This week saw the continuation of the Sue Sylvester Track Suit Infinity Loop with the following eye-popping gems:

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I will say in Sue’s defense that her makeup is considerably softer than what it used to be, and I appreciate the little things.

 

Bronze-medal Olympian swim coach Roz Washington has it out for Sue. She’s even wearing loud windbreakers to compete with Sue’s track suits, and she insists on wearing her bronze medal with every outfit, all the time. (Although, I pause to reflect: if I had won an Olympic Medal, would I not be considering wearing it all the time as well???)

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Mike Chang, I am concerned about this outfit. The cardigan has white sleeves attached to a green body, and there are elbow patches that are neither color. Then, you have a white henley underneath, which makes the cardigan look like a strange vest instead of a cardigan, and the color you chose for your trousers looks more like the Crayola hue “goldenrod” than casual khaki slacks. I am concerned about this overall because the look is confusing. (And where is Tina Cohen-Chang?? I didn’t see her the entire episode.)

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What….is happening here?

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Hmm. What’s this? Artie, your sweater… it’s unusual but most of your wardrobe usually is.

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Oh no. What’s that? I though they might be weird phone booths or something, but no. It clearly says “HOTEL.” Artie, WHERE did that come from??? I’m pretty sure you just won some kind of insane sweater award, because I am totally flummoxed as to what to say about that pattern.

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Mr. Schue, how many times have I had to tell you? Corduroy jackets do not go with black ties. How unfortunate. (It’s mystifying to me how in some episodes, Will is totally on top of his game and knows all the words to the hip new songs, but in this instance, he doesn’t know any of the words and he’s totally overshadowed by Señor Hottie Martinez.)

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This is a little better, but still boring. A gray shirt with a black tie and black sweater? While Emma prances around looking like a fairy tale come true? Step up, Will.

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Heavens to Murgatroyd. What.

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Finn. I know Sam made you all wear bolo ties (and weird shoes) for the number, but it’s still a bolo tie and it’s awful. Wait. WAIT. Finn, are you wearing a SHORT-SLEEVED button down shirt with a bolo tie? Oh. Oh, Finn… no.

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Sam, your new haircut and your adorable passion for Mercedes is almost enough to make me ignore the bolo ties. But not quite enough.

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Mmmhmm. This is much better. Casual and brooding.

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Normally this kind of blandness would be unacceptable, but considering he’s wearing hand-me-downs and donations while his family is still in poverty, I’ll give him a pass on this one.

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Now go get Mercedes back, you lucky dog you!