Every time someone says, “it’s that time of year again”, an angel cringes. Because technically, it’s always that time of year again. But for YKYLF, it really is that time of the year again: Very Special Holiday Episode time!
While sipping spiked egg nog and/or cider and eating latkes and holiday shaped cookies in the YKYLF staff room, we came up with the Very Special Holiday Episodes we’d like to see this year. We think some of our ideas were better than what actually happened on our TVs (note to Hollywood: talk to us next year!)…
A Very Special Revenge: Emily comes down the chimney & DESTROYS EVERYONE’S LIFE. A merry Revenge to all and to all a good night.
Gossip Girl: there’s no room at the Empire and Blair has to birth her child in Brooklyn, complete with the three wise Humphreys. Meanwhile, The Island of Misfit Tertiary Gossip Girl characters cry that no one loves them. That’s where you’ll find Raina, Agnes, Olivia, Aaron Rose, Milo, Carter Baizen, Vanessa, Mama Abrams, Chuck’s mom, the teacher Dan hooked up with, Eric….
Lying Game: Sutton is visited by the three ghosts of Christmas, in the guise of Emma, Mads, and Char (Emma is the Ghost of Christmases past with bio-mom, Mads is Christmas present, because she’s the one with the EvilDaddy, and Char is future because she dresses like she’s 40.). In the end, Sutton starts to see the error in her ways, but then she remembers how much more effective being a bitch is, and she goes back to being the Sutton we know and love.
PLL: A’s 12 Days of Creepy Christmas: 1 dead BFF, 2 feather earrings, 3 lesbian flings, 4 scowls from Hannah, 5 creepy texts, 6 Spencer melt-downs, 7 shady teacher-student relations, 8 black leather gloves, 9 black sunglasses, 10 flashback scenes, 11 creepy siblings, and 12 shirtless hotties.
Pan Am: Kate is sent to make a top-secret delivery to the North Pole, and in so doing discovers the Real Meaning Of Christmas. Meanwhile, La Ricci shuts it down with her rendition of the 12 Bitchfaces of Christmas.
New Girl: Jess performs “A Very She & Him Christmas” at the school Christmas concert, and later tries to wrap Christmas, Hannukah and Kwanzaa into one extra quirky holiday. She’ll sing a song about it called “Chriswanzakuh”.
Mad Men Christmas: Sally drinks her first spiked egg nog – the first step in the path to one day taking over the Draper family business – while Don’s most recent crisis of conscience has him wishing Dick Whitman was never born. Then he meets an angel. We all know how that story ends: a bottle of Canadian Club and an award-winning ad featuring angel wings.
Ringer: Santa arrives with the MURDER TRUNK full of DEAD BODIES AND LIES for under Shivette’s impeccably and professionally decorated tree.
True Blood: Twas the night before Christmas, when all through Bon Temps
Not a creature was stirring, ‘cept a vamp getting his freak on. The plaid shirts were hung by the chimney with care, In hopes that a guy with great abs would soon be there. When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, Sookie sprang from Erik’s bed to see what was the matter.
When, oh what a site her wondering eyes met: “It’s a miniature sleigh, driven by Lafayette!!”
“On Hooker! On Waitress! On Vampire! On Fairy!
On Witches! On Shifter! Come on, y’all better hurry!
I just bought some new do-rags, I look such a sight,
I hope that Jesus is good to me tonight!
So sashay away, sashay away, sashay away y’all!”
Glee: The Gleecracker features Kurt playing the ballet-savvy Nutcracker Prince once he’s gone all handsome (he does look good in military jackets), and Finn will play pre-hottie Nutcracker. The Prince and Quinn (as the Sugar Plum Fairy) will share a pas de deux that’s mega loaded with Old Flame Tension, while Clara (played by Rachel. Of course she gets the lead) watches in jealous confusion. The Rat King will be played by Puck, the snowflakes will ALL be played by Brittany, and the flowers all played by Tina. Mother Ginger is Mercedes and Santana does the Arabian dance.
Very Special Hart of Dixie: Zoe finds the meaning of Christmas in a Southern Miracle on 34th Street. She thinks the old guy is crazy and wants to medicate him, but maybe he really IS Santa Claus. In return, she shows Bluebell the meaning of Hanukkah. Or Chrismakkah, because come on, she is Summer Roberts.