SMG’s Ringer ends with a bang (literally) while Rachel wears a rated Arrrrrrrrr! dress on Hart of Dixie. (Haha, get it? No? Read on.)

This week’s episodes:
Hart of Dixie – “The Pirate & the Practice”
Ringer – “That’s What You Get for Trying to Kill Me”

First up. . .Hart of Dixie

 

It’s Thanksgiving in Bluebell, or as the residents affectionately refer to it, Planksgiving.  That’s right.  Instead of turkey and stuffing, Bluebell is all about ruffled shirts and swashbuckling.  Why is this?  Mayor and Most-Perfect-Man-in-Bluebell, Lavon Hayes, told us, but I was too mesmerized by his ruffled eye patch to pay much attention.

 See? Distracting.

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Lavon’s gold ruffled eye patch and matching cravat are delicious.  Wade, well. . .Wade needs to lose the puke brown shirt and sport just that vest to be considered as delicious as Lavon.

Lemon Breeland is a beautiful girl.  This is an indisputable fact.  What is not a fact is that she’s been time-lifted right of the 1950’s.

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Why does she insist on dressing like it then?  It’s not that the dress isn’t flattering.  It is.  It’s a perfectly lovely cut combined with a perfectly matronly print. I’m fairly certain my grandmother had at least one wall covered in like fashion.

The one upside of Lemon’s wardrobe is her accessorizing, like this super cute camel bag.

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In a similar style rut is Lemon’s fiance George. Why I do wonder if Lemon gets all the color in the relationship, I must admit I’m enjoying this gray suit with the purple check shirt and complementary light gray tie.

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As for Dr. Zoe herself, she is definitely a hottie with a body.

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I wish the base of this pattern wasn’t black, but it’s a chic dress, and there is color, so I guess I can’t complain too much.  Plus, the boxy cut of her jacket is the perfect finishing touch. Overall, it’s just the thing to wear when fishing for patients. 

Now for Ringer. . .

 

The shit has hitteth the fan for Shivette, for Andrew, for Malcom and most importantly, for Gemma.  Shivette finally comes to her senses and realizes with Malcom’s help that Charlie is up to no good.  In fact, he’s pretty much a murderous hitman out to hurt everyone connected to Siobhan.  This episode also answers the most important question of all: how has Shivette been sleeping next to Andrew and not hitting that hot slab of man-meat?

Without Gemma, Henry has decided to transform himself into a beatnik English poet, albeit a cute one.

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I swear he didn’t look like this in the last episode. If I didn’t know better, I’d say Henry has been smoking clove cigarettes and quoting Lenny Bruce to the sound of bongos. I guess we all grieve in different ways.

 

Moving on to Malcolm, it looks like NYC agrees with him. Or at least, his wardrobe.

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Specificially this sexy camel leather jacket.  Hey, maybe Lemon Breeland and Malcom Ward would hit it off, considering their mutual love of a good camel leather accessory.  CW, you need to make this happen.

Shivette, that foxy little identity-hijacker, has not only fallen in love with Andrew, her sister’s husband, but with her sister’s wardrobe.

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Not sure how I feel about the contrasting blue leather lapels on this jacket, but I do love the leather detailings of her blouse:

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Yes, I do believe that if I had access to blouses like this plus Hot Andrew, I would also do everything in my power to hold onto my not-dead sister’s life.

 

Speaking of sis…she’s about to flee gay Paree, but not before continuing her web of lies.

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That gigantic collar might even be able to contain all the lies she’s told.  Maybe.

And jumping aboard the Web of Lies Express is Juliet, Andrew’s crazy druggie daughter. Girlfriend is off and buying a one-way ticket to Teacher Town.

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Although maybe she should swing by Fashionville, because this shiny skirt and cropped sweater combo is a trainwreck waiting to happen…unlike her latest lie about Teacher, which I’m sure will just be a blip on the radar compared to when Siobhan rolls into town.