This week on TEH BEST SHOW EVER:  Emily’s totally best laid plans  are still getting curve  what with Lydia being sort of amnesic, Victoria being totally paranoid and evil, Ashley’s knickers being in a twist and Tyler being cray-cray for no reason. Let’s break that down. Victoria knows something isn’t right about Emily thanks to Frank’s last words (RIP). She also knows you need to keep your enemies close, so she invites Lydia to move in. Speaking of the Grayson clan, with a house that size, you think they’d be able to avoid one another. Instead, they either kick each other out or, like Daniel, move out. You’d also think they’d be able to find a room further from the invalid to argue about things like throwing her off of roofs. Daniel’s all about commitment this week and quits the bar gig to take his dad’s job. Nolan is growing weary of some of Emily’s schemes. Emily shows us the date stamp on Nova Scotia salmon is the way to alibi out of the murder of a scorned bodyguard. And Real Emily? We’re just getting a glimpse of the tip of her iceberg of insanity.

 

Not a lot of outfit changes, no galas and no Red Sharpie of Doom, but the crazy? Oh it was there and it was there in spades. But let’s start with those who kind of kept their shit together this week and didn’t swan dive off the deep end. 

It’s Walk of Shame Day on Revenge, so we get a repeat of Charlotte’s outfit from last week as she tries to book it home from the bar. Where they totally Just Slept Together. 

 

This was not the case for Ashley and her pal Tyler. But really, are you surprised? He totally did it with Nolan and he barely knows the guy. 

What seemed like a totally adorbs dress on Ash last week appears to be full of ill-advised pockets. It’s a good think she’s tiny, because those pockets do her hips no favours. 

 

Of course, like any Walk of Shame, you never can hide it as well as you think you can. And Victoria Grayson spotted both ladies in their day old party dresses. So good thing for Emily she changed.

Not the world’s most exciting outfit, but a tank top, jeans and what appeared to be a Marc Jacobs bag seems like legit casualware for a wealthy girl hell bent on Revenge and hiding her identity. She makes up for the plain outfit with one sweet bangle:

Anyone else loving the bracelet that looks like a chain? I bet the costume department picked it because a chain is Full of Symbolism. Or maybe just because it’s awesome. Either way, I want one. 

 

And although the YKYLF staff room memo declared we are not actually called “You Know You Love Bitchfaces”, it was wrong not to share the one Emily gave Lydia when she learned Lyds had no idea who she was:

She probably should have tried to look a little less excited about that news. She also should give Nolan more time to photoshop her out of pictures. It looked a little amateur hour to me, but it fooled Victoria and made Lydia look a little crazy.

 

Having said that, Lydia is on our list of not entirely crazy this week.

Falling off a roof has done little for her wardrobe or her memory. Except that she knew enough to ask Victoria this: “what are you doing here?” when she saw her in the hospital. Fortunately for Lyds, Victoria knows the important things you need moved over to your friends place when you’re recuperating from a plunge into a taxi cab: your entire wardrobe. Because you know Lyds is going to want that gold sequined dress back soon. At least, I would. 

 

Elsewhere in Grayson Manor, Charlotte is totally working the innocent teen look with this adorable ensemble.

Don’t want Daddy to know you are headed over to Totally Do It with your boyfriend from the wrong side of the island? Wear a cute girly top complete with eyelet lace bits. Dad will never know. Or maybe he did, which is why he totally cockblocked your boyfriend by telling you all about the Grayson Family Troubles (okay, not all of them. He left out the parts about his dead security dude nearly kiling the family friend who wanted to tell the world Daddy Grayson is responsible for a plane crash and ruining a man. Minor details). 

 

Poor kid. Can’t dress, can’t cook, and can’t seal the deal. Although, I blame the bad accent and not Daddy Grayson.

 

His brother isn’t much for dressing up either.

I’m pretty sure they just buy American Apparel online in bulk. 

 

It’s probably a good thing that this Grayson gets killed at the end of the season. Because he has serious commitment issues and the marriage probably wouldn’t have worked out. I mean, he had the bartending job for maybe a week and he’s already quitting to work for Daddy?

 

Although, he is committed to the flak jacket. He could totally be a foreign correspondent on CNN in that thing. Except, he doesn’t seem super bright. Because maybe it’s not a good idea to invite cops into your girlfriend’s house when she’s not home. Especially when her house is full of SECRETS AND LIES AND GUNS.

Dude cop does not look like a Gunther to me. And lady cop? Great no-nonsense pantsuit. I could never wear it because I’d spill coffee and/or red wine all over the front of it. Which is nonsense coordination skills in an adult. And she is no-nonsense – just like her pantsuit. I bet this bitch has never spilled a cup of coffee on her pants in her life. (I kind of hate her for that).

 

Speaking of no-nonsense, let’s talk Warden for a moment. The lady clearly has Madeleine Albright for a fashion role model. 

 

And while I’m down with Madeline Albright as a role model in general, one probably shouldn’t turn to her for fashion inspiration. But props to Warden for planting the seed in the head of Teenage Amanda/soon-to-be-Emily that she needs to keep her friends close and her enemies closer. A valuable lesson that’ll come in handy when she finally meets Victoria Grayson again. Because if the Warden hadn’t done that, this show would be even less Red Sharpie of Doom and more of this kind of shenanigans:

 

For such a bad looking wig, they did a real good job of keeping it on Emily’s head. Fortunately Teenage Amanda/Emily grew out the bad wig stage pretty quick after leaving juvie. 

Even without the wig, it took awhile before she figured out how to have Mad Style that impresses the ladies of the Hamptons. 

 

Finally, you may call a man in a paisley robe crazy, but I call him Awesomer than Chuck Bass:

Golf claps to Nolan on the bold choice in loungewear.