This week on Some Kind of Wonderful Bring it On Jane by Design, the collection for NYFW is in peril because someone leaked that Marie Antoinette shit to Beau Braun. While they’re all pointing fingers, I think they forgot to notice that he just waltzed on in to see the collection for himself. But Jane saves the day with a last minute inspiration from Billy: be true to yourself and take it punk. Meanwhile, Billy is facing time because he’s way too loyal to his nogoodnik brother, Ben has got a serious case of the Disappointments (good work Jane), and Billy is just figuring out that he’s totally butt crazy in love with Jane.

 

Oh Billy, you’re so good at saving Jane from certain peril, so why not save yourself from your bro’s stupid plans?

I will say, you’ve got the cutest mug shot evah. And I love the colours you worked with this episode. Forest green and a burgundy? Well done Billy.

So glad you’ve given up on what Jane calls “preppy douchey Billy”, even if it would help your case in front of Judge Lulu’s Dad.

 

But bonus points for getting to meet Vanilla Ice while in the slammer.

Because that’s the only way I can explain that hair from 1991 on the cop.

 

While Billy wins for cutest mug shot, Jane definitely wins for cutest sleepwear.

I actually dig her sleepwear more than some of her daywear, like this number.

It’s not so much the outfit as it is the belt with that coloured skirt. There’s something so very 1988 about the combination. Something that makes me think of Blance Devereaux about it.

And while she’s tries to convince the goofily adorable, and now the severely disappointed, Ben that she’s quitting her job, what are her co-workers wearing?

If you guessed a vest, then you were more than right. Because I bet you weren’t expecting Carter to be in a vest, were you? But here’s the difference between Carter and Vesty: Carter does it in moderation and he’s not quite so uptight about it. To make sure everyone knows she’s a stone cold bitch, India’s dress has what appears to spiky shoulders. Ain’t no one going to cuddle those shoulders.

 

Gray on the other hand? She’s wearing what can only be described as a fancy red sack.

I dig the colour and it looks like it’s trying with that peplum. But it has no waist.

 

And the Sneaky Beau Braun? Who is somehow learning all the secrets of Donovan Decker? And no one thinks that letting him into the studio is a bad idea (even though our mole is totally Vesty)? He could probably fit his shirts a bit better.

There’s some serious pulling going on at the top button.  And honestly Beau? What is with the elbow patches?

Don’t get me wrong, I love a good elbow patch. But those are giant and squarish. Need to tone those down.

 

Sometimes we give Jane a hard time. In the YKYLF staff room, we harsh on how she runs about like a whirligig and gets the boys to fix her problems.  But this moment made we want to give her some props:

One, this outfit is spectacular. It may be my favourite of all her outfits. It is also evidence of why she and Nick could never work. He’s in prepster pink Oxford and she’s in suspenders and a greyhound print blouse. Opposites sometimes attract, but not when they’re outfits vary this wildly.  Let’s take another look at that adorbs blouse.

Nicely played, Janey. And also, way to stick it to him. Dude kisses another girl and you don’t take any shit from him. Good work, girlfirend. I suddenly have a lot more respect for you.

 

Of course, you couldn’t rest on those laurels could you? No, no you couldn’t. You had to go and get a belt with wings on. And a tutu. And some kind of fluffy bolero that make you look like you have wings.

Sheesh, Jane. Really? Perhaps you think if you get those whirligig arms going fast enough you’ll take flight. Nice to see that Vesty has other things to wear – things that aren’t vests or bowties. It still has a bit of super fancy prep school to it, but I’ll take what I can get. And I’m a wee bit disappointed in Carter. Not that I don’t appreciate how he’s able to work his purples together, but I do wish he’d step it up a notch for what seems to be a pretty big event. Everyone else is dressed up and he looks like it’s another day at the office.

I do appreciate that India’s dress is the exact opposite of Jane’s. It’s like they’re engaged in the battle of the epic shoulders. Where Jane’s getup looks like it’s made of black and white meringue, India is all structure and edges and fantastic hair.  

So glad she’s besties with YKYLF.

