In the season finale of Apt 23, June, who grew up as a high school nerd, finally gets to party with The Cool Kids (a.k.a. Chloe’s crowd). Unfortunately, she realizes that the only thing she has in common with Chloe is booze, which doesn’t really help when she gets alcohol poisoning and has to have her stomach pumped (yikes). Chloe finally shows some vulnerability when 1) we discover she has a strong fear of losing relevance as the It Girl and 2) we discover that she NEVER WEARS UNDERWEAR. Though, if these are the ways to get a graphic novel based on you, who am I to judge?
We open with a flashback of a super nerdy June in high school. Like, OF COURSE, she was the school mascot. And, OF COURSE, she had head gear. And, OF COURSE, her hair was crimped and all over the place. This is actually the first time I’m not jelly of June’s hair:
I still love that fact that the color of her hair matches the color of her woodchuck costume.
She’s come so far since then. Here she is looking hot/cute/sexy in this red dress (and her, per usual, perfect hair):
Love all the gold accents!
She is now part of the “in-crowd” and meets Chloe for drinks, who looks super fab in curls and a glittery black dress.
Unfortunately, it takes a lot of work to keep up with Chloe:
I always thought “alcohol poisoning” was one of those things that you couldn’t make fun of. Like 9/11 and Katrina. But they really pulled it off in this episode:
Sure, June looks pathetic in her wheelchair and puke covered hair, but she still looks so darn cute. If I ever get alcohol poisoning, please God let me be wearing a sexy red dress and gold heels.
Chloe and James wait at the hospital, both looking perfect for June stomach pumping. James wears a black velvet blazer and a maroon henley while Chloe dresses day-to-night ready… as always.
I love this outfit! Sure, her skirt is a littttttle too short for a hospital and her boots are allllllmost hooker boots, but she just looks like she’s having so much fun. And that’s not easy to pull off in a hospital waiting room.
And she’s wearing BLUE. Not black or navy or a dark, dark, blue that is basically black. BRIGHT, COBALT BLUE.
June, adamant to get back into Chloe’s circle, researches her limitations for drinking after getting alcohol poisoning. I don’t know how or why, but that laptop skin really brings her otherwise incredibly boring outfit together.
Does June just have a bunch of Old Navy button-downs in different colors that she rotates?
SO OVER IT, JUNE… I know what you’re trying to do with that taupe Marc by Marc Jacobs bag. But even Marc can’t save this look.
…But these boots can:
I love these! They’re “big-city” enough for the city but “small-town” enough for June.
June discovers that there is a graphic novel collection based on Chloe called Shitagi Nashi or “Tall Slut No Panties.” She confronts Chloe about it who pretends like she doesn’t care.
“What? Seriously, I don’t.”
This is a pretty typical Chloe outfit (black blazer, black top, red heels). And didn’t JBVD wear this same v-neck-vest-blazer combo last week? Come on, guys, step it up. Just because you’re an ABC comedy doesn’t mean you can slack off in the fashion department.
Chloe also pretends she doesn’t care June can’t drink, and takes her “bowling”… as in “doesn’t-take-her-bowling-but-takes-her-to-a-bar-instead”:
I love June’s bowling outfit. I mean, as much as I love her pink bathrobe.
And… as much as I love her running outfit:
I don’t know if any of these outfits would actually be that cute if she weren’t cute. But I love the purple top and matching running shoes. And I LOVE LOVE LOVE Mark’s yoga pants. #waitwhat
Back at The Creek, James gets first pick of his Dancing with the Stars dressing room. Unfortunately, Luther picks the room that is six inches smaller than guest star, Dean Cain’s.
Sigh. Must be nice to have such a “1% Problem.”
Can we take a mo’ to look at Luther’s outfit? A green/purple floral/paisley/tie dye button down with a gray vest, black panel down the middle, and polka dot back. I don’t even– I don’t– #waitwhat
James almost fires Luther for his dressing room mistake. Fortunately, Luther steps up his fashion game in this red velvet blazer and sun print button-down:
At a bar, June meets Patrick Kelly, the creator of Shitagi Nashi, and convinces him to stop following Chloe around like a pathetic loser. As June scolds him, she realizes that she does the exact same thing (i.e. following Chloe aound).
In response, Patrick makes a new graphic novel called, “Strong Bowling Girl Who Talks A Lot.” That pisses Chloe off, who looks amazing in her casual updo and semi-conservative (for her) silver hoops.
I don’t know how she does it. She can pull off ANYTHING.
I don’t know WHAT is the deal with this outfit. Like, I get it, Chloe, I get it. You’re trying to mix darks, sparklies and glitteries. But it is not working here. Not even for you.
No wonder Patrick changed muses.
This also might have been another reason:
Do you think there’s someone on set just setting strands of her hair into perfect places?
JBVD interrupts the fight in a black biker jacket and a gray v-neck. He explains to June that because of Chloe’s It Girl status, the graphic novels are a way for her to keep from becoming obscure.
Why is it that he always has the “end-of-a-90s-television-episode-moral-lesson” insight in this show?
Realizing that she made a huge mistake, June makes her own graphic novel of Chloe in this bright, green sweater:
Chloe can’t contain her excitement and removes the only colorful thing in her entire outfit:
Now free of panties and obscurity, Chloe is back to being herself, a.k.a. The B**** in Apartment 23, a.k.a. Tall Slut No Panties. Since episode one, June and Chloe have grown to be real friends, and Chloe doesn’t seem to be as horrible as she was before.
Though, she still likes to show off her cooch:
I guess some things never change. Shitagi Nashi, everyone!!!