This week on TEH BEST SHOW EVER: Oh, not much. All that happened was that Emily called upon her Japanese revenge mentor, Skank!Emily told Jack that she was the real Amanda Clarke, Nolan wore THE MOST AMAZING OUTFIT EVER, Declan and Charlotte tricked Queen V into basically paying him $25,000 to date Charlotte, Lydia realized that Queen V is more prison warden than nursemaid, Conrad helped Lydia escape to parts unknown, Ashley agrees to help Queen V get the goods on Emily, and Nolan discovered that Tyler knew about Lydia’s speech and then he TOTALLY OUTS TYLER TO ASHLEY as part of his scheme to TOTALLY DESTROY TYLER. Also, volleyball.

 

Emily’s Nolan’s Target
Emily hung out with her sensei, and Nolan proved his worth as her pupil as the pieces of his plan to TOTALLY DESTROY TYLER fell into place. The Red Sharpie of Doom did not make an appearance, but I think that’s because Nolan hasn’t gotten his black belt in Revenge (!!!) yet. Once Emily sees his great progress, maybe he’ll get a Sharpie of his own. 

Gala of the Week
Even Ashley was like, “Queen V, you haven’t been throwing as many parties lately. What’s up?” That must be why she hosted what seemed to be Tyler’s Hey, invest your money with me and my pansexual greasy hair! soiree.  

Best Dressed 
Nolan out-Chuck-Bass-ed Chuck Bass himself in his stripey shirt and paisley bowtie ensemble. BEST OUTFIT EVER. For serious. Me + Nolan = SOULMATES 4-EVA.  

Most Soapy Moment
Well, the point where Fake!Emily started pretending she was Real!Amanda to Jack, my mind kind of collapsed inside of all of the soapish treachery. But the soapiest moment def. has to be the revelation that Emily learned the ways of revenge (!!!) from a powerful Japanese CEO, and she just so happens to speak fluent Japanese. OK, I don’t know if that’s the most soapy moment or just the MOST AWESOME PART OF THE BEST EPISODE OF THE BEST SHOW OF ALL TIME.

After the usual YKYLF staffer wig-pulling catfight, Anthony came out on top as the lucky guy who gets to recap this hour of NON STOP AMAZEBALLS. Check his recap on Saturday. REVENGE!!!!!