No Champagne Sorrows Christmas is complete without cliffhanger-y, secret-revealing stories!

This week’s episode:
90210 – “O Holly Night”


Silver sees with Navid with pretty detective lady and decides she wants to be momma–literally. Like, to a child. Naomi seems to be learning the meaning of hard work, but ends up neglecting Austin who then pursues other…outlets. Liam comforts Annie in her time of self-loathing depression, then learns that she’s Pretty Woman. And that’s NOT IT! Did you see what happened at the end?? SPOILER ALERT: I’m going to show you what happens because it’s pretty much a stock moment from the “Very Special Holiday Episode” library.

On to the fashion:

The YKYLF staff has all been on a pretty big Silver kick lately, but I just can’t find it in my heart to heart this one. Is this an apron? Is it a jumper? A dress? Then pan down to the boots. I’ll give you a second to take it all in…

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Yeah this looks like your washer-woman trying to be trendy. Sorry Silver, your little Lit Professor is gonna have to fail you based on lack of flattering style elements. 


Oh look! It’s Boho Annie. Because you know when you go to confront the person contesting your inheritance you have to show a little midriff. Although this situation may not be the most appropriate for this outfit, Annie rocks it. She almost does midriff-baring, high-waistedness better than Naomi…almost. 

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For someone so hot and buff, that tank top makes Jeremy look positively wimpy. This must have been the moment where Annie knew she would be able to blackmail him in some way; simply because if that is what he goes to work out in, he’s not serious and those muscles are just for show. C’mon dude, have you heard of moisture-wicking? That cotton thing is going keep you a wet mess.


Adriana is a waitress. I get it, she needs to wear the apron. But isn’t the point of working in a bar to get a lot of tips. How does one get tips in a skirt to her ankles? I’m going to have to point out her shoes too. Is she going to a Dancing With the Stars audition after the bar closes? Those definitely look like ballroom heels. 



Can anyone wear a solid-colored, body-hugging, deep-V-cut dress like Naomi? I’m being serious here. Send me examples. I want to know who can flaunt it better than Miss Naomi. 


Don’t even get me started on how fab that burgundy color is. Divine. 


Holly said it perfectly when she saw Austin for the first time in this gettup. “You look like an extra out of Brokeback Mountain.” I’m pretty sure Jake Gyllenhaal wore this exact same outfit. Even if he didn’t, who needs a shearling-lined denim jacket in L.A.? 



Last week we got to see Twilight Liam and this week we get Businessman Liam. I’m still confused on why Liam dressed up like he was going to Wall Street instead of going to a poker party with Vinnie from Jersey Shore



Liam, this is appropriate attire for a fist-pumping poker game. More GTL, less NASDAQ.


Shoutout to Vinnie, who was my favorite from Jersey Shore when I turned in on rare occasions every week.



Austin and Holly hook up. Did Naomi really not see this coming?


Clearly, Holly is only with Austin to piss off Naomi.  And to show us her pretty lingerie. Not that this show needs much excuse for that.


Alright, so “Very Special Holiday” episodes are not complete with a car wreck and a main character’s life hanging in the balance. Am I right? I mean, even Gossip Girl did it this week, and probably several other shows I don’t watch.

Annie decides that being a hooker is not worth it and Liam’s love is. But…


…of course, Liam gets hit by a car while driving angry. He’s hit by some random girl that I’m sure has absolutey NO connection to any of main characters in any way. It’s definitely not Liam’s long lost sister or Annie and Dixon’s crazy Oklahoma cousin (oh wait, they actually did do that one). I will say I appreciate her pop o’ color yellow bangle. She can stay around for a while. And she probably will.