Miranda is invited to a dinner party and is shocked to discover that her date is a “modelizer” – a man who exclusively dates models (which I hope is not still a “thing,” for all our sakes). Carrie sets out to investigate this obsession with models while Samantha sets out, in typical Samantha fashion, to have sex with a famous modelizer and be filmed while doing it. Well. We all need goals, don’t we? Even Samantha Jones.

 

Miranda goes to Nick’s dinner party dressed in a super low-cut black top and a simple gold necklace.

Wow, Miranda is really not pulling any punches with that push-up bra. She looks very un-Miranda Season 1.

 

Unfortunately, that doesn’t last very long.

We are back to Miranda “I-Look-Like-A-Lesbian-But-I’m-Not-But-IRL-I-Am” Hobbes, who just HAS to button up her top button and NOT style her hair. It’s fine, WHATEVER GIRL.

 

One of Nick’s friends gives Nick an ultimatum in this cute lavender top and long black skirt, which actually looks sort of hipster (circa 2012).

Miranda finds out that Nick only asked her out because she’s not a model (no pressure or anything) and she can actually hold a decent conversation.

 

Not like these girls:

I’m actually really into this model’s floral jacket/cardigan, which has been accessorized with layered gold chains. She looks super cute for being, you know, super HOT.

 

The next model (who reminds me of Hanna from Pretty Little Liars) went a little crazy with her blond highlights and layered haircut. Also, boring orange top.

 

Nick’s friends tell Miranda how excited they are that she isn’t like all his model girlfriends. Can you say backhanded compliment?

Here’s a straightforward compliment: both of these tops are bright, colorful and very appropriate “small, intimate, dinner party” wear. Well done, ladies.

 

By the way, this is the guy with the model girlfriends:

Yeah. THIS guy.

 

Miranda divulges all the details to Carrie who wears a scoop neck long-sleeve over a white tanktop.

 

And of course, nothing is more Carrie than wearing the outfit you already wore that day, minus pants.

 

Carrie begins her investigation on models and we get to see a glimpse of New York model lifestyle.

These models are so perfectly 1990s that people should literally look to this screengrab for 90s theme party costume pointers. Cue the Ace of Base!

 

The girls gab over Chinese food in loungewear/workout gear/sleepwear. The slashes are necessary because I have no idea what they’re wearing.

Miranda just got back from the gym? I think? And Samantha was so excited for Chinese food that upon arriving she only managed to get her fur-trimmed sweater halfway off? Maybe?

 

Meanwhile, Charlotte is the nerdy school girl who just finished reciting the manifesto for the astronomy club. And Carrie is probably looking for her pants. Oops, that’s moo shu pork. Anyone see my pants?

 

Later, Miss Bradshaw throws on a simple blue v-neck to meet with Barkley, a notorious womanizer.

Yeah. THIS guy.

 

Her outfit is pretty mediocre until we see her super cute leopard print heels, which, devastatingly, only get three seconds of exposure. Still, glimmers of SATC to come, and all that.

 

Speaking of thing to come, Carrie meets up with Skipper, while wearing one of her most famous SATC pieces. This racoon fur coat:

If you look closely, you can see her “bloomers” style pants peeking underneath along with a pair of peeptoes. I guess her shins and feet are impervious to cold.

 

What else better to accessorize with a fur coat then a red crocodile clutch, a hotdog and the biggest cellphone known to man.

SO perfect.

 

Carrie gets invited to a fashion show by Stanford and dons this black bandeau dress and ridiculously versatile necklace. She wears it in three ways:

1. Around the neck, once.

 

2. Around the neck and a knot.

 

3. Around the neck multiple times.

Are these continuity errors, or does she just fiddle a lot?

 

Carrie runs into Big and tells him she is writing an article about modelizers.

“Oh cool. Carrie, this is my model girlfriend.”

 

“Yeah………… gotta go.”

 

Samantha saves a seat for Carrie at the front row of the runway show. With all that tweed and black fur, she looks like a cross between Cruella de Vil and Nancy Drew.

 

Fortunately (for all of us), Carrie learns two very valuable lessons. Beauty is fleeting and telling the guy you like where you like to drink coffee is a surefire way to get him to meet you there.

Also, pigtails and florals are still cute. Even on a 30-plus-year-old.