As in every teen dramedy, the villains are the cheerleaders. McKinley High’s squad is the Cheerios, headed by *cough* virgin queen *cough* Quinn Fabray. She’s dating Finn.

Yes, Quinn is with Finn. Gag.

 

As well as a girlfriend and an endless polo shirt collection, Finn also has a best friend, Puck. Noah Puckerman is a playboy with a mohawk and a cougar fetish, which you don’t see that often.

 

Speaking of never-ending polo shirts, football coach Ken Tanaka is a snappy dresser. He often matches his sports socks to his wide array of polos – the one with red piping is actually quite acceptable, as is the blue. Beige shows sweat marks, and acid-mustard-yellow-puke is just nasty.

 

Ken’s crush is the squeaky clean (due to her OCD) guidance counsellor Emma Pillsbury, whose outfits fill me with glee. Look at those dinky beads.

 

The gorgeous blend of buttercup, lemon and mustard accessorised with a pop of orange…

 

Large buttons and short fawn sleeves over a deep blue shirt are a bang on colour combination of nude and dark.

 

White cuffs and collars add a starched, sexy touch to brown.

 

And just when you think it can’t get any better, Emma wears a black and purple plaid coat over a beautiful pussy-bow tie-neck dress. She’s like a ginger female Mr Darcy.

 

I want this blouse. The gold buttons on the neck and sleeves, the rich colour, the asymmetry of the side tie-neck…Emma adds a gold watch and ring for perfect accessorising.

 

This colour is very good for her.

 

In a stunningly horrible foil to Emma’s excellent sartorial choices and innate goodness, sadistic cheerleading coach Sue Sylvester lives and dies in Adidas tracksuits. I guess red suits her, but that’s the only good thing I have to say about this outfit.

 

Who knew black tracksuits could be glamorous? No one, that’s who, because it’s impossible.

 

I know for a fact that Jane Lynch has blue eyes, by becoming Sue makes them satanic and red (in my mind). I therefore cannot compliment this lovely shade of sky blue for making her eyes pop.