It’s Sectionals time, y’all! New Directions and The Troubletones are competing against each other, but that’s not the only drama brewing at McKinley High. Finn and Rachel rescued Sam from his gig as a stripper in Kentucky so he could come back to Ohio to help New Directions win Sectionals, Quinn crafted a plan to out Shelby and Puck’s fling so that Shelby would get fired, and Tina confronted Mike’s dad about supporting Mike’s dancing dreams. Finn and Blaine managed to put their past conflicts aside to kick butt at Sectionals and, despite a questionable performance, they did just that – New Directions won, and a few defeated members of The Troubletones came back to join them. Aaaaand, that’s what you missed on Glee!

 

I’ll be honest: I did not like this episode. Glee has been touch and go all season, and this episode was the culmination of a few storylines that just weren’t working for me. In particular, Quinn. Girlfriend is a hot mess emotionally, but at least she’s started dressing well again.

She may be a bitch who’s trying to steal back the baby she put up for adoption, but she’s a bitch in a gorgeous hat.

 

Not only is Quinn trying desperately to get Baby Beth back, but she’s also trying to get Sam back. She basically threw herself at him – but Sam has his sights set on Mercedes.

Again, at least she’s dressed well for her self-destructive downward spiral. I love her yellow shrug and striped skirt.

 

Quinn finally realized what a psycho she’s been, mostly thanks to Rachel.

Is Quinn dressed in white because she’s a good person again? It’s a lovely dress, though not particularly appropriate for Ohio in the fall. Rachel looks great too, in her color-blocked skirt and tam. Very artiste chic, which is what she’s hoping NYADA will want. Oh, and Quinn’s future plans? Well now that she’s stopped eying teenage motherhood as a legitimate option, she has her sights set on Yale. Yes, Quinn at Yale. In the drama program. Because no one at this school has plans to do anything other than perform. The world needs marine biologists and public relations assistants too, you know!

 

Speaking of Rachel, she was all out of sorts this week since she was banned from performing in Sectionals. First she and Finn took a road trip down to visit Sam, a.k.a. “White Chocolate”. This is what they discovered:

 

You know what? Totally worth the ridiculous plot point. I’ll look at Chord Overstreet without his shirt on any day, and the performance was well worth it just to see Rachel make these faces:

 

Girlfriend went from excitement to shock to disgust in about the amount of time it took Finn to form the thought “Ew.” Nice coat, though. Rachel really knows how to rock plaid. Here’s a better look at Rachel’s coat as she tries to convince Sam not to continue with his career as a male exotic dancer.

Rachel is saying “You’re better than this!” Finn is thinking “I shouldn’t have eaten those 4 day old nachos from that truck stop.”

 

Sam does decide to return to Ohio with them, where he treated New Directions to a performance of “Red Solo Cup”, a classic country ode to a plastic beverage container. Kurt was less than thrilled.

Oh Kurt, never change. And that scarf looks fabulous.

 

You know what else was fabulous? Kurt telling that smirking meerkat Sebastian to back the hell off. He gave him total Bitchface.

I’ve never been more proud, even though that lopsided collar and studded lapel are atrocious.

 

But seriously, a guy’s gotta fight for his boyfriend when his boyfriend is this cute.

An old man sweater! What a nice departure from Blaine’s typical hipster wardrobe. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. But it’s nice to branch out every once in a while.

 

Just look how hot Blaine looked when he was boxing!

Although, weirdly pale, right? Like he’s an extra in the cast of Twilight or something?

 

Speaking of vampires, let’s check in with Tina! (Figgins thinks she’s a vampire, so that was totally a legit segue.) Tina went to visit Mike Chang’s dad to give him some parenting tips. She arrived dressed like Wednesday Adams.

Seriously, Tina? Enough with the collars already. Unbelievably, Mike’s dad actually took what Tina said to heart and showed up at Sectionals to support Mike. Sorry Glee, but if there was a way of convincing Mike’s dad to be more supportive of his dance career, Wednesday Adams and that brutally boring Sectionals number were not it.

 

And with that, let’s get to Sectionals! I didn’t love New Directions’ Jackson family medley (how come they get to perform three songs when everyone else performs only one?) but I did love their costumes. So chic!

 

Rachel was banned from performing, but she could still attend as an audience member. And her black and white dress matched the New Directions! I like seeing Rachel dressed up and not looking like a toddler.

 

Also in the audience was Emma. We didn’t get a great look at her outfit, but I’m sure it was très adorable.

I love the detailing at the neckline of her sweater. This show needs more Emma Pillsbury! This site needs more Emma Pillsbury!

 

Despite getting seriously out-performed by The Troubletones, New Directions won Sectionals. To celebrate, they all met in the auditorium for a celebratory song – and, thank god, it was not another rendition of “Red Solo Cup”.

Blaine looks super cute here, but who put the Irish kid in a bowling shirt? Hasn’t he ever heard of Charlie Sheen? Charlie Sheen is just one of many reasons why no one should be wearing a bowling shirt. It’s the opposite of #winning.

 

I also have to call into question what Kurt is wearing.

Shorts and boots? With a cap? What, is he on his way to audition for the role of Oliver Twist? “Please sir, I want some more PANTS – because these shorts just aren’t cutting it.” Right?