They say a road trip is the ultimate test of whether or not a couple is going to make it. In this case, it’s less the fault of the road trip and more the fault of Sutton being a manipulative bitch who’s trying to split them up. Oh, and Ethan kissing his girlfriend’s manipulative bitch twin. Sheesh. You’d think he’d know better. Mads does, and she’s hedging her bets on the less evil twin. And starting to come round to the idea that her dad might be up to no good. Kristen is suspect of Ted and Rebecca, which she totally should be, but probably not for the reasons she thinks. Meanwhile, my future self is feeling really ripped off that Laurel Swift and the Jude Law trio aren’t playing Coachella 2012. Radiohead Schmadiohead.

 

Ladies, I have one question for you, and I really need you to answer this one.

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How in the sam hell do you drive in those shoes??

 

Seriously. Let’s take a closer look at them.

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Heavens to betsy, girls. I can barely figure out walking in a shoe that tall, let alone navigating a car.

 

While she seems to be downplaying the full on Daytime Glamour look, Emma’s still pulling out all the stops with a silk blouse and a blazer that zips up in the back.

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Unfortately the outfit’s kind of a mess. Too many ideas are going on here and I think it’s the skirt that’s doing it. It belongs to another outfit. But I’m going to give the girl a pass this week. Why? Because she’s having a bad day thanks to Sutton telling her that she slept with Ethan while they were on the lam together. I doubt I’d manage to get out of bed if that was happening to me, let alone pull together an outfit.

 

And I’m not sure I’d be out pounding down doors and slapping said manipulative twins.

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Next to Emma, Mads looks like she’s having a serious Casual Friday. Hoodie with that bitchin’ leather jacket? That would look fantastic with a pair of great jeans. Except…

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It’s not exactly a casual outfit when you pair it with a micro-mini that barely covers your assets.

 

Then again, I’m pretty sure these girls never do casual. As we all know, school day (or a day on the road with the band) is just another day to trot out the animal print.

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The ruffled leopard print’s not doing it for me, either. Sorry kiddo. But Laurel, that’s some amazeballs hair, girlfriend. I may question your taste in boys, but I will never question your hair. I just wish you’d spend a few seconds of every episode giving us hair tips, so that by the end of season one, we’d know what kind of conditioner you use and whatnot.

 

One style lesson I did take from this episode? How to ambush your cheating boyfriend who is avoiding you.

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Yeah, hanging around outside his house in purple mirrored sunglasses is totally the way to go. It says, “You got some explainin’ to do, d-bag.”

 

While I was getting the style lesson, the gang got some lessons on the road trip to Coachella. Like, don’t wear a white jacket.

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Becuase you’ll really regret getting coffee and melted chocolate on that. (What? Just me?). Which is why Emma’s choice of a brown jacket is a much better idea.

 

Another lesson is not to buy a van from 1981 as your main means of transportation. Because you don’t want to be breaking down in a town with a sign like this.

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Hells, that’s got some creepy to it. Like someone should have been at the townline playing eerie and haunting music to welcome you to Buford Falls.

 

Or invite you to play for the seniors in town. 

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While this would normally be a GIANT EFFING LETDOWN compared to playing Coachella, I will point out that the old folks of Buford Falls are wearing floral muumuus and cardis that your average hipster would kill to wear ironically. So, exactly like Coachella but without the desert sun, dry air, hundreds of people or the major headliners.

 

Besides, I have a feeling Jude Law planned this just to get you alone for a few days.

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I mean, y’all are good, but you’ve been a band for all of two weeks. Soooo…kind of unlikely you’re playing anywhere near Indio this year. In the meantime, you can keep on making music Laurel Swift and showing off that pretty pretty hair. 

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And maybe you can talk to Jude Law about his Dan Humphrey Drab Shirt of the Month Club subscription. Or even get him to talk to Ethan. Because while he may not be the best dressed, at least he’s trying with the use of buttons instead of a pullover. And the plaid is kind of like he’s wearing colour.

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Then again, maybe not a style mentor after all. Especially not with him being a card carrying member of the Chambray Club.

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Couldn’t he join Model UN instead? Or go shirtless more often?

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Because I think I speak for all of us in the YKYLF staff room when I say: we’re fans of the gratuitous male shirtlessness he’s so graciously brought us these past few weeks.

 

Since Emma gave us some style lessons this week, I’m going to play nice and give Emma some friendly advice (seeing as how I’m older and wiser):

Do not lose your v-card in a joint like this.

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For reals honey. I’m still pro-Ethan and think you need to forgive him at some point, but he did you a solid by telling you about Sutton when he did. You don’t know what you could have caught from that motel room. (BTW – convince the owner to sell you one of those chairs on the cheap. Vintage Solair chairs are a hot commodity these days).