Okay, here’s the thing. Y’all got to wonder what a lady is doing when she’s getting engaged to your dad within weeks of getting back to town.

Suspish? Totes.

 

Especially when you know she’s got lockets with Ted’s high school photo in it.

Super suspish.

 

Especially since her former maid says that dude in the locket is Rebecca’s One True Love.

 

Sutton’s right. Need to fire that maid. Or call her back for more secrets.

 

I’ve got some serious suspicions about this lady. And I’m not the only one. When she’s not being a total smug bitch, Sutton seems to know what’s what. Too bad she’s locked in a cabin most days. Her idea of how to dress for a rustic cabin are almost what you’d expect. I mean, a denim shirt and work boots are normal.

Unless of course you pair them with what are possibly leather pants and those work boots actually have a four inch heel.

 

And Amanda’s right on about the Magic Cleaner in the Magic Closet. Otherwise, how else do you explain a crisp white lace shirt out in the woods?

 

Her partner in Googling for clues? Chambray Club!

 

If I were going to start a Lying Game Drinking Game, a drink for every chambray shirt would definitely be on the list. But just a sip – because one needs to be responsible and I’ve got a count of at least three during this episode. Like poor, clueless, not particularly handsome Ryan.

 

Can we get Mads a better looking dude? Really now. Both her and Char got the short straws so that Emma and Sutton could get Ethan and Thayer. Or maybe it’s just Ryan’s poor style sense that throws me off. Because honestly. What is this?!?

Electric blue polo paired with flourescent orange Adidas stripes? Nononono.

 

I wonder what he thought when his potential girlfriend walked in dressed like this.

If she’s dressed in a linen trench with a leather tie and you’re dressed in sportswear with colours that burn my retinas, then ya’ll should just give up hope that it can work. Don’t whine about how she doesn’t tell you secrets. Just accept that she’s dressed way better and needs a guy who dresses as well as she does. 

 

However, had she walked in wearing this?

Then maybe you could be forgiven for thinking you have a shot. Because if she looks like she’s about to referee a very stylish game of basketball, then your sportswear is okay.

However, she saved the referee outfit for a visit with her dad and Rebecca. I wonder if she thought there’d be some kind of shenanigans when they asked Alec if he killed a teenage boy.

 

Speaking of Alec, I need to know where he gets his shirts. They have to be custom made, because homeboy has a neck the size of a tree trunk.

 

Wherever he gets them, they totally look good on Rebecca.

 

Meanwhile, it’s not just the Scooby gang (and me) suspecting Rebecca of being up to something. Kristin suspects there’s something going on between Ted and Rebecca. She’s even breaking out her most professionally boring outfits to dig through Ted’s old file on Killing Justin’s Mom.

 

I’m pretty sure she’s only half right though. It’s not an affair, at least it’s not an affair right now. My money is on Rebecca and Ted having a thing back in the day and Rebecca is the Annie who is the mom of the twins. Which means – dunh dunh – Ted is actually their real dad. It’s got to be something sketch like that. And the call that killed Justin’s mom? Rebecca announcing her knocked-upness. Otherwise, why else would Ted get so evil looking over the idea of Kristin digging around his bizness.

For reals folks. If it was just because you had a bad day and a bad call from a fertility doctor, you wouldn’t be so damn shady.

 

You also wouldn’t get all dressed in sexy red dresses for a random dinner with your boyfriend of two weeks either. Not unless you had something up your proverbial sleeves.

 

 Something like a giant engagement ring and a secret plan to get revenge (!!!) on someone somehow.

Yeah, Mads. That’d be my reaction to the situation as well.