Before Gossip Girl and its coterie of partying New York fashionistas, there was Carrie and company. Carrie’s a thirty-something self-proclaimed New York partygirl and sexual anthropologist who uses her friends as research for her column. She’s flanked by her BFFs Charlotte, the WASP looking for Prince Charming, and Miranda, the lawyer with the cynical attitude. And of course Samantha, who’s given up on love and sates herself on sex with a different man every night.  In this first episode of Sex and the City, we meet the basic players, but it’s a far cry from the chic series we remember – Carrie talks directly to the camera (ouch), the shot quality is poor, leading to poor screencaps (double ouch, and sorry), and the fashions are beyond blah (the ouchiest of all).

 

Elizabeth is our introduction into this new world of New York dating politics, and unfortunately for her, it’s a rude awakening.

She has that snooty British appeal. Sure her dress and hair look simple, but take another glance and you’ll see not a strand out of place, and a dress that’s both a flawless fit and the perfect shade of melon. Best not to get too attached. We’ll never see her again after this episode.

Elizabeth’s problem isn’t that she doesn’t know how to accessorize a cocktail dress, but that she takes men at face value.

Tim should really appreciate that he’s found a New York woman who’s comfortable with color. You’ll discover later in the recap just how rare this is. But seriously, how summery sweet is Elizabeth’s yellow flowered shift dress?

 

Speaking of color, I might actually mug dear Liz for her turquoise sheath. The color, the halter neckline, the simple button embellishment? Tres chic.

 

Aaaand here’s where the train comes right off the track. Depressed at her ill fortune with Tim, Elizabeth retreats to her gray power suit, the costume of all bitter New York women. And with her happiness vanishes our last hope for color this episode.

 

Speaking of her erstwhile lover, hey Tim? When I said, “embrace color,” I wasn’t referring to a burnt orange tie.

 

A decent, if safe, choice. Tim simply doesn’t take the risk. Chuck Bass would have sniffed at tie and shirt pairing, but at this point, Chuck was, like, 7.

Although, if Tim’s an investment banker, there’s a chance he would have come across Bart Bass, and perhaps little Chuck, who even at the age of 7 would have known to politely ignore Tim at a cocktail party.

 

I don’t care if you slept in until noon, and it’s a weekend. That is never an excuse for such a schlumpy situation. If anything, this khaki tent is a red flag. Elizabeth should have known she could do better.

 

But enough of people we’ll never see again. Look, it’s Carrie, our sherpa to the wild ways of New York dating and fashion! Except she’s seemingly forgotten a large portion of her wardrobe–color.

Not sure what Carrie’s wearing under the baggy gray trench, but she looks a little walk-of-shame-esque.

 

That night, she sports a deep v-neck dress. It’s general drabness aside, I do like the cut. Half a point to Miss Bradshaw.

 

…but unfortunately it’s almost the exact same as this black wrap dress. Half a point deducted. Change it up, Carrie!

 

I am glad this isn’t a black v-neck dress, however, it’s more slut chic than New York chic. Leopard print corsets paired with a skin tight black skirt? We all expected better from you, Carrie.

 

Unsurprisingly, the two men in Carrie’s life like her outfits a lot better than I do.

First, there’s Kurt, a mistake that Carrie’s made many times before. No matter. Under the aegis of researching of having sex like a man, she uses and discards him.

Frankly, the man is so swarmy in his open-collared white shirt and douchehair, that he deserves everything she gives him. Which is exactly nothing.

 

Yep, any time a man wears a wifebeater under a suit jacket, they’re a legitimate douchebag.

 

On the other hand is Mr. Big, so-named because he’s supposed to be The Next Big Thing in New York real estate. Hey, I’ll bet he definitely knows Bart Bass!

Sorry, I’ll get off this whole GG/SATC crossover fantasy eventually.

While Tim the Investment Broker might not realize the importance of a well-coordinated suit, Mr. Big does. The pinstripe is glorious and I adore the pale gold diamond-patterned tie. He’s well put together and knows it.

 

Stanford is the last man in Carrie’s life and the only one she can’t do without: her gay husband.

He’s also the only character besides the fleeting Elizabeth who appreciates a good color palette. Love the lime green shirt paired with the darker emerald tie. And look at the subtle pattern on the tie! Gorgeous!

 

Remember Season Six Miranda, she of soft hair and makeup and flowing dresses? Rewind to Hard Ass Miranda, who’s devastatingly smart and more than a little bitter at the shortcomings of men.

Folks, she’s in a Serious Profession and wears Serious Clothes. Her blue pinstriped blouse might have been on a men’s rack in a different life, and she accessorizes it with a geometric silver necklace and earring set. There’s nothing soft about her…yet.

 

Another, even more masculine suit, this time it’s pinstriped, and another set of similar sleek silver jewelry. The hair is still severe, but honestly? I Love, love, love her hair here.

 

Skipper is another of Carrie’s resources for her column: the “nice guy.” He’s also kind of a geek, what with the web developer profession, glasses, and a truly awful haircut.

 

Between that hideous sweater and that hair, is it any surprise that Skipper isn’t getting lucky? Oh Skippy. I just want to take you shopping.

 

Hmm, perhaps Carrie did. This is better, but not by much. If you view him from the neck down, he might even be legitimate dating material.

Skipper commits the cardinal sin of dressing in khakis and a sport coat for going to a nightclub. I think he was aiming for preppy cute, but he ended up at on-a-break-from-prep-school. Or preppy geek? Whatever, he’s no match for Hard Ass Miranda.

 

Speaking of character types, Samantha is our sex kitten extroadinaire, and fulfills her trope by just being gorgeous.

Now this is how you wear a black dress. Maybe it’s her golden blond hair and the peaches and cream complexion, but she pulls of black with so much more aplomb than our Carrie. Samantha smartly accessories with a pair of retro pearl earrings and nothing else.

 

When the girls hit the town at Chaos, Samantha dons a navy (trust me) dress made of a sumptuous velvet. I’ll forgive you if you thought it was black. There’s just not much of it to see.

Really, if anyone can pull off the completely backless look it’s Samantha.

 

But wait . . .who is this?

Why, that’s Charlotte, our resident blue-blooded WASP, looking uncharastically sexy in her backless evening gown. Her updo is perfection, and the dangling earrings complete a truly spectacular look.

 

In fact, Charlotte is the only girl who really hits it out of the park this episode.  I shall demonstrate:

Simple, but cute enough that she’s a bit sexy librarian with her glasses. The khaki skirt is fairly basic, but I like that she pairs it with a fussier, more embellished lace blouse, complete with a chunky pearl necklace.

 

At Miranda’s birthday, she wears a sheer, patterned blouse and her hair in a sleek bob. I’ll admit, I forgot about Charlotte’s early-series bob.

 

Lastly, for her date with Capote Duncan, most eligible bachelor in New York, she pulls out all the stops.

Such an awful screencap, but I hope you can make out the shiny silver material of this gown. Frankly, it’s a little flashy for the Charlotte that we all know and love, but you can’t deny how beautiful she looks in it. It’s the one time this episode I completely condone the use of a neutral shade.

 

As for the man on her arm, Charlotte has snagged the un-snaggable Capote, bachelor extraordinaire.

Who can blame her? While Mr. Big has the aura of power around him, Capote is a certified ladykiller. Mere mortal women can’t resist.

 

But once the tux comes off, he too veers into smarmy territory, and the ladykiller buzz is off.

But Charlotte’s a good friend and generously donates her leftovers to Samantha. Good thing Sam knows just what to do with him…