The dramz was high this week, but it was disorganized. Emily lost control of everyone and everything. Girlfriend, this is why sensei told you to check your feelings. You seemed like you were on top of things when you were hanging out with the Infinity Box before the photoshoot.
I was a little confused. I thought maybe going a little far with the white gloves. I mean, Victoria said all white, but she didn’t say olde timey tea party in the garden. And then I realized. Those aren’t lace gloves, they’re latex.
Oops. My bad.
We got a bit a flashback to Emily-as-Amanda. She’s got a Declan accent and started dressing better when she hit the Harvard scene to stalk Daniel.
The coffee shop hipster chic kind of works for her. Love the leather and the slouchy knitted toque. Don’t get me wrong Ems, you should carry on with your current look. Because you do casual now like the rest of us mere mortals can’t.
When I wear t-shirts to motels to get my fake self in line with my plans or even to plot with my Bestie to wipe tapes clean, I do not look that good. My t-shirts just don’t have the same detail to them.
But Ems, like YKYLF staffer Ann mentioned in her mini-recap, you killed it with the evening wear.
I can’t even begin to start with this dress it is so much awesome. It’s not quite a nude tone, but it’s not quite gold either. It’s got a sparkle and a shimmer and appears to be woven together in a way that most of us can’t wear because we’d hitch it on something after the second glass of vino. Someone needs to tell me who is responsible for a dress this lovely.
Unlike any other recap I’ve written, I’m going to have to take some time to look at this dress from at least two or three other angles.
It’s like there’s a peplum element to it, but without being puffy or adding to your hips in an unflattering way. Love. Love it so much. I only wish Nolan were at the party to give you a hug or something, because you’re looking a bit on the profoundly sad side.
This is what happens when you have feelings about your recently discovered sister and decide to cancel your Revenge (!!!) plans (red sharpies will dry up if you don’t use them). Or when Jack and all his feelings about Fauxmanda mess things up. What with missing her and then finding that damn tape and then Nolan letting him watch Li’l Amanda talk about how hard done by she is. Nolan is a sucker for anyone who calls him a friend. Which is probably why they make such an unlikely pair of pals.
“I’m sorry Jack, Fauxmanda what now? Your outfit bored me and I dozed off for a second.”
But Ems would probably perk up a bit if she knew about the gratuitous male shirtlessness (thank you ABC for that. Because ABCFamily has been letting us down lately).
Too bad Jack is niceypants to a fault. His brown and beige plaid shirts, his excessive feelings and his devotion to his childhood sweetheart bore me even more than his t-shirts bore Nolan.
She burned down a house! (well, you think she did and that should be enough). And Li’l Amanda wasn’t even that bright. She called Queen V “the lady with the dark hair” like she didn’t even recognize the lady married to her dad’s boss and lived in the giant effing mansion next door. And you’re devoted to this, Jack? Really? Sheesh. But what can I expect from a dude who buys safari style jackets.
Now Jack, if you must do a plaid shirt, you ought to talk to your friend Nolan.
Yes. Fitted, clean and pressed. This is how we wear plaid without looking like a slob. But don’t try the full look. Not yet. That’s an advanced move mastered by only the likes of Nolan Ross and Chuck Bass.
Sweet fancy moses, Nolan! You have taken the popped collar to new levels by popping the polo under the plaid. I don’t know how you do it without looking like a first rate d-bag, but I love it. Don’t ever stop. It’s why I forgive you for having feelings about Jack calling you a friend and showing him the tape of Li’l Amanda.
Also, don’t ever stop accessorizing your pocket square to match the polo shirt.
And the no socks with moccasins?
Shit son. It’s no wonder you’re my favourite Revengey dreamboat. I need for there to be sexytimes between you and Emily STAT. I know the YKYLF staffers got all weak in the knees over the Daniel proposal in the rain, but if we’re going to have feelings, we need to have Logan-Veronica levels of epic feelings and I think you’re it (and I do not use the word epic lightly).