Serena’s spent her first week as Gossip Girl hitting the delete key in an attempt to bury the dirt about herself, but an impatient GG warns Serena she’s about to lose her privileges. So, S sets up Lola as the next UES It-Girl to deflect attention off herself. Lola fits perfectly into Serena’s trap as she gets jealous over the newly-back Diana and agrees to model at a lingerie fashion show. Meanwhile, Nate is having his own power struggles with Diana over the Spectactor, and Chuck is torn between looking for Elizabeth and letting her go. Blair’s so sad about not being a princess anymore that she snaps Chuck’s head off and tells him that they can’t be friends. Of course, that’s when Dan drops the bomb that Chuck paid for her dowry. After much soul-searching, Blair thanks Chuck, and leaves him to play out her fantasies one last time as a Princess on the Met Steps. On the Ivy vs Lily front, Lily lures Ivy out of the apartment with a fake cashier’s check, and then steels the much-desired pad out from under her. Rufus is appalled that Lily’s acted like Lily, and refuses to return to the UES with her. Haven’t we been through this before?

Blair, recipient of her freshly printed divorce papers, celebrates with Dorota in this puke-green coloured robe.

It doesn’t matter if its printed with roses if they look like died and putrified on the fabric.

The costume department’s been dressing Blair about twenty years too old all season, and at first glance, this pink and purple printed dress is a wonderful change to a younger, lighter Blair.

Of course, she’s still set on making herself look matronly with the hair and the makeup.

But really, this is a really cute, summery look.  I love the patterned flowers and the full skirt.

Even that pink trench is adorable.

Blair should really stick to color.  Black dresses shaped like sacks are not her friend.

It doesn’t matter if they’re sequined.  They still look terrible.

Even worse is her pathetic hair.  I find it hard to believe that Dorota would ever let Blair out of the penthouse sporting this sad braided updo.

That’s the kind of sad, messy braid Serena would try to pull off at a formal event, not Queen B.

 

As for Princess Blair Waldorf Grimaldi’s finale, she wears an appropriately ruffled pink dress.

I’m not sure I understand the coat on top of it.  After all, Serena goes waltzing around Manhattan in barely-there skirts and nearly-invisible blouses and the cold never seems to get to her.  Maybe this is confirmation of her Upper East Side android status.

All snarking about her cupcake dress aside, Blair really does look beautiful here.

Cubic zirconia and all, she’s a total princess.

As for her Lonely Boy, I keep hoping that his change of mates will mean a change of style.

Apparently not.

Confession:  Dan’s hair is reaching terrifying levels.  When it has reached the point of falling in locks over his forehead unless its slicked greasily back, that means it needs to be cut.  End of story.

Ah, plaid.  The Humphrey standard.  If Blair lets Dan have his way, she’ll end up with 800 count Egyptian cotton plaid sheets on their bed and a plaid gown for events.

The very least Blair can do, if she is going to take a side trip to Brooklyn, is make sure Dan’s suits are adequately fitted.  This is just hanging on him, and sacre bleu, his shirt is not even tucked in.  He’s Nate circa St. Jude’s!

Now is it really fair to compare Dan to the other side of this isosceles triangle?

Probably not.  Chuck has a lot of money to spend on looking his best.

That fact alone begs the question . . .why would he wear this?

Good god.  He looks like a cross between the Gerber baby and a lobster.

Is it any improved from a back viewing?

Emphatically no.

I think I might need lasik after this episode.

Luckily, Chuck remembers he’s a businessman, not a punchline, and changes into one of his dapper suits.

That muted purple paisley tie is so sumptuous looking, with the faint sheen.  And it’s perfectly matched (of course) to Chuck’s gray pin-striped suit.

Chuck stays true to his favorite shade for the lingerie party, feeling right at home in a lilac-striped shirt with a complementing purple tie.  It’s not terribly imaginative, but it sure is effective.

As for Lily and Rufus, rusticating in Brooklyn, their current location clearly favors one over the other.

I’ll give you two guesses who and one doesn’t count.

I supposed if you’re going to wear a medallion the size of a breast plate, you’d best pair it with a solid neutral blouse.  Unfortunately Lily also goes for one with beading on the bottom.

She’s clearly starving for Upper East Side luxury and this is her cry for help. Rufus!  Help put an end to her suffering!

Unfortunately Rufus doesn’t see that anything’s wrong.  In fact, he’s dug out some of the clothes Lily wouldn’t let him bring to her luxurious penthouse apartment.  He’s happy as a clam in one of his ugly plaid shirts that just came out of a dusty cardboard box.

Is it any surprise, then, that Lily returns to her fabulous apartment? Or that she would look glamorous doing so?

Love your bag, darling!  And that winter white sweater is flawless with your skin.

Rufus, on the other hand, has never seemed more stuck in Brooklyn.

There’d be at least one tear shed in sympathy, except for that godawful suitcase/backpack that should never again see the light of day.

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