…aka, just another episode of Hart of Dixie! The matronly memories are courtesy of Lemon and her entourage, and their insistence on dressing like my great Aunt Mildred (or how I would imagine her to dress, if I had such a person in my life). Zoe finds herself in the position of “other woman” (although not in the way you think), and being charmed by Dr. Cheater, aka. Judson the Veterinarian. Meanwhile, Wade is so in love with her that he can’t even concentrate on doing body shots off a hot and trashy blond, Lemon is upstaged and told off (finally!!) by one of her Hell’s Belles, and she finds out a secret about her idol that I am SURE she is going to use for blackmail in some later episode (I mean, that’s how Lemon rolls…wait, do lemons actually roll?)

 

Zoe starts off the episode in such a happy mood that everyone in town thinks she’s either a) crazy, b) finally getting some, or c) well…just being Zoe Hart the flaky, new-fangled city girl. She literally walks through town saying good morning to everyone with a big goofy grin on her face…even the old cranky bitches that sit on the bench in the town square EVERY SINGLE MINUTE OF THE DAY (seriously, do they EVER leave?). Luckily she does it in a cute outfit:

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Oh, what do you know – Dr. Hart is wearing shorts! Never trust a doc who wears shorts every day. And looks like she’s 15 years old. And is Rachel Bilson. At least that’s what these ladies’ faces are saying. Ah, hell nah. Well, you can’t doubt that she’s cute! These lace shorts are a little different and very feminine, so I like – the polka dot top makes them a little more fun and the black blazer adds a bit of professional polish.

 

This scene reminds me of the opener of Beauty and the Beast where the entire village is singing about how strange and peculiar Belle is, while she sings about how she can’t wait to get her butt outta town. Um, similarities, much? I mean, look at her face:

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This belongs in a musical cartoon, like, yesterday. 

 

NEXT!! She also wears a cute top (and a suspicious expression) when Levon (nosiest landlord ever…and maybe the hottest) and Wade stop by to check on her, thinking they would catch her with the new boy toy they believe is putting that smile on her face:

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Hey boys, how you doin’? Me? No, I’m not hiding anything behind these printed, billowing sleeves. Well, nothing except my loaded guns. Meooooow!! I don’t hate this top, but I don’t love it. It’s….a top…with a fun print. I do love the side braid she is rockin’ though.

 

But I’m sorry to say Annabeth looks a little like an Old Navy ad from five years ago, and she looks intensely concerned about that, too. As am I. 

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Meanwhile, Lemon continues to be “more crazy and stressed than usual” (is it just me, or do people use that descriptor for her at least once every episode? I’m thinking crazy and stressed is just how she is. All the livelong day). She really wants to impress her idol, Deely-Ann – the head of the Memory Matrons, whose main purpose (from what I can tell) is to put on outfits from Tanjay and suck up to each other at teas and other boring get-togethers. Lemon’s looks often resemble Katherine Hepburn, which most of the time, I like. Observe:

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The vibrant purple colour of her top and the high-waisted pants look great on her since she doesn’t have any, you know, actual hips.

 

The outfit she wears to have Deely-Ann and her husband (aka. George’s rival lawyer) over to brownnose is not bad either:

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Again, a nice colour in the top, although without the vibrancy of the first one. However, the skirt looks a little like the curtains that were hanging in my apartment when I first moved in, and the curtsey was rather awkward. 

 

Too bad George ruined it for her when he got overly competitive in Pictionary and did an embarassing victory dance when he and Lemon won:

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Jazz hands!! Well, Lemon found the dance embarassing. I found it hilarious. The dancing was so bad it was awesome, which is something I aspire to at every party. Good thing he didn’t have to draw “baby talk“.

 

I also didn’t mind Lemon’s next outfit:

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Ok, so the blouse is a little old-fashioned but the cute skirt and pulled back hair make it a bit more modern. It’s sort of a cute secretary/librarian look, and Lemon does not often do “modern”. In fact, she’s the perfect person to be the head of the Memory Matrons because she’s always doing “matronly” things – 1940’s clothes and hair? Curtseying? Moaning and groaning about those damn “kids” and all their fun-having?

 

This outfit?

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See? Matronly. This looks like it was made from curtains (a popular trend for Lemon-wear this episode)…I mean, a chiffon floral cape, Lemon? Really? My fake Aunt Mildred would be proud, but she’s about the only person. Memory Matron, indeed. 

 

Back to Zoe (now back to me, now look at my hand, now back. to. me.) decides to help her new BFF Annabeth practice standing up to Lemon by doing some role-play (no, not THAT kind, Levon). She hilariously dons a floppy hat and imitates Lemon and gets it right on.

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I mean, she says “Heaven’s to Betsy!!” at one point, which is something Lemon would totally say. Add “grandmotherly expressions” to the list of “matronly” things she does. Zoe’s stretchy black dress here is very simple but rockin’. Very Herve Leger. See, Lemon? Sure Zoe can dress overly trendy and youthful at times but at least she doesn’t raid the Golden Girls wardrobe department every morning.

 

I love the necklace Zoe rocks with this dress:

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It’s vaguely tribal or Middle Eastern, like something you would pick up in a market in Turkey or something. The perfect counterpoint to the dress.

 

Another counterpoint to the dress this episode was Judson looking like a walking Tommy Hilfiger ad:

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This is a little too preppy-punting-at-Cambridge for my liking, but I’ll admit it – he still looks delicious. I am not sure how I feel about Zoe and Dr. Cheater now dating seriously after he slept with her friend. However, I suppose his remorse could be genuine. It’s not like he has much choice for hot girl material in this town. Plus he relayed his excitement about her “liking him too” to a dog and that was pretty cute (talks to animals like they are people: check in the “hot” box for me!). 

Tune in next week, for what I am sure will include yet more misunderstandings and more matrons. They’re both pretty much guaranteed for every episode, right?