After last week’s big fire, this week is all about water – namely, a huge storm rocks the Hamptons, ruining quite a few lives in the process. Yes, there was a rainstorm but also Emily’s revenge (!!!) plans kicked into high gear, taking no prisoners. Although, her plans didn’t all go quite as planned, and she’s thrown for a loop when Jack suddenly becomes collateral damage…

 

Hey, remember how we found out last week that Charlotte is probably Emily’s half-sister? This surely explains her fabulous hair and wardrobe, such as this ADORBS raspberry-coloured ruffled sundress:

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Charlotte’s kind of how Emily might have turned out – you know, if her life hadn’t been ruined and she hadn’t gone off to juvie and dyed her hair black and stuff. Charlotte’s got some #firstworldproblems, but a pretty enviable life.

 

And a super-sweet collection of sundresses. Check out this baby blue beauty:

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This week, she spent a lot of flouncing out of rooms, which makes her cute dresses look even cuter. She’s a kid who’s spent most of her life having things go exactly how she wanted, now getting the slightest taste of Emily Thorne’s life. Like, if Emily Thorne’s life is a full-on Greek tragedy, Charlotte’s is like the season finale of Top Model All Stars, where they went to Greece: a hot mess, but still mostly enjoyable.

 

Honestly? I think being David Clarke’s daughter might be the best thing to ever happen to her. At least, her plotline has suddenly got 100% more Emily in it. And she got one of this week’s Over The Shoulder Hugs™

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Once you’ve got one of Emily’s sad and/or evil-eyed hugs, you know your life is either going to improve, or be DESTROYED.

 

Ashley makes another one of her patended “blink and you’ll miss it” appearances of fashion AMAZINGNESS. Check out this strut in 5″ stilettos over the debris-laden lawn:

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I know, you have to kind of squint. This show makes you work hard to fully appreciate Ashley’s to-die-for wardrobe. Here’s a closer look:

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Love the detail at the neckline, love the skinny black belt, love the wrist cuff… why isn’t she on this show more often? How many people can pull off that shade of mustard yellow? How does she get her hair so shiny? I demand an Ashley spinoff, maybe called STYLE (!!!)

 

Ashley was hella pissed this week when she realized she put her money on the wrong horse (i.e. Victoria). But really, does she realize how lucky she is? Has she seen what Victoria’s other employees have to wear?

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I like to think Ashley was given one of these unifoms on her first day, accidentally spilled something on it, and ever since she’s been like, “Oh, yeah, my uniform is at the dry cleaners… My bad!”

 

Oh, and Victoria? You’ve been LAWYERED:

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Did you guys notice that Conrad’s ferosh lawyer is Francie from Alias? Nice to see her again. Looks like she got a minor in FABULOSITY at the same time she got her law degree. She can be Ashley’s sidekick on STYLE (!!!) (Ooh, and on STYLE [!!!] maybe every episode, they put a big X over pictures of unstylish people, using red lipstick! ABC, I am willing to take 50% of the money from this soon-to-be-hit show)

 

I think that Ashley and the lawyer’s first victim on STYLE (!!!) can be Fake!Amanda. Someone has got to rip this girl away from the cutoffs. She’s been wearing them so long that they’re fraying to the point that they’re essentially a denim diaper:

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And didn’t she go clothes shopping a few weeks ago? Why is she always wearing Jack’s clothes? Like, she’s wearing his jacket in the picture above, and then later on, she’s wearing his plaid shirt:

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OK, so the plaid shirt looks cuter. But she needs to step away from the “2 for $10” tanktop bin at Old Navy. She also should maybe look into a size Small, rather than Extra Small.

 

But who knew she’d clean up this good?

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Girlfriend looks like a million bucks! Or at least like, $100,000. I’ve always had a crush on her big curls, and her she’s got then tamed in a really cute way. Between the hair and the smirk, she’s channeling Naomi from 90210… wait, isn’t Naomi’s last name Clark? Hmm… Amanda Clarke, Naomi Clark… I smell a crossover episode!