So, basically, as usual, there are always hits and misses on everyone’s favorite song-and-dance teen dramedy. Here are this week’s misses. Unfortunately, they’re mostly unsurprising.

 

Listen, Artie. I totally dig your music and you’re a fabulous guy. And I acknowledge that you’ve chosen sweater vests to be your ‘thing,’ like Mercedes’ bling or Finn and Mike’s American Apparel hoodies. But you need a finer selection. This black and yellow houndstooth whatsit is just not doing it for me.

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Artie, that’s not what I meant. This one is just boring. Did it come from Old Navy? Seriously, Artie, my man, think big. Get the others to help you hit some designer stores.

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New kid Rory has some learnin’ to do about Amurrikan Fashun, y’all. This shirt? It might belong at an early summer picnic… in the 1950’s… but not in an Ohio high school, let alone in mid-November. It’s so springy, it’s just not adequate for a chilly, relentless Midwestern autumn.

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Tina Cohen-Cheng has moved out of her semi-Goth semi-Lolita phase (sponsored by the local Lima, OH Hot Topic stores) and into a sort of mod squad phase. She throws in bright pops of color with swinging sixties silhouettes… and sometimes it works. This black and white ensemble makes her look like a Munchkin. A mod Munchkin.

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Also… did she borrow Kurt’s white Doc Martens???

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Oh NO. I spoke too soon. Dayglo green AND a Lolita white color with black gumdrop buttons. Tina, I applaud your theatricality but not your execution of the ideas.

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And as for Mr. Schue, he’s revisiting his Mr. Rogers collection. The tie is green, though, which makes for a nice combo with the light blue shirt. But that’s just it… it’s just ‘nice.’

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I hate HATE hate to do this to our boy Kurt… but this is just impressive. The turban is fashion forward, I’ll admit, as are the semi-clashing patterns. But it’s all so dark and confusing to look at. And unfortunately it just comes off as kind of odd and overwhelming. Someday, Kurt, you’ll realize the difference between runway ready and ready to wear… especially what’s okay to wear to school.

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To be fair, this is partly in dream/dance-sequence, so the crazy is acceptable… but Finn’s stripey number is goofy and more fifth grade than eleventh grade…

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…but THIS is just shameful, Finn. We have seen you look better than this. I’m so disappointed. The hoodie is too big, the shirt is the same old thing, and overall he just doesn’t look like a football-star-slash-Glee-club-captain. Step up, Finn. Come on.

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Oh Lord. This is not what I meant. I mean, I absolutely endorse the celebration of fine 80’s music in an appropriate setting, but Hall and Oates are not fashion icons.. and there’s a reason for that. Yikes, Finn.

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Quinn’s rocking it out as best she can, Brat Pack style, but this costuming is more along the lines of the kinda crap the other sub-par show choirs pulled in seasons past. This is not the way New Directions usually does things, and I’m considering this a “do not pass Go, do not collect $200” kind of moment, Finn. And it’s all because of you.

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Speaking of Quinn, I’m not sure what’s happening here. Maybe it would make sense if she were standing up and not blurry, but I’m not sure I’m getting the effect she intended. I don’t like the white top with that skirt — but maybe that’s just because I know what that skirt’s true potential is as a delicious asymmetrical plaid number from Anthro. Also, what is the hat on your head, Quinn? Shapeless and shadowy. Unnecessary.

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Sigh.