What’s on the Revengenda this week? As Greyson weddings and divorces ramp up, Emily totally came packing with the Red Sharpie of Doom. But her feelings got in the way. No worries, just about everyone else was set to self destruct this week and did her work for her. Vic almost manages to keep Daniel quiet and Conrad to man up and be Charlotte’s devoted father again. But oh shizz! Nolan letting Jack see  Jack and his feelings for Fauxmanda bust up the dinner party and causes Conrad to spill the paternity beans, leaving Charlotte devasted (natch) and Gramps Greyson questioning Conrad’s ability to be a dad and a CEO. Ashley is questioning if she hitched her horse to the right cart and so is Fauxmanda – which has the potential to get Tyler-levels of messy if the bitch goes rogue. And all of this goes down while Nolan takes the popped collar to new heights. 

There are two props that are going to make or break Emily’s plans to ruin everyone’s lives this week and neither are a sharpie (damn). 

 

Of all the tapes to drop under Jack’s bed! And of all the tacky looking invites! I mean, I dig that you went for a box V, but what’s with the plastic shizz masquerading as a crystal? Was Swavorski closed when you decided to mail these out for the snap engagement party? You’re probably pissed about that. It’s why socialites need months to plan the engagement party. It’s okay, I know you’ve got bigger things on your mind. Like the secret paternity of your daughter, your son getting engaged to the neighbour who shoots you serious side eyes, a family with a serious comittment to teal (seriously – watch for it), and your longing for your dead ex-lover. 

 

And what does the fabulously wealthy wear while lounging at their dressing table having feelings about the ex-lover they sent up the river for mass-murder and terrorism?

 

Why a full length silk and lace dressing gown, of course. Although I appreciate she dresses in silk and lace just for herself. Queen V don’t need no husband at home to dress sexy – she dresses sexy for no other reason than because she wants to. Which is why her trip to the bar later on comes as a total shocker.

Whaaat? I didn’t even know she owned pants. I mean, she’s still the best dressed lady in the dive, but Victoria in something other than a bandage dress was our most recent shocker. So going from that to jeans in under two episodes is actually making our heads spin a bit. But straight up props to Collateral Damage Charlotte for that outfit. Kitten usually rocks the adorbs dresses, but this red and white casual outfit is killing me in the best way possible. I think it’s the white belt on the red pants that has me. Also the look of “aw yeah, I’m all that and my boyfriend pisses my mom off” is also a win.

The trip to the bar is the only time either of them goes for pants. Because Charlotte is still rocking the wee dresses. And the teal.

 

Kid does ruffles like no one else can. I like the cut-out neckline detail as well. What could be such a boring dress is made adorable by the detail and her accessorizing with a teeny gold belt.

For family engagement photo time….wait. Why is the family all getting their pictures taken for the engagement? Isn’t it usually just the couple? Or did they all want in on the chance to dress in white, seeing as Victoria has so cruelly not planned a White Party this summer (she probably had to postpone after her bodyguard/lover was murdered and her son’s roommate went crazypants)? Anyway, Charlotte does it right with cute one shoulder and hey! ruffled sleeve number.

 

Two of her talents are wearing ruffles without looking too twee and putting on a bored rich teenage face.  Kitten’s also mastered the art of the sun dress.

Even when she’s sad about being the daughter of a terrorist and turning to the bottle, she looks adorable. 

At the photoshoot, I was kind of thrown off – I thought V played it safe at first and then I realized the L’Wren Scott with it’s pops of red floral detail was pretty much teh best.

 

Lady, you are wearing the hell out of that dress. And you keep your cool and your red lipstick on like a boss, even when you’re threatening your husband.

 

And while rolling your eyes at your daughter for eating strawberries while wearing white. Doesn’t Charlotte know by now that the red fruit is for show only?

 

They were a bit of an unlikely duo this week – being all mom and daughter friendly. But the duo I want to see some more of is this.

 

Partly because I’m tired of seeing Charlotte be collateral damage. And partly because I think they’d do a fierce rendition of Sisters once all the Revengin’ is finished.

Although, Charlotte really isn’t very Vengeful like her biological sister. No, the one who is just like Emily is Queen V. She may think she doesn’t have anything in common with the daughter-in-law to be, but they both know how to destroy a man and look good while doing it. And V’s also mastered the side-eye.

 

I don’t love the side-pony style curls, but I did love the purple dress you wore to dinner. It’s fitted without being a bandage and the colour is fantastic. The opening in the back is a nice touch.

 

Unlike everyone else in the YKYLF staff room, I’m no Daniel fan. But I think it’s because I don’t want to get attached to any soon-to-be-possibly-murdered-in-cold-blood dudes. I also think he’s a bit dense. He will seriously believe anything you feed him. His mom was raped, his fiancée is who she says she is, his roommate isn’t crazy as a loon. Dude, fool you once, fool you every single time. But one thing you can do well is wear a suit. Especially a white suit.

 

It’s too bad you were Totally That Guy back at Harvard. Oh you know what I’m taking about. Poor little rich boy in expensive sweaters, packing clover cigarettes and reading poetry in bars to girls and saying that No One Understands You.

 

Whatevs, buddy. Because for all that poetry reading pickup lines, you’re now towing the corporate line for Daddy and enjoying the fitted suits.

 

I bet you don’t miss the itchy lambswool or the plaid one bit. Although, I’m going to say, I’m disappointed you didn’t go for teal at dinner. Because both Conrad and Gramps Greyson went for that look.

 

Speaking of Conrad, does he ever relax and wear something other than a suit jacket as casual wear? I mean, I know he’s an Important CEO and all, but he could wear a nice sweater or something to breakfast.

 

I guess he learned it from his dad.

 

“Heyyyy Conrad! Just flew in from Knot’s Landing to check in on yer shenanigans! You bet your bottom dollar from the company I built with my sweat and tears that I’m going to make some trouble for y’all.”

I wonder why they didn’t invite him to the White Party family photo? Maybe Gramps can’t wear a white suit like Conrad can.

 

You may not do casual Connie, but you do summer fresh stripes like a boss. Dude knows he’s a bit of a silver fox, doesn’t he?