 

I think I speak for most of the JBD staffers when I say we adore the Ben Quimby. He tries so hard and yet, still remains goofy. I can’t imagine how he was some kind of popular jock jerk who was mean to Rita Shaw in his misguided youth. I mean, look at this guy:

For reals? Mean guy? They better give us some adorbs flashbacks to the lives of teen Ben Quimby and Rita Shaw in the next season.

 

And can we talk about how awkward it must be to have your brother teaching your friends and frenemies sex ed?

 

But for all this Ben love, I do have one issue with him. He really needs better fitting jeans.

Despite the saggy pants, I like that Ben is one of the few teachers on TV these days that isn’t having an age inappropriate relationship. In fact, he’s actively trying to kiss the age appropes Rita Shaw on the face and is showing no signs of trying to get with a student.

 

Speaking of Ben’s students, Harper is totally growing on me. She’s going from random minion to sassypants mean girl who watches The Wire and wears cute cardigans.

 

Also, I think Spencer Hastings has a double and she’s in Ben’s sex ed class. How else do you explain a pony sweater vest?

 

And serious continuity bonus points to the costume department for Tommy’s bathrobe.

 

Golf claps, my friends.

 

Back at Donovan Decker, where Jane still hasn’t quit like she promised Ben she would. Gray has decided to test her staff’s psyches by wearing a Rorschach test on her dress.

I can hear that staff meeting now: “Jane! What do you see on my dress? Did you say kittens and rainbows? Unacceptable! Why do I keep you? It is clearly a pirhana wearing a hat. Now go do something odd and not at all what anyone would ever ask of an assistant while I make India feel bad about herself.”

 

I don’t think Paulina was impressed. She is giving Gray serious head tilts over that dress.

 

So, after all of that panic over Beau Braun stealing their Marie Antoinette collection, what did the crack team four plus one assistant do? They came up with an ENTIRELY NEW COLLECTION IN FOUR HOURS.

I’m sorry what? I need a moment.

Okay, I just needed to collect myself from the implausibility of recreating a line in four hours. I’ve seen enough Project Runway to know that’s not possible. However, their Billy inspired #takeitpunk look was intriguing.

Even if it’s totes not punk, I kind of like it.  But seriously. Not punk. Just ask any punk. They’ll probably mention that collection when they complain about Avril Lavigne and Green Day.

 

So, Jane, we need to talk. If you’re trying to live a double life of a high schooler by morning, assistant to bitchy creative director by afternoon, should you not be avoiding the cameras?

Because having photos published of you is totally how someone figures out you’re still in high school and tips off your boss who then realizes she has a minor working for her and has to fire your ass and you lose your house to the bank. So let’s get it together and try to work on being the whole being “secret” and “not letting the whole world know about Jane Quimby, high schooler” thing. Otherwise, next time you’re at a fashion show, you’ll be the one pulling the sad trombone instead of backstage queen.

 

And Jane, I have some more advice for you. Let’s call it the big-sisterly variety. Ben does a decent job, but y’all could use an advice giving lady in your life. One who can say, “oh honey, you don’t need to set the makeup gun to clown. Let’s play down the blush with the bright red lip.”

 

And someone to point out when you’ve got a Vanessa-accessories-complex going on. The kind where you need to wear EVERY PIECE OF JEWELERY EVER MADE AT THE SAME TIME.  I actually heard her necklace in every scene. The sound guy who had to work on this episode probably has a vendetta out against the costume department after that necklace. However, the giant bejeweled octopus ring?

Bitchin’.

 

Too bad Sneaky Beau Braun is out to steal all your company’s ideas, which could possibly bring down the house of the Mysterious Donovan Decker.

Is it just me, or does he look like some kind of super stylish Bond villain?

 

And one last thing y’all, let’s all get on board with #runBillyrun

 

Because we cannot have another high-schooler dating a 30 year old. I’m just going to throw out some more big-sisterly advice for Jane to ponder as we head into our mid-season hiatus: y’all are 17 going on 18. You do not need to be dating a vest loving fellow with frosted tips who may be pushing ten years your senior. You’ve got plenty of time for that. Leave that to India to deal with. And let’s get all aboard the good ‘ship Billy + Janey = forevah and totes age appropes.  Because do you know what dating Vesty is?

Damn straight, Gray.