OMG, I literally forgot how much I loved this show. How I missed crazy, soapy plotlines; the threat-filled stares; Victoria’s slutty ways; and, of course, the fashion. The return was no disappointment. While Daniel is in jail, the whole fam is working out some convoluted story to prove his innocence. Little Charlotte’s drug problem is revealed by the return of the wine cooler-loving Mason Treadwell. Victoria has an encounter with only what I can assume is an old flame (how many ex-lovahs does this woman have?!). And then there’s Emily, faking nice to Queen V with a side of ass-kicking–she is just the coolest.

 

I swear Emily always has the most appropriate outfit on for every occasion. Unlike Victoria who believes that body-con bandage dresses are for daily-wear, Emily knows that a cute top, cardigan and jeans is the go-to for planning out one’s REVENGE (!!!)

 

Point #2: Sylish and sophisticated for a quickie visit to the jail. Because really, who would wear a skin-tight black dress with gobs of costume jewelry? Oh wait, that’s Victoria. 

Similar look, perf for: 1) being all no-nonsense like
2) channeling Katherine Hepburn
3) visiting your man in jail –>

 

 

And then BAM, when your possible-murderer fiance returns home, Emily knocks it out of the park with this shoulders out and waist-cincing gorgeousness of an outfit. She just struts right into the foyer like she owns the place. 

 

Well, hello brown wig. But honestly, what can’t this girl pull off? The dark hair and bangs works for her–and apparently worked for mystery man as he was more than eager to take her home. 

How was he not expecting what came next? 

 

Punch. Punch. Kick. Kick. You’re unconscious. If there was any doubt left in your mind that Emily is not the coolest chick you know, this scene confirms it. 

 

So I’m no fan of Victoria Grayson. 95% of the time I absolutely hate what she wears. She usually has no concept of day, time, her age, or any other factors she should be considering when dressing. That being said, this may acutally be my favorite dress Victoria has worn. I’m not quite sure if I approve of her visible bra–but the cut is flattering and the color/print is unobtrusive enough for daytime. 

 

“Oh no, what have I done? I got my son beaten up and now my hot, foreign ex-lover is buying me a drink. What do I do?! Maybe I shouldn’t have worn so many necklaces!”

In all seriousness: how long is that string of beads? Is it one strand that she has expertly rearranged four or five times to look like completely new necklaces? Did she stash different variations in her purse because obviously carrying a change of clothes would be just too weird…

 

Even when she’s dressed in a bedsheet in some random dude’s loft (random to us, apparently not to her), she still has a necklace on! 

 

I absolutely love that Victoria flew into the room with the same clothes on from the previous day. I know Conrad made a comment about it–but it would have been amazing if Emily made a snide remark about Vicky’s walk of shame that morning. I suppose Emily is just too classy for that kind of put-down ::sigh::

 

The slap heard ’round the Grayson mansion. Wasn’t the execution of this slap so perfectly coordinated? Charlotte’s hair flying around her head; Victoria’s angry yet regretful look on her face. 

 

As I was watching this scene, I immediately thought, “What a fabulous coat, why is this the first time I’ve noticed a coat as fabulous as this on this show?” Then I realized that for the most part, it has been summer and there is no need for coats.

 

All I can say is thank god this is not a bandage dress, but does Queen V ever wear anything that is not skin-tight?