Mr. Big is a fan of Carrie’s crimson suit jacket. I bet he would have asked her out for a real date if she was able to get her hair in check.

Carrie seems really confused by the invitation for a “drink thing.” Is it a date? A friend date? What is going on?

 

Clearly distraught, she settles on fur and frizz for the evening. 

Helping her negotiate the uneasiness of her “thing” are Charlotte in a classic chocolate brown wool car coat  (love!) and Miranda, who appears to have a hot date with the law library. 

 

Watching Carrie check her answering machine (remember those?) makes me really happy for a variety of reasons:

1. I’m glad that I am married and don’t have to decipher voicemails from potential suitors. Even Miranda is stumped…or possibly annoyed because Carrie has been obsessing ad infinitum.

2. I am thrilled that we now have the ability to text. Waiting in line to check your machine? Nowadays we can unravel the meaning of our messages in private, as God and Steve Jobs intended.

 
3. The large fur coat is gone! It has been replaced with an adorable one shoulder LBD. Now that is what you wear for a “thing.” From the neck down, Carrie looks stunning and very current. But I’m still not sold on the hair, or the obsessing.

My feelings exactly, Miranda. Just you wait until 2003 or so. You’re going to love SMS!

 

Samantha is oozing over Jon (no “H”) the chef. This twenty-something chef is spending his restaurant opening in a dark corner getting flambéed with his sexy upper-thirties PR girl. Interesting move. Almost as interesting as his hair cut and Samantha’s royal blue shoulder padded suit. And by “interesting” I mean “disturbing”, on all accounts.

 

Since Big only showed up to their “thing” for about ten minutes, Carrie decides to dial down and mack with a  twenty-something. Enter Sam, Chef Jon’s friend. Sam is wild, fun, and has a tongue ring. He also knows “all of the important B people”- bartenders, busboys, and bouncers. Oh My!

Sam also knows a good leather jacket when he sees one. Ok, Carrie. I’m on board with this latest development.

 

The next morning, Carrie and Samantha trade war stories about dating quarter lifers while both wearing rather sexy negligees. Which do I love more? Carrie’s melon nightie, her chic eye mask, or her Zach Morris phone? It’s so hard to choose!

 

Actually, I think I prefer Samantha’s luxurious cream colored slip and silk robe. It is absolutely lovely. I bet she has matching marabou fur slippers and handcuffs. Just a hunch.

And did you notice she matches her phone? That is not an accident, my friends.

 

I think Carrie should stop thinking about guys and start thinking about ties…. particularly the skinny tie Miranda’s wearing. Holy 90s power dressing.

 

But seriously, Miranda is a better dressed man than all these guys in their twenties. Why all the hype? Particularly with these characters on the loose:

Let’s review. We have:
1) Guy with a horrible hat and a horrible attitude.
2) Guy who admires thirty-something women for their ability to go to third base and recommend fine wine.
3) Guy who dates older ladies because they remind him of his mom.
4) Skipper.

And Mr Underage, who can’t even vote.

I don’t know, ladies. I’d call those slim pickins’.

 

Undeterred by the lame-os in the park, Carrie skipped lunch with her editor to meet Sam at Banana Republic for a spot of shirt shopping. As a former Banana Republic employee, I will tell you that love bird shopping is quite common. Dates cozy up to each other near the denim wall or steal a kiss near the khakis all the time.

Oh, and look – they appear to be wearing coordinating autumnal tops from the 1998 Fall Preview line. How romantic.

 

Apparently they got carried away in the dressing room, what with all the by skinny mirrors, chinos, and fluorescent lighting. It happens.

 

“Excuse me, this isn’t the Gap!”

You tell ’em, fellow BR employee. If I were your manager, I’d back you up.

 

Post-dressing room make out session, Carrie is off to attempt #87 for a “thing” with Big. While the tight teal dress earns high marks, I’m still underwhelmed by the hair situation. Was this filmed during a particularly humid week in Manhattan?

 

But wait! The “thing” is derailed yet again, this time by an emergency call from Charlotte. 

This is not the type of discussion that should be had while wearing a silk blouse and cautious pencil skirt. Nor is it the type of conversation that should be had near a pile of taupe throw pillows and matching fresh flowers. No, this calls for the back of a cab. A dirty, dirty cab.

 

Safely ensconced in the back of a taxi, Charlotte lets slip: her boyfriend wants to let something else slip. Samantha is all for it! According to her a “hole is just a hole.” Miranda wonders if this relationship has a future. And Carrie – much to the chagrin of her cab driver – lights up a cigarette.

“Sir, we are talking up the butt. A cigarette is in order.”

 

Well, all that talk must have excited Carrie. She and her fur coat ran right to her twenty-something man, Sam.

But oh what terror we see upon the harsh light of day! Tip-toeing around through filth and mannequins, Carrie finds neither coffee nor a cleaning lady. Snaps to the set dressers for creating the most terrible apartment ever. I’ll bet that was fun.

Hmmm…. anything edible in the sink? I’ll pass.

 

The Pièce de résistance came in the restroom. No toilet paper, Carrie was forced to drip dry. This indignity is too much for her to bear.

Twenty-something guys come with twenty-something apartments. Noted.

 

The horrors of said apartment drove Carrie to some retail therapy, but it seems to have failed her, and me. These shoes are not making me feel better. In fact, the blue hue and stenciled flowers remind me of the apartment.

 

Fresh from her shopping spree, Carrie ran into Big and agreed to go on another “thing”. Truths: 1) she’s still in the fur coat, 2) he’s in a grey jacket, 3) they will probably never go on a “thing”.

You guys, dating is exhausting. Better to just marry the next person you see.