I might as well be honest with you now: you’re going to LOVE Revenge. Seriously, this might be the Fall 2011 debut show I’m most excited about. And I own a Pan-Am bag.

 

What you need to know:
Basically, “Revenge” is a modern twist on the classic novel The Count of Monte Cristo. We’re following Emily Thorne – aka Amanda Clarke – as she infiltrates the super elite Hamptons society with the goal of destroying the families that ruined her life. All you really need to know is that there will be some serious fashion, some seriously attractive people and, most importantly, some surrrrrrrrious dramz.

 

Let’s meet the main characters

1) The One Out For “Revenge”
This would be the lovely Emily Thorne, formerly Amanda Clarke. We don’t know exactly what her father was arrested for, but we know it changed Emily’s life. Snatched from her home at a young age, Emily seems to have done some hard time in juvie and clearly picked up some criminal mastermind techniques. At least she knows how to rock a Grecian dress; how fabulous was that dress on the boat? Oh, did I mention she’s super wealthy?

 

2) The Best Friend
Ashley Davenport – upcoming PR maven and happy transplant from Croydon, England. For right now, Ashley is some comic relief with a sultry accent. She loves her job, wishes she was part of the societal elite, is comfortable around a bottle of champagne and definitely does not want to go back to Croydon. I can sympathize.

 

3) The One In Charge
Victoria Grayson. Let that name strike fear into the hearts of Hamptons-goers and WASPs everywhere. Don’t let the form fitted couture fool you, beneath her sour expression is a poisonous centre filled with malice. In the pilot, Victoria bans her friend, Lydia, from the Hamptons after she finds out the woman slept with her husband. That’s right – bans her from the entire geographical location. Victoria has her own security task force whose job is, apparently, to eject frail adulterers from dockside charity events. Damn, sister.

 

4) The Perfect Family
The Graysons? They’re hardly perfect, but it’s all about keeping up appearances. Conrad, Charlotte aka “Charlie”, and Daniel all have some pretty glaring flaws but next to Victoria, they look like The Little Rascals. We’ve seen poor Daniel on the business end of a gun at the top of the show, so I’m going to avoid getting attached to that one. Even with his frat boyish good looks and skinny tie. Out of the bunch, I think I like Conrad the best. I know, I was shocked too, but the rebellious teenager act that Charlie is fronting doesn’t feel genuine to me. Who orders a round of Rum & Coke at lunchtime? That’s Long Island Iced Tea time, you cow.

 

5) The Lovable Oaf
First of all, his name is Jack – could he be any more all-American? Big, strong, handsome, and dedicated to saving the world, Jack Porter is the eligible bachelor in the Hamptons… who just happens to own a boat named “Amanda”. And he just happens to have a Golden Retriever named Sam that is featured prominently in Emily’s flashbacks. Yeah, don’t expect any subtlety in “Revenge”. When will Jack realize the hot new brooding chick in town just happens to be the long, lost love of his life? I’m sorry, I never knew alliteration was so dramatic.

 

6) The Ones We Haven’t Heard The Last Of
Eric van der Woodsen! Sorry, I just had to get that off my chest. We all remember him as the precocious gay brother on “Gossip Girl” but in this series, Connor Paolo is Declan Porter, Jack’s younger brother. His adorable, mischievous younger brother. Speaking of trouble, the hot mess of a character that is Nolan will definitely pose a few challenges to Emily. Mostly because he knows she’s Amanda, was friends with her dad, and is the source of her vast fortune. Oh yeah, he’s a keeper.

 

Finally, I’ve included Lydia (the skank) because I honestly don’t think her time on this show is over. I mean, she was the one that testified against Emily’s dad and caused a late night break-in by the FBI. Plus, she’s got bitch face 24/7 and looks great in a retro print. You can’t just throw that away.


You guys, I CAN’T WAIT to see more episodes of “Revenge”. The fashion is top notch; the characters are just at the tip of cheese mountain so it’s not completely over the top; and everyone is attractive. Seriously, Emily is total babe. Plus: Eric van der Woodsen!