So, there were a few men in this episode, too.
Let’s start with Conrad “World’s Worst Dad” Grayson. While he’s punishing Charlotte for something she has nothing to do with (i.e. her paternity), he’s wearing his usual Wall Street power suit (with a bit more style than usual, with the pinstriped shirt):
Honestly, I bet the guy who plays Conrad had so much fun this week, going head-to-head with Queen V and coming out on top (for once). I also like how flashback Queen V and Connie are all Hamptons-casual:
Like, is Queen V wearing pants? I thought she was genetically unable to wear anything other than a pencil skirt. And Connie in the golf shirt? I guess they were parents of a young Daniel at the time, but the style change is quite interesting.
Speaking of Daniel “Possible Murder Victim” Grayson, he really knows how to wear a suit.
(Note Victoria’s shackle-like bracelet there, hovering just over his head. Girlfriend knows how to accessorize.)
But seriously. Daniel’s suits are like, skin-tight. Does Herve Leger do menswear all of a sudden? How can he move around? Is there some spandex component in his suits? (*Note: NOT THAT I’M COMPLAINING. And I was with the rest of the internet, swooning and reaching for the smelling salts after the OTT romance of Daniel’s rain-soaked proposal)
Even Emily’s small heart grew three sizes that day.
And Jack “The Bruised Bartender” Porter was looking good this week, as per usual, in one of the denim shirts he likes to share with Fake!Amanda:
The poor guy. First he gets horribly beat up, then the girl he thought was his childhood soulmate deserts him without a proper goodbye, then he finds out that the other girl he likes is engaged to a Grayson… If he needs a supportive hug, I’M TOTALLY THERE FOR HIM. You know. Just for the record.
Declan “Graduate Of The James Dean Academy Of Teenage Attitude” Porter was also on the show this week.
This week, Declan is brought to you by the letter S and the number 6.
I blame the bad weather on Nolan “Pop pop!” Ross’s somewhat normal clothing choices this week. Like, is that just one collar? And not even popped? Maybe it’s the damp storm air deflating his carefully starched collars:
… although his hair is still expertly coiffed. With that sort of wind and rain, he must be using industrial-strength hair straighteners. But he is, after all, a bazillionaire, so I’m sure he can afford the best that money can buy.
And he’s just got one collar in his next ensemble, too!
I guess if we’re going with the whole “collars represent Nolan’s mental state” thing, then this means he’s in a good head space. But seriously – baby blue polo shirt and a khaki blazer? What is he, a contestant on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, circa 2002?
I dig his beach outfit, featuring a cute colour-blocked windbreaker and his usual khakis and boat shoes:
I think he borrowed those skinny pants from Daniel. Or maybe all Hamptons men are wearing spandex-blend pants this season?
You gotta love how he went in for a hug, only to be Lisbeth Salander’d by Emily:
Don’t take it personally, Nolan. She doesn’t do side-hugs. Emily will only hug you if there’s a camera right over your shoulder she can gaze into evilly/guiltily.