WELCOME BACK, SHOW!! So, Daniel’s in jail and everybody in The Hamptons is either trying to prove his innocence or Jack/Fauxmanda’s guilt. Queen V gets a big gold star for CRAZY as she sets up her house like a police station, complete with a personal sketch artist. You know, because the real police are just so bourgeois. Declan dips his toes into the land of scheming, selling out Charlotte to remove Jack as a suspect in Tyler’s murder. Nolan wears, I think, a turtleneck inside of a popped collar. And Emily? First, she brings Mason Treadwell back to town entirely just to frame Queen V for torching his house. Then, she wears a crazy wig and totally beats up the guy who beat up Jack!! REVENGE (!!!)
Like every week, Queen V is at the core of Emily’s wrath. They’re BFFs for like, half a scene as they both worry about Daniel, but then Emily swiftly frames Queen V for Mason’s house fire after finding out Mommie Dearest organized Daniel’s jail attack.
Gala of the Week
A party for two, wearing nothing but sheets and ginormous necklaces in Casa de Queen V’s Ex-Lovah!
Emily continues channeling 1950s socialite glamour, strutting through jail in separates to DIE FOR.
Most Soapy Moment
Queen V’s ex calls her by her maiden name, buys her a drink, shoves her up against a wall and then spends the night making sweet, sweet love to her – like, five seconds after she found out the extent of the injuries Daniel sustained in the attack (that she totally caused). Play on, playa.
Over-the-Shoulder Hugs: 0
Seriously, none! Everybody’s so angsty this week, nobody had time to hug while looking ominously over someone’s shoulder. Too much going on!
Kate gets to try and make sense of this week’s crosses and double-crosses and double-double crosses. Check back on Saturday!