Secret admirers, reverse psychology, broken hearts and a new voice. Ah who doesn’t love Valentine’s Day? It’s Sugar’s most fav holiday eva, so daddy dearest throws her a party for her and all her friends. The no-single-people-allowed rule made Artie and Rory fight for Sugar’s heart, and with a devious story worthy of Blair Waldorf, Rory won the right to escort Sugar. Someone’s none too happy about Santana and Brittany’s relationship and has filed a complaint against their public displays of affection. Big bully Karofsky showed he is capable of love when he dressed as a gorilla and surprised Kurt. Rachel and Finn finally announced their engagement and Quinn and Kurt – the only two reasonable gleeks – refused to be a part of their big day. And Blaine got to wear a really cool eye patch. And that’s what you missed on Glee!

 

I don’t know what’s more sad. The sorry state of all their wardrobes, or the fact that Sugar is now becoming my favorite character. She was on her game this week and her quirkiness most definitely rivals Britt’s, but unfortunately her daddy’s millions (or maybe billions, if he can buy Ireland) are not going towards enhancing her closet. Girlfran’s got something going on over there with the over-sized bow and heart shaped glasses and whatever the heck that thing is hanging from her neck. No wonder why Artie started to fall for her, he’s finally found someone who dresses as ooglay as he does!

Oh wait, he already dated Tina and there is no way in hell that anyone dresses worse than Tina. Case in point above. White sailor girl dress with puffy shoulders: would be cute on one of my dolls collecting dust up in my attic. Purple knee highs: so wrong for this outfit. So wrong for any outfit. White (yes, I said white) lace up boots: Heelllll NO babe. We don’t wear white after Labor Day, and we don’t ever wear what looks like patent leather white lace up army boots after ever.

As for Quinn, I actually like her navy blue dress with white shrug. The red bows are a cute little touch for Valentine’s Day, but she looks a little too much like a 1950s housewife.

 

So we finally got to meet Rachel’s dads! I will admit, I expected a little more oomph out of them, but I do love Jeff Goldblum. And I absolutely love that he wore a purple velour suit. He looked very dapper. As did Rachel’s other dad in his twill vest and jeans.

 

I was pleasantly surprised with Rachel’s wardrobe this week. Yes, this dress does remind me a little of Carol Brady, but I’m really digging the material, pattern and fit. It doesn’t exactly flatter her body, but the super lose fit doesn’t maker her look large either, which is a win in my book.

 

I was torn between the dress above or this one as being my favorite, but I think this one takes the gold.

The plunging v-neck looks awesome on Rachel’s petite frame, and the solid blue on top and polka dot pattern on bottom is an adorable combo. And two things give it a great shape: the thin red belt (to adds waist definition), and pleating on the dress (to give a fun overall shape). Too bad Rachel always has to be standing next to this dud. I really fear for what their closet will look like once they get married, and not because of the tiny closet space in NYC apartments either.

 

Seriously, how many great pieces of outerwear does Rachel own? It really baffles me, since no one at McKinley ever dresses like there’s a change in weather. But I’ll take it since this red pea coat is beyond devine. She looks like a little Samantha American Girl doll, but not in a bad way. Is that possible? I guess it is.

 

OK, but Rachel’s outfit below was way too heart-attack-tastic for me. I think she’s falling into the housewife routine way too quickly.

Well you know, if normal housewives pranced around a grand piano holding hands and singing songs. But I do absolutely love Dad Goldblum’s fuchsia sweater paired with his blue slacks. I’m not too keen on Professor Dad’s outfit, but his jacket is pretty fun. Fun enough that I’d like to wear it.

 

Dear Rachel, take off your pants pronto and you’d be one sexy mamasita.

 

Aaaand another gorgeous red jacket. The over-sized collar and pewter colored round buttons make this look much more sophisticated and a little less Little Red Riding Hood.

 

Now, let’s talk about our girl Sugar and her choices this week. Here’s a closer look at the thing that died a-top of Sugar’s head.

Sugar, honey, Blair Waldorf is the only one who can pull off wearing headbands with bows the size of Africa. And Serena is the only one who can wear ties and make them look cool. Please try to develop your own sense of style instead of stealing it from our favorite Upper East Siders. Thanks.

 

Mannnn I want to dance around in a shower of confetti! Even if I have to pay someone to do it for me!

