Wait a minute – this is the guy that’s striking fear into the hearts of our Revengers (!!!)? I’m sure he’s connected to some evil corporation that’s got fingers in pies on a LOST-like scale, but I can’t look at this guy without thinking of that awful Jet Li movie from 2001 where our White Haired Man played Jet Li’s BFF. Totes Hilar. Also, that blue is not discreet. That’s like… Accountant Azul.

 

Though it was only visible for a moment, Nolan’s gingerbread sweater fetish was in full swing this week. You have to hand it to the Revenge wardrobe department – they consistently find the right sweater shirt combo that would make most people say, “oh hell no”. The colours are spot on matches and our love for Nolan Ross deepens a little further. 

 

OK, now that Emily and Nolan have tracked the White Haired Man, she’s slipped into her G.I. Joe garb complete with knife/boot accessory. Like ZZ Top said, she’s got legs and she knows how to use them.

 

In the background of the in-your-face dramz this week, there was an even more emotional storyline happening. True moment: I read the synopsis for the show and it said, “Jack and Emily deal with a devastating loss”. Naturally, I figured Sammy would be the dying character… but it still didn’t steel me enough against the sadness. Like, ALL the sadness. Jack doesn’t change out of this grey sweater it seems but can you blame him?

 

Yup, not suspicious at all, Emz. I’m impressed that you were conscious enough to put on make-up before you went a’stalking. What else can I say here? Black shoes, shirt, coat, pants, gloves – girl is ready for a B’n’E like it’s her job.

 

Man, Aunt Carol just has a way of showing up, huh? Nolan obviously didn’t get his sense of style from her. What is with that scarf? It looks like a peacock was crushed by a cartoon safe. Plus, she’s wearing it in that mom-ish way. You know, the way that was trendy about 7 years ago? Also, just throwing this out there – if she says she’s Emily’s mother at the end of the series, I’m out.

 

Nolan? With a ‘stache? Well, I shouldn’t complain, at least it’s a disguise. We’re back to the Revenge (!!!) we all know and love: over the top situations that can be resolved using wigs and coveralls.

 

Since Nolan did a big boy job on fooling the White Haired Man, he celebrated by calling Emily in his most inspired sweater yet. Take a gander at them colours y’all. It’s all about the pastel colours. On the left, he’s added a grey blazer with pink pocket square which is totally swoon worthy. On the right, Nolan’s rocking Casual Friday with not one, but two under-sweater shirts. Please don’t stop the music, yo. 

 

Oh yes. When I have a son and want to use him as a pawn to ruin my ex-husband’s life, I’m totally going to walk around in this little number. Elegant as always, I’m saying this only one time: Victoria Grayson is the Bette Davis for 2012 (on a primetime network television drama). She’s ruthless, sexy, hilarious, quick and she’ll step on your neck. All while looking flaw free. 

 

Quick note: since Charlotte can’t stand her family, and caught her boyfriend with a strange girl, she’s rang up her dealer. Odd that he runs his business out of a lopsided lair like old Batman villains.

 

While Charlotte is travelling down the sad path to relapse alone, Jack and Emily are huddled around poor Sammy. Real moment time: I wept over this scene. The emotions. Jack’s crying. Emily’s a wreck. Then the sad music with the puppy footage? I mean, why didn’t you just throw salt in my eyes, ABC? Heartbreaking. 

 

And just so we’re all ruining the edges of our seats for another week, they end with a shot like this.

 

COME ON. Next week is our last episode and recapped by none other than our Revenge (!!!) Editor, Ann! See you then, bitches.