At the end of episode 100, it was revealed that Georgina is Gossip Girl. The YKYLF staff remained skeptical, and with good reason – only one episode later, it turned out that Georgina had only taken on Gossip Girl’s mantle after Gossip Girl abandoned post. With the real Gossip Girl still up for grabs, we compiled a list of potential Gossip Girl candidates:

Suspect
Melanie91

First Appearance
1×01 – “Pilot”

Pros
– There’s no way Gossip Girl would risk someone scooping her on this breaking news. To be safe, she’d have to cover Serena’s arrival herself.
– She’s too old to care about S & B … unless she has a financial stake in their drama.

Cons
– She’s wearing a hideous scarf.
– We’ve never seen her again.

Verdict: Not a chance, unless she starts lurking in the background.

 

Suspects
Katy and Iz, the Original Minions

First Appearance
1×01 – “Pilot” 

Pros
– Originally described as “Rosencrantz and Guildenstern in Jimmy Choos.”
– Until Serena’s return, they were the closest people Blair had to confidantes (other than Dorota).

Cons
– After Katy left, Iz was never the same. It’s like she lost her joie de vivre.
– Coordinating outfits is a lot of work. When would they have time to post?

Verdict: Possible. Although we’d much rather see them create a street style blog.

 

Suspect
Rachel Carr

First Appearance
2×14 – “You’ve Got Yale”

Pros
– “Randomly appears on the UES?” Please, this is Gossip Girl. Nothing is a coincidence.
– Being a teacher puts her in the thick of the drama.
– The way she cougared Dan makes us think she’s been eyeing Lonely Boy for a while.

Cons
– She had Queller institute a ban on Gossip Girl. No blog administrator wants to sacrifice pageviews.
– Left because she couldn’t handle the cruel UES.

Verdict: Unlikely. We could see her returning to reveal she’s Chuck’s long-lost sister, though.

 

Suspects
Penelope and Hazel

First Appearance
1×12 – “School Lies”

Pros
– Hazel’s surprisingly snarky. She could totally write  the voice-overs.
– Penelope’s tried usurp Blair for years.

Cons
– Hazel’s been MIA since graduation.
– Penelope’s still B’s minion.
– Penelope’s always on-screen when Gossip Girl sends out an e-blast.

Verdict: Undecided. If Penelope were G.G., she’d mention herself. The jury’s still out on Hazel.

 

Suspect
Headmistress Queller

First Appearance
1×12 – “School Lies”

Pros
– As Headmaster of Constance Billard, she has access to all the girls’ permanent records.
– Looks like Faye Dunaway, which has to mean something.

Cons
– Would she really risk her job to gossip about teenagers?
– She kept writing about the same group of students long after they’d graduated.

Verdict: No. Otherwise, she’s the gossip equivalent of Mr. Feeny. Cut the cord, Queller.

 

Suspect
Vanessa Abrams

First Appearance
1×06 – “The Handmaiden’s Tale”

Pros
– Constantly part of the UES drama.
– Ridiculously nosy. Films people all the time. Lurks in doorways.
– Obsessed with reminding Dan that he’s not an UES-er.

Cons
– Terrible at scheming and manipulating. Even Jenny outmaneuvers her repeatedly.

Verdict: Possible. She can team up with season one Silver to over-accessorize and write a bi-coastal burn blog.

 

Suspect
Vanya (last name unknown)

First Appearance
2×20 – “Remains of the J”

Pros
– Doormen hear everything, is likely part of a city-wide gossip network.
– May be an ex-Soviet spy, and only a spy could uncover some of the secrets Gossip Girl knows.

Cons
– Gossip Girl doesn’t speak in broken English.
– It’s hard to update a blog when on duty.


Verdict: Not Gossip Girl … unless … he’s working with our next suspect.

 

Suspect
Dorota Kishlovsky

First Appearance
1×02 – “The Wild Brunch”

Pros
– Loves Mees Blair and wants to help her rule the Upper East Side.
– May be part of the same city-wide gossip network.
– The foreign maid comic relief thing could be an act.

Cons
– Gossip Girl has revealed several of Blair’s darkest secrets (hooking up with Chuck and Nate, telling Chuck she still loves him at her wedding). It’s hard to believe she’d hurt Blair like that. Then again, the reveals have always forced Blair to make important decisions.

Verdict: Strangely possible. It could be that Dorota uses Gossip Girl to make Blair face the ugly parts of her life she tries to micromanage.

 

Suspect
Milo Sparks

First Appearance
3×22 – “Last Tango, Then Paris”

Pros
– His mother is Georgina Sparks. Wreaking havoc is in his DNA.
– If the eTrade commercials are accurate, babies nowadays are very tech-savvy.
– No one ever suspects the baby.

Cons
– Wasn’t conceived until the third season.

 

Verdict: Not Gossip Girl … yet. But this kid’s mother is Georgina Sparks. He’s going to grow up into the soulless version Chuck Bass.

 

Suspect
Nelly Yuki

First Appearance
1×15 – “Desperately Seeking Serena”

Pros
– Acts like the quiet, studious type, but she’s as interested in gossip as the rest of Blair’s minions.
– Has a huge, unrequited crush on Dan – “Lonely Boy” seems like the kind of emo codename a teenaged girl would dub her crush, doesn’t it?

Cons
Getting Gossip Girl off the ground would be tricky. Until Blair took her in, Nelly Yuki didn’t seem to have much access, and Gossip Girl would have required access to become as omnipresent as she is today.

Verdict
She couldn’t do it alone.
She would need an accomplice. Maybe someone like …

 

Suspect
Carter Baizen

First Appearance
1×04 – “Bad News Blair”

Pros
– He’s hooked up with B and S. That’s pretty insider-y.
– We have a hunch he’s been stockpiling secrets and rumors for years. Carter knows the value of bartering for information.

 

Cons
– He’s been on an oil platform for years, working off debts.
– We’s like to think Gossip Girl understands the value of a belt.
– Unlikely that he’d put so much time or energy into anything, particularly web design.

Verdict: Not Gossip Girl … unless he’s working with Nelly Yuki. Think about it: her brains and organization, his insider knowledge … if we find out that they’ve been secretly dating, Officer Garret and Jenna style, then they both get bumped up to probable.


Suspect
Charlotte “Lola” Rhodes

First Appearance
5×11 – “The End of the Affair?”

Pros
– She’s Lola. Freaking. Rhodes. The real one. And she’s been running around NYC under the radar for ages.

– She works for Le Petit Oeuf Catering. If that doesn’t sound familiar, maybe this image from 2×21, “Seder Anything” will jog your memory.

That’s right. Same catering company, 3 years apart? There are two options here: either Lola is Gossip Girl, and she’s been spying on the UES elite by way of cater-waitering, or Le Petit Oeuf is a secret Gossip Girl ring.

 

Cons
– How old is Lola? Has she been flying solo on the Upper East Side since Serena was 14, writing a blog about her cousin’s social life? We can’t decide if that’s creepy or just sad. 

Verdict
The most likely option
. If we’ve met Gossip Girl already, then it’s going to be Lola. Sure, it doesn’t make sense in terms of the timeline (maybe she and Carol used to write it together?), but when has Gossip Girl ever made sense or paid attention to timelines?

 

Of course, we could be totally wrong, and Gossip Girl could turn out to be Beatrice, or the creepy Priest, or Harold and Roman …  the title of Gossip Girl is still up for grabs, but we’re just happy it’s not Georgina. We like it when she’s overtly evil, not just snarking from behind a keyboard. Who do you think it is?