Hello, sunshine! Can you imagine what kind of day you’d have when you’re greeting by THIS in the morning?

Well, that’s what Jess woke up to thanks to a visit from Nick’s law school pal Dirk. Yeah. It’s a wonder she didn’t throw up all over her cute pajamas.


But Jess had more important things to worry about than a douche house guest. Last night’s date with Russell (Fancyman) had ended…weirdly. With a pat on the back. But at least she looked cute?

I love that dress, and the red shoes add a great pop of color. Forget the pat on the back – I want to give her a high five!


Jess consulted with CeCe about the incident and decided to take the reins and call Russell for another date. This is 2012, after all!

Um, can we talk about Jess’s adorable outfit there? Let’s zero in on the bow-print top.

Cute! But not sophisticated enough for Hunky Dad, in my opinion.


Jess needed to step it up for her second date, and she brought it with this gorgeous Lydia Halter Dress by Milly. Foxy!

Unfortunately, Russell got an emergency text during dinner and had to bail. Always a gentleman, he threw a wad of bills down on the table – plus an extra hundred for a cab.


This recapper would have taken that cash straight to the shoe store, but Jess was majorly bummed. Which is how she ended up like this:

Yikes. But eventually, Jess ended up like this:



Bonus! I know this is called “What Jess Wore”, but I feel like checking in on Jess’s pals. They were up to some shenanigans this week. Shelby was heading off for a trip to Mexico, wearing a cute nautical stripes dress that probably had fellow YKYLF writer L-A drooling.


Nick’s friend was a total douche. He thinks he’s a poet and wears scarves.


But young college girls are into the look, and they like Nick, too. He’s a bartender. That means he can get (underage!) girls drunk professionally.

These girls are WAY too young for you, Nick! But more nautical stripes for L-A to admire.


Meanwhile, CeCe hurt Schmidt’s feelings when she said she was the boss of their relationship. That makes him the sexcretary. He said no to this:

OK, gorgeous top and love the belt – but maybe not super sexy.


But then he said no to THIS:


That means he was really mad. He didn’t even forgive CeCe when she dressed up as a sexcretary for him.


OK, maybe because that outfit was hideous and it came from the lost and found from the gym. So to make amends, she had sex with him in his #3 fantasy location – the back of his car. The very car that Winston “borrowed” to go see Shelby. Which is how they ended up like this at the Mexican border:

Embarrassing, but I’m sure border patrol agents have seen it all.


So what did you guys think of “Fancyman, Part 2”? Is Jess sophisticated enough for Russell? Should she be more careful about side boob in that purple dress?