Time for another Champagne Sorrows Screening Room, where we watch people with big bankrolls cry big fat tears.

This week’s episode
90210 – “It’s The Great Masquerade, Naomi Clark”

 

This week, Adriana was all cute and protective with Dixon because of his drug problem, and they were handcuffed together for 24 hours. Too bad it was all for naught – he went back to the meds, oh, 30 seconds after the 24 hours ended. Naomi throws The Best Masquerade Party Of All Time Of All Colleges with co-host Holly, who goes behind her back (shocker) to ruin her life. Holly manages to publicly humiliate Naomi, and because that wasn’t enough, she reports the party activities to the dean, who dethrones Naomi and makes Holly Chairwoman of the sororities. Naomi is all sad, but then Holly’s evil plan backfire because she and Austin smooch and make-up. Meanwhile, Navid breaks Silver’s heart in front of his uncle in order to gain his trust back, and Annie dumps her 40 (ish) year old boyfriend. Until they get back together 2 hours later. Oh, and Perez Hilton helps Annie with an essay about celebrities.

 

She’s sexy, she knows it, and she doesn’t care about social norms, apparently. Who but a cocky Queen Bee would have the cajones to wear this to class? It’s like she’s starting in her own personal music video.

 

Rawr! It’s good to see that beneath the layers of depression and worry for Raj, Ivy can still crack a smile and a joke. Good on you, Ivy. We knew you were still in there, somewhere.

 

Aw! Can i have this girlfriend+coffee time right now? Ivy sticks to her boyish style with her artsy tee and so very, very many bracelets. If she’s not careful, we’re going to start making Vanessa Abrams comparisons, and that’s never good for a character.

 

…I like the minions on Gossip Girl better. These minions seem a little more “let’s study in our dorm” rather than “let’s destroy lives and then go shopping”. A for effort, though.

 

Silver’s top is perfect for work, but she may be edging into mom-pants territory. A little too matchy, a little too flowy. And yet… the color of her top is great, and she looks professional. Why can she pull off every single outfit she wears? Why? Unfair, I say!

 

Well, Annie certainly is embracing her new dress… her boobs are only about 8 times bigger than normal! Cute date though. If you could see my face, you’d see it was my jealous face.

 

Is it weird that I used to hate Adriana but now I love the sight of her and Dixon laying side-by-side having a heart-to-heart? So sad that he’s not as into it as she is.

 

Holly is rather senatorial in that dress, but I don’t hate it. I might even vote for her if she ran on some sort of “No Accessory Left Behind” platform. Think of all the homeless handbags out there! Speaking of bags, Naomi totally brings it with a Chanel bag. See, even she’s on board with Holly’s platform. It’s a winner, I tell you.

 

Wipe that goofy grin off your face, Annie girl. Yes, that really is Perez Hilton at your door. Now take your daytime sequins and your fab hair and go write a blog post, or something.

 

Oh my god… a hotdog? There’s an off-color joke in there somewhere, but I’m going to let it slide because they are just too adorable. If I were at this party, I’d pinch their foam faces.

 

When Naomi told Austin she would be wearing practically nothing for her costume, I was expecting the worst. Here she is! Boobs out, macaron practically showing. Despite the lack of clothing, Naomi remains classy. I want to plunder that skirt for my closet.

 

 

Ivy, you really are a fox sometimes. Oh, and guys? Somebody remind me to wear this for Halloween ’12, ‘k?

 

Group pic! Is Annie a fairy? I can’t decide if she’s that, or a Christmas ornament. I mean, seriously. Can’t you see her hanging on the tree? Maybe I’ve been drinking too much Starbucks peppermint latte lately. Did you all see that they came out with the red cups already?  It was just Halloween, like, two hours ago. I’m totally not ready for the holidays.

Sorry. I digress….

 

Anywho, her boyfriend shows up in a barrel. I can only imagine it has splinters in not-so-good-places. That’s just bad decision-making, son!

 

Adriana makes the most of Dixon’s incarceration. I’m debating whether or not they would have looked sexier if Adriana was a police officer and Dixon a criminal, though. It would certainly be more apropos of the situation.

 

Well, look who decided to dress up as a cowboy! Oops, my bad, Austin. That’s how you always dress. Carry on.

 

Aaaand there was much rejoicing. Hallelujah. Finally. Bonus? Holly is super jealous, and that makes me even happier.

 

This girl parties yet still looks fierce afterwards! Wish Raj was there to see her the bra she borrowed from Lady Gaga.

 

Finally! I was heartbroken at the thought that Liam wouldn’t accept the modeling contract. Embrace your hotness…don’t hide that light under a bushel! Plus he now, rides a motorcycle, which (in my book) just ups the hotness factor.

 

She might be jealous over the boy dramz, but remember the No Accessory Left Behind platform? Holly’s living it here with her Halloween costume. That is commitment, my friends. And…are those actual bananas? Good for feeding the hungry on the spur of the moment. Holly for President, I tell you. Austin missed out on his chance to be First Cowboy.

 

The next day, Naomi channels both her season 1 self with the middle part, and Lily vdW with the high-necked pink dress and lucite jewelry. Maybe she’s been hanging out with the Rhodes of California?

I know, too many Gossip Girl references. Sorry, sometimes I can’t help myself.

 

How’d you like Halloween with the gang? VOTE!