 

Well hello, Mad Hatter!

And did you go snooping in your grandma’s old jewelry box for that necklace? What is that? A bunch of pearls crocheted together? It looks like a pearl bulletin board with all those weird doodads stuck on. Ohmygod it’s so hideous. Let’s review. Pearls = good. Big pearls = great. A bunch of pearls strung together resembling a suit of armor = priceless, as in there is no price anyone in their right mind would ever pay for that piece of awfulness.

 

Now, as ridiculous as this next outfit is, Sugar’s confident enough to pull off a tiara and if I could wear a tiara in my everyday life I totes would, so I can’t knock her too much. And I actually think I would like her dress if I could see the whole thing. I’m just going to pretend like I never saw the ridiculous magenta shrug.

 

Speaking of rdiculous, Tina, was it really necessary to wear those black and white striped referee socks?

No, it wasn’t. And Rory, I know you’re not from this country, but here in America we do not roll up our pants as such. And Quinn, are you going square dancing later?

 

Ok, enough questioning. Mercedes is stunning in this red floor length gown belting out one of the greatest love songs of all time. I feel like in light of recent events, there is nothing I can say here but kudos on a job well done.

 

I never thought I would find myself saying this, but Mike Chang, you were my… wait for it… best dressed Gleekster of the week. His throw back to the newsies couldn’t have come at a better time since the show is coming to broadway next month! (Yes, I already have my tickets!) Mike looked so awesome in this ensemble and he sang so well – I was so proud of how far he’s come! Now, if he could only do something about that thing hanging off his arm…

I’m sorry, did I hit my head, pass out and wake up in 1890? Those are the epitome of antique shoes. And I can tell ya that they most likely were not stylish back then either. And what is with the bib on the front of your dress? Tina, get with the times!

 

Freakin’ A, I don’t even know which is worse. The hideous white boots worn in the wrong era, or these ridiculous grey and yellow lace ups with bumble bee outfit. Sugar and Tina are fo sho honorary members of the Mad Hatters tea party.

 

Mike Chang, I really feel like I should hate this outfit but you know what? I really don’t! I’m kind of digging the neon yellow pants and bright blue cardigan. Everyone else is just blah, even Kurt. And it takes a lot for him to be blah.

 

I think Brittany and Sugar need to have a fashion-off. This Chiquita banana thing Britt’s got going on upstairs is just plain dumb. I wore headpieces like that for my dance competitions and even at the age of eight knew they weren’t meant to be worn by anyone who wasn’t carrying a basket of fruit on their head.

 

Quinn’s V-day dress is pretty. I like the fit on her and I can handle the many stripes and colors for about five minutes. Sam looks super spiffy in his black blazer, it’s a nice change from his Letterman’s jacket that he refuses to take off.

But I just felt so bad for Sam this week, and every song he sang he absolutely killed it. He’s so cute that he can wear whatever he’d like. No snark there.

 

Again with this wearing white business. Quinn, it’s apparently not summer so your white summer dress is wildly inappropriate. But your cerulean trench isn’t half bad. I don’t love it, but it’ll do. Mercedes, I don’t even know what you’re wearing. Is that a shirt knotted at your waist? Or an insanely short cape? Whatever it is I don’t like it. Your red pants however, A+.

 

Arg, more season inappropriateness! I just don’t understand why it is so hard for the wardrobe department to put these girls in outfits that fit the season. Quinn looks like she’s ready for Easter Sunday. Rachel looks like she’s about to go sailing. And Sugar, well, Sugar looks like a Spice Girl, so I guess it doesn’t really matter what season it is for her since nothing they wore ever made sense anyway. And I’m pretty sure there’s a mouse in Disney World running around with no shoes on.

 

Brittany’s under the sea dress actually is kind of cute. It’s not creepy, weird like some of the other animal faced sweaters she’s worn. And Mercedes looks smokin’ in her pink dress.

 

Only Kurt could wear a metallic maroon suit and not make it look like he stepped off the set of Grease!

 

And only Blaine could wear an eye patch, red bow-tie and top-hat and make it look cool and not circus clown creepy.

 

And together, they make the cutest couple ever! Gah I just LOVE Kurt’s outfit, LOVE IT! These two aren’t just the model couple, they are models. Work it boys!