This week on Ferris Bueller’s Day Off Jane by Design, we meet up with Jane and Billy two months after the adorable juvenile delinquent decalred “It’s you, Janie” and she was left standing there to make the choice between age-appropriate Billy and the design mole Jeremy. Turns out she didn’t make a choice because Billy ran away and then spent two months in juvie. Meanwhile Gray has been firing India replacements daily and now has to fill the position. Will it be our Jane? Or Gray’s nephew Eli with his Flock of Seagulls-esque hair? Nepotism wins this round! But only after Janie embarasses herself in front of the staff to show Billy she won’t quit high school for a full time job in fashion. And after all of this, Billy is weirdly pushing Jane away with the whole, “we’re totes BFF” excuse. I guess juvie changes you (but only a little bit…because he’ll still drop everything to save Janie). 

 

Jane, this episode is full of your most normal teen looks EVER. I mean, this jacket and tee? 

What? Super cute, but not even remotely off the wall or crazy. Having Billy in juvie must have changed Jane. 

 

Oh wait. No. It didn’t at all. Because daytime sequins a la Sutton Mercer is the worktime option for this girl. Although, I must admit, the daytime sequins are total sassypants and I wonder if it’s just the inside of the earlier jacket. Like a Day-to-Night Barbie.

 

The fashions of the local juvenile hall are not Billy’s friend.

How did he survive two months without skinny jeans and all his metal hardware?!? Poor guy.

 

Apparently they had hair gel available for him, so thank heavens for small mercies. Otherwise, the reunion with Jane wouldn’t have been quite so cute.

 

Looking almost normal teen girl again, Jane breaks out a denim jacket.

Her marks may be headed downhill at the speed of an Olympic luger, but the accessories? A+ for the bejewelled owl and the earrings. I’m even awarding full points for the red denim pants.

However, the giant silver platforms are how she keeps the outfit from being merely most-stylin’-girl in school to girl-with-most-impractical-shoes (the latter being the fourth book in the Girl with a Dragon Tattoo series).

 

Billy is back to being Billy, except for more feelings. I mean, A LOT of Feelings with a capital F. Just look at him brood!

So much happening. Feelings about being incarcerated (I assume). Feelings about Janie. Feelings about bitchy high schoolers snubbing him even more.

 

Feelings about this sweater set:

Those two belong together, for reals. They’re like preppy bookends.

 

When not going for tennis club chic in a cabled v-neck, Nick proves he is possibly most ensemblely challenged and boring dude ever by wearing his letterman jacket around.

 

How did Jane ever think they’d mesh? I mean, it’s almost a stretch for Lulu, seeing as she’s probably one of the few teens who own a snappy jacket for every occasion, including ones with a kicky peplum to it.

Again, how did Billy ever think they’d mesh? I bet she doesn’t even own any leather. 

 

Speaking of leather…Jane! The red leather with the leopard print tutu?

 

It’s kind of crazy bananapants, but in an awesome way. I just don’t know how you run in those outfits.

I guess you have to run when you get texts like this:

 

Seriously though. Someone from New York let me know if it’s possible to get from a suburban high school to Spring St in under a half hour. I guess that’s why she’s taken to keeping tutus in Ben’s filing cabinets.

Cute top. 

 

Speaking of adorably clueless Ben, he’s as schlubby as ever.

 

But somehow he makes it work. And it matches his girlfriend, the equally adorably clueless Rita Shaw.

 

That is possibly the most boring sweater ever. Rust colour isn’t your friend, Rita Shaw. At least not when it’s in the form of a bland v-neck. And that pencil skirt? It has potential to be cute, but instead, your sweater makes it frumpy. And if there’s one thing I learned this episode Rita Shaw, it’s that you’re super adorable. 

 

Awwww…sleepovers at Ben and Jane’s place!

 

Too bad they forgot to mention Billy likes to show up for breakfast.

Yeeeahhh. 

 

Rita Shaw does step it up later in the episode. Still looks like she works as an underpaid guidance counsellor in a public school, but so much better than the earlier sweater.

I want to know how many wrinkled jackets Ben owns. I feel like ABC Family gave him a sadsack closet instead of a magical closet. I can only assume this is true since they won’t even give him a smart phone. 

So hard to type in emergency texts on the now retro flip phone (although, it really hasn’t been that long since I thought my phone like that was pretty spesh). 

 

I super enjoy Rita Shaw’s choice in bags and they give me hope that she’ll take Ben shopping. At least for a phone.

It has her looking classy even when she’s irrationally hunting down one student (when I’m pretty sure there are other students in need of guidance).

 

On the subject of bags, I’m with Vesty on Jane’s choice in bags.

What is that? And why with the sequined jacket. Someone give the assistant the Birkin again.

 

And someone, for the love of pete, talk to Vesty about his style. Tone on tone tie and shirt with three piece suit. Really?

Yeesh. 

 

When you do speak with him, please ask him to buy a sweater or anything that is not a vest please. It’s just getting to be too much.

 

The person who really needs to talk to him is Carter. In two months, the dude has undergone a complete transformation from already stylish to super stylish with leather and a goatee.

 

And to knock staffer Anthony’s socks off, Carter may be headed to the land of the jaunty chapeau as a part of his ensembles.

One can only hope this hat trend continues on throughout the season.

 

And finally, Gray. Oh Gray. You want to knock Queen V of Revenge off her throne as reigning sheath dress wearer, but you just don’t do it.

No Gray, I’m sorry. The trouble is you don’t wear them tight enough and you choose the giant ass beads to wear. Seeing as you were formerly head of accessories, I expect a bit more from you. I am okay with your outfit though.

 

I mean, it’s a little out there, but you’re working it. It’s the perfect outfit to wear to survey your newly redecorated set kingdom office. Your super flamboyant throwaway character of a designer did a fantastic job on your office.

It’s too bad he wore checks that clash with your dress and over accessorized. 

Girlfriend might be trying to outdo Nolan Ross with the ascot/jaunty neckerchief look, but it falls flat on that front. His outfit would have been a little less intense on the retinas if Gray had been wearing a solid colour.

 

Although, not the black lace on one shoulder number.

That feels more like après work cocktails than what you wear to announce your nephew is the new hire.

 

Although, I highly doubt he’ll fill India’s shoes.

Because no one can fill those bitch shoes quite so well as she can. And something tells me she’s going to be extra bitchy now that she’s working for Harrod’s and the Donovan Decker staff need to impress her instead of the other way around.

Bitch is back and she’s got a super new job and haircut. And a Birkin. I don’t know that I’d bounce back from being fired for corporate espionage so well. I’d still be in comfy pants eating nachos and ice cream.  Well played, India. Well played.