This week we get to see Jess at work for the first time (and meet her weird and possibly drug-addicted boss), but we also get to see her at play. What am I noticing? A definite style formula. She wears similar styles throughout episodes and between day and evening events. Don’t they give out, like, Nobel Prizes for discovering this kind of stuff? If not, they should really get on that…


The episode opens with the gang hanging around the apartment discussing Schmidt’s birthday plans, and when those plans fall through, Jess decides to play “party fairy” in a blouse that seems like an appropriate colour for such a vocation – green…you know, like “tequila tinkerbell” or something.


I love all the bright primary colours and prints Jess rocks on the regular – they definitely say “fun teacher” but the feminine, slightly retro cuts keep them looking profesh (as Schmidt would say). I mean, look how fun this skirt is:

Wouldn’t you want to party with a girl wearing this skirt? Ok so maybe a poufy, polka-dot miniskirt doesn’t exactly say “hotel room trasher” but you would at least want to be her friend, right? You would want to spend an afternoon decoupaging with her, I think.


Jess raids her boss’ (aka the vice-principal’s) drawer of drugs and cigarettes confiscated from the kids in hopes of finding some “party favours”, and she does it wearing a cute charcoal shirtdress:

Oh LOOK – another fun print and vibrant primary colour! Hey kids, looks like we have learned a new equation: Jess’ wardrobe = fp + bc – where fp=fun print and bc=bright colour. Somebody call Mensa, I’m a genius. Ok, maybe not…but it is a smart formula and one that really works for Jess (and me). This print is actually a bit “blah” for me, but I love the red belt. However, I’m not so sure about the length of that skirt Jess – is that really appropriate for a classroom that is not in a Van Halen video?


It appears the first part of my genius wardrobe equation (fp) is actually a variable because it does not always appear in all Jess situations. Take her Schmidt birthday party dress:

So, in this case we have a bright colour (bc) but no fun print (fp). But it certainly is a lovely colour – cornflower blue, I guess you could call it, although I have no idea what a cornflower actually looks like. What really makes it a party dress is the sparkly, disco tube top. Nothing says “I am ready to party” than sparkly boobs…although it also kind of makes me want to start singing “Stayin’ Alive”. Do the kids still party to that song? I’m not the right person to ask. I’m coming up with wardrobe equations, for crying out loud!


Another signature of Jess’ wardrobe is a great coat. She wore a great hot pink one in the Christmas episode, and she follows that up here with a vibrant red. Another bright colour – whaddya know!

Again, love the colour and shape, but it looks a tad warm for LA, no? And all you warm-climate people, don’t start giving me the “oh, the temperature really drops here at night” bull. I’m sorry but 10ºC/50ºF is NOT cold. Come on up to Canada on a brisk February morning, then play your tiny violin in my ear!

Anyway, I digress…the coat is stylin even if it’s not practical. But we can’t be practical all the time, can we? Sometimes you just need to say ‘screw it’ and jump on a makeshift party bus with a middle-aged male stripper, amiright?