So, this week we meet a new friend of Emily’s – Warden Sharon Stiles from the juvenile facility where Emily used to live. Is she Emily’s REVENGE (!!!) mentor? Why was she reminding Emily not to underestimate her enemies? Anyway, her outfit is fairly standard for a woman in her position, and I look forward to seeing more of her.

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I’m also glad to know that Emily’s got a widespread team of minions to help her out with her plans.

 

Closer to home, Jack is not quite a minion, but he’s certainly smitten with her. WAITASEC — cute bartender with shaggy hair and plaid shirts who pines after a girl who is otherwise occupied? Is he also, perhaps, a SHAPESHIFTER?

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The man can wear a plaid shirt well, is all I have to say about this. He also looks ripe for some shirtless scenes — the YKYLF Hierarchy of Shirtless Men is always open to new applicants!

 

Yes, like you, Nolan.

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I think this week might mark the time that everybody starts to fall in luuurve with Nolan as much as I have since episode one. I believe it was fellow YKYLF writer L-A who noted that if Revenge (!!!) is Veronica Mars, then Jack is Duncan and Nolan is Logan. And by the end of Veronica Mars, all that anybody wanted was more Logan.

 

Anyway, we can chart Nolan’s progress this week via his level of collar poppage. He starts out on guard – the white collar is popped, the blue plaid one is down. This combo of collar levels indicates that he’s not sure what he’s thinking, and so is covering all of his bases.

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When he comes to visit Emily, he’s only wearing one collar and… wait a sec. Is this collar HALF POPPED AND HALF DOWN?

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Kinda looks like it. This very rare type of collar pop indicates either a) the wardrobe department didn’t fix his collar between takes or, b) he’s showing that he could go either way. And in the following scene, we see that the latter is certainly true.

 

What to wear to seduce/interrogate/con the skeezy guy who’s been ruining your BFF’s plans? How about ALL BLACK WITH THE COLLAR DOWN?

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I don’t think we’ve ever seen Nolan in a dark colour before. I think he’s going method-actor with this “destroy Tyler through seduction” plan, and dressed dark to play the part. He probably had to buy a black shirt just for this conversation, because everything else he owns is either white or preppy colours.

 

Which brings us to Fake Emily, the Hamptons’ own Princess Kate. Her costumes this week were quite literal, actually. This first black-and-white outfit was worn during a scene where the line “a zebra never changes her stripes” is spoken. You know the costume lady (the one in yellow from the scene before) was like, “Yes! This is the perfect scene for her to wear black and white stripes!”

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Then later, when she goes to bring Jack a gift in the bar, she’s all innocence and wholesomeness – like how Jack reminds her of her idyllic childhood – in this cute white cotton top.

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And then, at the same party where her suddenly slightly evil ex-BFF Ashley compares Emily and Daniel to William and Kate, Emily busts out this green version of Kate Middleton’s famous blue engagement dress:

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Loves it. That green colour looks amazing on Her Royal Hamptons-ness. I’m afraid I have to strip (pun intended) Real Emily of this week’s “best dressed” honours, and give it to Fake Emily here. Hopefully Real Emily won’t come after me with a crowbar now.

Anyway, unlike Kate Middleton, who went from being a sporty, wholesome teen to a princess – Emily went from being a sullen, terrifying teen to a more subtly terrifying adult. Flashback!

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Yeah, if she’d shown up in the Hamptons looking like that, she probably would have had so much success weaseling her way into high society. It’s amazing what some highlights, better-fitting clothes, and an extremely organized plan for Revenge (!!!) can do for a girl!