This week on Pretty In Pink  13 Going On 30  The Devil Wears Prada  Jane by Design, we see Jane’s true talent lies not in the world of of fashion design, but in her superhuman ability to multitask like an ‘effin boss. There’s got to be some Harry Potter shit going on because I can hardly find time hit the gym more than twice a week. Jane’s balancing school, work, high school dramz and workplace dramz – good thing Billy doesn’t have a life outside of her, otherwise girl would screwed. But the real treasure this week was Gray Chandler Murray: if she was any more over the top, she’d be on the other side.

 

OK, as a dude, I’m not much for pyjamas but I wonder how many of my lady friends wear miniskirts to bed. Even if it’s fashionable and quirky, that can’t be common practice, right? Anyway, in case you didn’t catch it last week amid the many costume changes, Jane Quimby is a high school misfit with a penchant for fashion. So it shouldn’t surprise y’all that as soon as she wakes up, Jane’s altering some trousers before school to create a new outfit. For reals. I was waiting for the cartoon bluebirds and squirrels to arrive and dress her.

 

If only I had a friend like Billy in high school. You know, one that would drive me around and keep watch as I changed in the backseat of his car. In broad daylight. With the windows down. On a busy street near a subway station. Why don’t they just throw a dog collar on the poor guy? It would actually work against his punk rock accessory explosion. I wonder which episode will reveal his hidden musical talent…

 

As much as I find her wardrobe and lifestyle to be slightly ridiculous, you have to appreciate Jane’s fashion choices. The high-waisted pants with the brass buttons are classic. You don’t get much more fashionable than that, and with the polk-dot blouse it’s a match made in cutesauce. Even her school attire is worthy of the Donovan Decker offices. I’m a sucker for a leather jacket and wearing it over a fantastic print makes a fluffy dress look metro chic. If you’re a fan of contrast (and you should be), Jane knows how to rock it out.

 

 

Misfits! Every last one ‘em! Or… two regular teenagers who feel like they don’t fit in, dwell on the embarrassment of junior high, and define themselves by making a statement with their clothing. You decide.

 

Yeah, this chick knows what’s up. I think the Bohemian Rhapsody look could have used a little less flair, but I’m dead over Jane’s tribute to indigo. And that chunky necklace. It wouldn’t work many places, but it’s great here.

 

Gratuitous Shoe Porn: what the hell is going on? This looks like John Galliano and Betsey Johnson got drunk one night were all, “Fuck it – let’s make some shoes”! I wonder if the casting agent made all the potential Janes run some laps in heels of varying difficulty, because in every running scene this week, I cringed.

 

It’s interesting to note that the passion for fashion runs in the Quimby household. Even if Ben is wearing a navy sweater with a brown blazer. I’m sorry, I’m sure it’s acceptable, but brown & blue just remind me of that hideous chocolate & teal combination that was so hot in 2004.

 

I wonder if Billy’s ever listened to Greenday? Or Smashing Pumpkins?

 

I wonder if Nick’s ever listened to Coldplay? Or The Dave Matthews Band?

 

Also, I’m starting a pool as to when this will happen for real-real, not for play-play. Any takers?

 

Trying on your mom’s outdated pink dress before a high school dance? This feels oddly familiar… 

 

And your friend who marches to the beat of his own drum arrives wearing a noticeable tie? Anyone else feeling major déjà vu?

 

Ah yes, there it is! For a minute I thought I was having a mild stroke, but it’s just an overtly cheesy tribute to a classic 80s teen film. Note: readers born after 1990 will not have air high fived me for this photo.

 

So, Lulu is the chick Jane has to “compete” with at school because compared to her, Jane is a boxcar child who needs to panhandle for lunch money. Lulu’s obviously going to have the most designery fashions for school, like that hideous Burberry skirt and obnoxious glossy leather purse. Her friends are just as bad, yo. But if I still worked in retail, I’d make a killing on girls like this.

 

And THIS is the woman Jane has to compete with at work. Notice the lack of quotation marks? Yeah, Lulu and her cadre of skanks are no match for Jane, but India is something else. With Pan Am gone from the YKYLF roster, fans of the bitch face can revel in India’s. It’s funny (and kind of sad) that whenever there’s a ruthlessly ambitious career woman on television, they have her wear borderline dominatrix wear. I mean, this woman is sealed into that vinyl casket they’re passing for a dress – how can we not hate her?

 

Welcome to America, Vesty Vestershire! Tell me, did you have to take your vest off at US Customs? Also, is it true that all English men have special occasion vests for events like royal weddings and the like? Sorry, but there’s something I find incredibly douchey about vests. Especially when you wear a solid black vest with blue & white checks. Hopefully Jeremy refines his colour blocking before his spin-off series, ‘Say Yes To The Vest’ premieres.

 

A close up of hot pink stilettos on the night of the Donovan Decker Spring Preview? I wonder who that could be?

 

::GASP:: It’s Gray! Oh my stars, who could have forseen this turn of events? The incredibly anal, obsessive fashion director showed up to her own Spring Preview rather than completely trusting her newest PA to handle the job? Well, I for one am stunned. Sidebar: Gray has got some ferocious hair happening right now. If her style is to wear simple, sleek dresses with comically large jewellery, I can get on board.

 

Jane’s homemade tutu was the crown jewel in the Donovan Decker preview? Take a note everyone: when in doubt, trust the fashion inclinations of a 16-year old who just happens to be a sewing prodigy.

 

Especially if it elicits reactions like this:

 

OK, I had to save this bad boy for last. Does it relate to the narrative? Not exactly… but it’ll definitely make you LOL.