Since most of this episode was spent with CPS misadventures, political intrigue, and little green men, many of our Gleeks fell by the wayside. Most notably, of course, was Ms. Rachel Berry, former star of the show.

I am loving her vintage dresses this year. The shapes are perfect for her, and they seem more feminine and less twee than all the florals and lace that Quinn wear.

Rachel also has way more wardrobe diversity this year. Even though here she’s wearing another vintage dress, this one has mod influences with that graphic stripe. So very flattering, and I appreciate that Puck has attributed the short sleeves to Global Warming – makes me less concerned Rachel will contract frostbite.

 

But, because she is Rachel Berry and she just can’t help herself, her last outfit is a total miss. I will leave it at this: I am pretty sure Elaine wore this dress – with the white ankle socks – in an early episode of Seinfeld.

Ditching the Dalton uniform was the worst thing that could happen to Blaine, as far as I’m concerned. Why? Because it has revealed his deep, dark secret:

Blaine is either a well-preserved 87 year old man, or he’s a total hipster. Tight, poorly-fitted pants? Check. Ironic woven fedora? Check. Tight white prepster sweater? Check. This could be found in Silverlake or at the bocci courts in Boca Raton.

 

Same with this plaid, short-sleeved shirt. His guns, however, would decidedly not be found in Boa. If we can’t get Mike’s abs, at least we’ve got Blaine’s biceps.

While most of them men on this show have issues unbuttoning their shirts too low, Blaine’s just the opposite. How can these guys not find a happy medium? There is such thing as tasteful unbuttoning.

 

I do love this shot of Blaine and Tina. It looks like a still from a Mod Squad remake. For the record, producers: I would totally watch a buddy action comedy featuring these two actors.

Since she’s right there, let’s deal with Tina. Her wardrobe has definitely moved in the right direction, but there’s still a lot of room for improvement. Take, for example, the reverse-Wednesday Addams dress above, complete with dark striped knee socks. It’s not awful, it’s just not great.

 

More damning, however, is the dress she wears earlier in the episode.

What muumuu abomination is this? It’s horrible. It’s unflattering. It’s ugly as sin. Why would she do this to herself? And why, once she’d put on this awful dress, did she think that the perfect compliment would be knee-high athletic socks? Truth is, happy though she may seem, I think Tina’s gone off the rails.

Case in point: her hair. She has brassy blonde tips, her hair looks overprocessed, and she’s curled it within an inch of its life. This is not the hair of a person making good life decisions.

 

Quinn and her side-eye agree.

 

Poor Mike. It has to be tough when even your abs can’t make your girlfriend stop sobbing. Nice polo, though.

 

I haven’t even bothered to screencap Finn, but can’t stop capping Mike despite the fact that they’re both wearing polos or plaid shirts over tees. The difference is, it looks like Mike chose to wear that shirt and tee, whereas with Finn, it looks like they were the first things he found on the floor that morning.

 

Plus, the man wears yellow pants effortlessly. You have to love a guy who can do that.

 

Oh, and Artie was there, too.