Doesn’t the title of this episode sound like the latest Tarantino movie? Don’t worry – no bachelorettes were harmed in the making of this episode (unless you count wearing a Pepto-coloured sparkly shirt a crime). Anyhoo, Lemon and her girls embark on her bachelorette party. Luckily, her 14-year-old sister was smart enough to realize that Lemon’s original plan was going to be super-boring and booked a super-trashy stripper bus instead. Her dad was in Animal House – I’m pretty sure he’d be proud. Lemon and Lavon’s big secret was finally revealed, Zoe gets a date with another cute guy, and both the bachelorette/bachelor parties end up ruined. Great foreshadowing with the “and Bullets” part of the title, HoD writers.

 

Zoe wore what I would say is one of her cutest outfits to date. It’s a good thing it was cute because she literally wore it for the entire episode (for reals – ONE OUTFIT):

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I love me a brightly coloured pair of pants. And I love the pairing with the neutral trenchcoat, purse and wedge boots.

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THE WEDGES!! #so #cute And, I wished I lived in a city where I could wear my trench artfully tied behind my back, providing a nice waist cinch, but alas, it rains about every five minutes where I live. Interestingly, this coat is sort of a cross between a hoodie and a trench (am I wrong, or does crossing anything with a hoodie automatically up the comfort factor by, like, a thousand?). And I love that this outfit is trendy, yet classic.

I gotta ask though, Zoe, why do you always carry a top-handled bag? I mean, just because you’re a small-town doctor doesn’t mean you have to carry around one of these! And isn’t it annoying to not have your hands free? Doesn’t it get hard to stick your hands into everyone’s business when you only have one available?

It has a strap, ya know.

 

Anyway, back to the rest outfit – check out the polka-dot blouse with front-ruffle!

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I also love me some polka-dots. And a ruffly blouse. And natural, smooth waves. This is exactly how I want to look on a daily basis. Well, minus the worried facial expression. This expression is courtesy of her conversation with George wherein she not only learns that he saw Lavon and Lemon kissing, but also lies and tells him that Lavon was at home all night (and therefore could NOT be drinking and kissing someone else’s fiance at the Rammer Jammer).

 

Things look up when Zoe gets a date with a cute new patient named Jesse.

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Dang. I’d like to bandage him up good, if yaknowwhatImean *wink-nudge*. You know, for a small town, Bluebell sure has a lot of cute, eligible men up in it! Of course, if I looked like Dr. Hart I’d probably have cute boys coming in my door every day, too. Keep up the realism, CW!

 

Meanwhile, it’s time for Lemon’s extremely boring bachelorette party – yahoo!! You know it’s not going to go well when your ex-buddy shows up in a better outfit than you:

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Bravo, Annabeth – you are rockin’ that green jacket (although the material looks a bit like astroturf) and floral skirt. Not to mention the 40’s waves and smug smirk.

 

Although, Annabeth’s outfit doesn’t really say “bachelorette party” to me. I’m getting more of an “afternoon tea in the garden with grandma” message. Still, at least it’s colourful, which is more than I can say for Lemon’s ensemble:

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Oh Lemon, Lemon, Lemon. Why do you insist on dressing like either a grandmother or a little girl? This is sort of a mix of both – little girl gold babydoll dress with bow, topped with a nubby long old lady coat. And white tights?! Who are you, Alice? Well, this ain’t Wonderland, baby – you’re in Alabama now. While AnnaB’s outfit says garden party, Lemon’s says Easter Sunday church service.

 

And this does not look like church.

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The boys at George’s bachelor party are not even worth mentioning in the style department. Plaid. Denim. And this unfortunate sweater on cutie Tom:

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Dear God, Tom. What is this?! Even PETA would throw a can of paint on that horrid jacket.

 

I know you love animals and all, but do you really need to wear them on your sweater? There’s a way to do quirky sweaters right, and sporting an animal’s butt on the back is not it:

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Even WADE is lecturing you about this look! And he’s wearing a lumberjack coat and carrying a gun! (Note to our American readers: we Canadians do NOT dress like lumberjacks. Nor do we dress like this).

 

Sigh. I’m too exhausted from all the bad fashion and drama to go any further with this recap. In a nutshell, pretty much everyone is mad at Zoe right now, George is now back on the market, and clearly I need to move to Bluebell because that’s where all the cute boys are. Also? Everyone needs to stop wearing heavy coats and sweaters and tights – you live in Alabama!

What do you think? Will Lemon and George get back together? Will Zoe end the season single? Will Lemon stop dressing like an old lady?