Reformed Wicked Witch Georginia is back in town (with Chuck in tow), ready to spread the good news–and help take down Poppy and Gabriel and their nefarious scheme. Chuck and Nate continue to pee on Blair, hoping that eventually it will stick and she’ll pick one of them. Meanwhile, Lily’s developed enough affection for plaid shirts that Rufus decides to propose, but he finds something that gives him pause.

 

Bella has already analyzed and found Blair’s green and gold wallpaper sack to be excrutiatingly unappealing.  It’s a good thing, then, that she dons this bright yellow empire-waisted coat to hide it.

If only those buttons ran the full length of the coat and we didn’t have to see any of the montrosity below.

Wallpaper dress aside, B’s outerwear continues to be stellar this episode.

Her double-breasted cream coat is so luxurious and I love the touches of baby blue and teal she adds with the scarf and patent leather bag.  Golf claps for the nice departure from her usual primary colors.

What’s underneath? Why, more pastels!

The blouse is floral and romantic, though the strand of pearls is a bit much, as is the bow atop her pink pencil skirt.  The entire outfit is a few shades past the twee-line.  All in all, she could give Michelle Williams a run for her money.

But Blair knows that pastels aren’t right for every occasion. When it’s time for the takedown, she’s back to saturated colors with this gorgeous clingy black dress, with lace inserts at the collar.

Can I also add that her hair is beyond stunning?

The one wrinkle in Blair’s sartorial perfection is pairing her black dress with this blue coat.

The coat itself is typical Blair outerwear perfection, but I’m not certain it works all that well with the black dress.  Something more dramatic and less school-girl might have been better suited.

Chuck rocks the multi-pattern suit and shirt with a purple tie accent.  Gabriel could take a few lessons from Chuck’s style–but then so could the rest of the Gossip Girl men.

 

His camel greatcoat is amazing.  I love how it swirls around him as he stalks towards his prey Blair.

Just as Blair falls back on her standards for the Poppy/Gabriel takedown, Chuck pulls out the most potent weapon in his arsenal:  the purple suit.

On anyone else, this would look like Willy Wonka on Celebrity Apprentice, but Chuck can work this like nobody’s busines.

His rival, Nate Archibald, just can’t do what Chuck does so effortlessly:  dress well.

Case in point:  this super bland navy and gray sweater.  Is he hot?  Undoubtedly.  He’s just not that interesting.

And I’ll admit, he can pop a collar like a pro, but the blue phase still has its hooks in him.

Speaking of blue, Serena sure loves her an oversized scarf, shown here in peacock.  It’s not quite equal to her love of sequins, but it’s close.

 

But just like her buddy B, what’s underneath her coat is not nearly as attractive.  Maybe if she’d left that ugly wrinkled grayish cardigan and kept to the blush t-shirt and dark jeans, she would have been fine.  I do like the pop of color with the necklace.

The necklace isn’t the only jewelry that Serena’s rocking, though–Lily gifts S with an insane diamond bracelet passed down from her great-grandmother.

New plan: blind Gabriel and Poppy with bling!

But as we all know, diamonds are as natural to Serena’s as breathing.  Diamonds and sequins, bien sur.

Only Serena would wear a fully-sequinned jacket during the day, and with a plain striped t-shirt no less.

So then is it any surprise that she also wears a sequinned mini-dress to the takedown?  Of course not.  But I will add that I love the openworked gold sequins that cover it–it brings to mind chainmail, almost.  Does this mean that Serena is our modern-day Joan of Arc?

And very smart of her, Serena makes sure to keep her macaron under wraps with a pair of black tights.

Georgina arrives back in New York in a Jesus Camp t-shirt and girlish braids.  Blair works her magic, though, and turns her into a naive, but rich heiress new to New York and eager to “help” Poppy with her investment.

You can’t judge this outfit based on the usual fashion tenets.  After all, it’s a clever costume designed to be a ruse for Poppy–and on that level it succeeds beautifully.  Would I ever applaud anyone for wearing this ridiculously twee purple shift dress with that ugly gold chain detailing?  Not on your life.  But for what it’s meant for, it works.  The ugly black tights and the crowning headband round out the deception.

Poppy and Gabriel, the terrible twosome, are surprisingly less chic than you would expect for con artists located on the Upper East Side.

I do love Poppy’s choppy bob haircut.  It’s wonderfully flattering for the lines of her face, and the gold accents she’s wearing bring out the brown tones of her eyes and the shade of her hair.  But that blouse is pure fail.  It looks like a dingy flour sack.

 

Question:  is the actress playing Poppy suddenly pregnant?  Because she’s hiding a Lily van der Woodsen-size baby bump under that bright blue tunic.

As for Gabriel, he continues his boring Brooks Brothers routine.  At least he’s willing to commit to shades other than robin’s egg blue.  Otherwise, Nate might have a new frenemy on the block.

Ohhh, you know what? I think I know the reason he’s embezzling all this money. It’s to pay for the most important thing of all: tailoring.

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