While the others we’ve showcased have their own set of issues, the following specimens are venturing into territory I like to call: a few sandwiches short of a picnic. That’s right. They’re losing the plot. They’re crazy going slow am I, 6-5-4-3-2-1….switch…

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Yes, the previously normal and fun to be around Ashley is spending way too much time with Tyler and has her knickers in a twist. She’s totally bitching about her BFF and for no reason I can see other than the dude she’s sleeping with doesn’t like the BFF. Word to the wise Ashley: Don’t pick the mysterious dude over your mysterious friend. But carry on looking lovely while you make questionable choices in men. Love that top and the colour on you is fantastic. Even if it is mildly inappropriate for moving boxes around.

 

The same can be said for Ashley’s employer, Victoria. She also likes to make questionable choices in men (a husband who kills a planeload of people. A security dude who pushes women off of buildings), but always looks so well put together while doing so: 

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The red dress and jacket screams compassion and “Hey Friend! I just rushed to your hospital bedside!”  Oh wait. Not so much. 

 

Also not inspiring any confidence in his sanity is Mr. Crazypants himself, Tyler. 

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I’m not sure where he’s getting the cash for the tailored suits. That Grayson internship must pay real well. Unfortunately you can’t see how shiny his suit is. A less flashy fabric would be nice if you’re on a long con to get folks thinking you’re Fancy Old Money. 

 

But the real crazy this week doesn’t belong to Tyler. It’s all Real Emily.

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Oh honey no, you did not just give Nolan the once over like he doesn’t know how to dress. Sure he pops his collars. And fine, he’s wearing more paisley in one scene than five seasons of Chuck Bass, but you my friend, you are a bumpit away from turning this into Jersey Shore.

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It would seem Emily forgot to mention that the local dress code is Classy, not Klassy. 

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I’m not sure if it’s the guest bikini and the borrowed shirt or if you put roofies in those drinks, but you totally have Jack wrapped around your finger fast. 

 

And if you’re going to raid Emily’s closet for new clothes, you should maybe pick a few of her nicer pieces. 

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The outfit is not all bad. It’s totally normal human being as opposed to Obscenely Wealthy Lady of Mystery. But given the closet and a BFF who’s the same size? You always pick the good stuff. 

 

But Real Emily’s mind is elsewhere. Like Single White Female elsewhere.

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Clearly Emily needs to learn that if you want someone on plane out of the country, you walk them to the gate and make sure they get on the plane. 

 

Adding some creepy to their crazy this week? Oh hai Victoria and Tyler!

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Your crazy and paranoia are getting scary. But I like it. You keep things fresh in the Hamptons. Even if you are willing to pick through someone’s shredding basket.

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And with those crack puzzle solving skills of Tyler’s, the plot seriously thickens. Emily needs to get that Red Sharpie of Doom in action and fast.