Even though a local teenager tried to kill himself because of bullying, Regionals still went off as planned. Show choir stops for nothing!

First were The Warblers, who took donations for Lady Gaga’s charity. Sebastian tried to say it was because he felt guilty over being so mean to Karofsky, but you know it was just to impress the judges.

Smarmy, smarmy, smarmy. Hate.

Don’t you think The Warblers should get some bedazzled Dalton blazers for their competition performances? I do. Ever since Blaine left they’ve been lacking in the pizzazz department.

 

Next was…well, I don’t know what this was.

Let’s pretend that never happened, shall we?

 

And then there was New Directions.

LOVE the outfits. Gold lame bow-ties and suspenders on the boys, full-skirted dresses with gold and red accents on the girls? Sign me up! It’s too bad their performances didn’t measure up to their fashion. Normally I would love the Troubletones belting out a Kelly Clarkson song, but in this context singing “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” while executing cheeky dance moves was, to say the least, unsettling.

 

It didn’t matter. They still won. Yay? Oh, and this happened:

WTF?

 

When Rachel and Finn decided to celebrate the win with an ill-advised teen wedding, I began taking bets on whether they’d be divorced by Nationals. But before they could tie the knot, Quinn and Kurt had some things to take care of. For Kurt, that was offering comfort to his one time tormenter, Karofsky.

I have mixed feelings about the scene (a lovely thought I suppose, but it IS alright if you don’t want to be BFFs with your former bully), but my thoughts on the outfit are clear: It’s dreadful. Did he borrow that stiff collar from Tina?

 

Quinn’s mission was to rejoin the Cheerios and make amends with Rachel. Because you’re nothing if you’re not a cheerleader. And because not supporting a poorly thought out teen wedding makes you a bitch.

 

Meanwhile, Sue told Will that she’s pregnant. PREGNANT!

So I guess snarking on maternity Adidas tracksuits is in my future?

 

At the courthouse, all the parents in the Berry/Hummel/Hudson universe were panicking about the impending nuptials.

But at least they looked good doing it.

 

Alright, concerns about a couple of kids getting married aside, Rachel did look beautiful.

Classic, demure, breathtaking.

 

I just wish I could say the same about her bridesmaids.

The cut is OK, but that shade of pink reminds me of Pepto Bismol. Quinn would have been better off attending in her Cheerios uniform or, better yet, her Regionals dress. And then this wouldn’t have happened.

Yep, that’s a truck hitting Quinn’s car as she stupidly looks the other way while sending a text. DON’T TEXT AND DRIVE, KIDDIES! I mean, seriously, don’t – but there was really no need for Glee to jam that message down our throats in a painfully drawn out, obvious PSA disguised as a plotline.

And that’s a wrap til April, folks! What do you think? Is Quinn dead? Will she be buried in a floral dress and ankle boots?